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This is the SC brain after a six-pack of stupid

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  • This is the SC brain after a six-pack of stupid

    Quoth BookstoreEscapee View Post
    Well, you have to tell it, now! You can't just leave us hanging!
    Ok, so it's Friday, and it's about 20 minutes after I take the "No, this is not the Cable TV company" call. I don't have an assigned seat yet, and since I'm new to the department, I sit VERY VERY close to a supervisor (we'll call her Miss Polly Polite).
    This is the portion of the call I got to hear later on recording:
    PP = Miss Polly Polite, one of the sweetest, nicest, most even-tempered people I have ever met. Nothing upsets her, and she's always calm and professional, never swears.
    SC = woman calling in after consuming a six-pack of stupid and a fifth of ignorant


    PP: Thank you for calling FU-Telephone Repair, this is Polly, how can I help you tonight?
    SC: I think my house is on fire.
    PP: Ma'am, you need to call 911 immediately and leave the premises.
    SC: But I think it started in the wall where the phone wires might be.
    PP: We can determine that later. Right now, you need to hang up and call 911. Then make sure all other residents leave the premises with you.
    SC: Oh god! I can see the flames <sound of door being slammed shut> Can you get a repairman out here?
    PP: Ma'am, I need you to listen to me. You must hang up and call 911.
    SC: But I need to stay on the line so I can report this.

    At this point, I've just gone on break, and I hear Polly Polite start to raise her voice, which she never does. Then she motions for me to come to her desk and yells out "Bring your headset."
    I go over. I plug in to the phone, and I hear:


    PP: But ma'am, you need to.....
    SC: ... oh, sweet jesus, the smoke's starting to come into the room. What do I do?
    PP<screaming like a banshee, thereby alerting literally the entire call center>: Hang up and call 911! Do it now! Nine!! One!! One!!

    Then I grab Polly's pen and write down the number, which mercifully has shown up on her caller ID on the desk phone. I go back to my desk and another supervisor, Biff Studly, comes over and I fill him in. He works his magic and finds the number for emergency services in that woman's area code and exchange, and he makes the call

    PP: Ma'am, you have to get out of there! <Polly enters the number and opens the account so we can get SC's address, which I write down and take back to Biff. He gives the addy to the 911 operator and says, "Have Polly tell the nutjob that help is on the way, and that she needs to leave the house">

    <I relay info to Polly, who is now screaming at the SC>
    PP: Lady, don't be a fool! Get out of the house now!

    <Polly sees me and I relay the message. Polly presses her mute button and shrieks at me:>

    PP (to me): No shit, sherlock? Really? What the <censored> do you think I've been trying to do all this time?? Damn, this has got to be the most <censored> <double-censored> I have ever had to....
    <Polly releases the mute button and shrieks
    Lady, I don't care! Get your ignorant, wishy-washy carcass out of the house right this damn minute, or you will die!
    SC: Oh, I hear the fire engines now. What should I do?
    PP: Oh, for christ's sakes, lady -- leave the house.
    SC: But the hallway's on fire <cough cough> and the smoke is <cough cough>
    PP: Where's your window? What floor are you on?
    SC< cough> the one in my bedroom
    PP <rolls eyes> Are you on the second story of your house?
    SC: What?
    PP: Are you upstairs?
    SC: There aint' no <cough> upstairs
    PP: Then open your window and jump out! Do it now!
    <line goes dead>

    Polly throws down her headset and shrieks, loudly enough for everyone working to hear:
    I can't do this <double-censored> job anymore!

    She runs out and locks herself in the women's room, sobbing hysterically.

    Biff calmly looks up and says, "Oh, <censored>. That was unexpected."

    I went to the ladies' room door and sat outside. Polly emerged 20 minutes later, took one look at me and started crying again.
    "I'm so sorry I yelled at you," she gasped between sobs. "I've never used that word before in my life, and...."
    "No worries," I say, "my step-mother uses that as a compliment. Are you ok?"
    "No," Polly says as she dabs her eyes with toilet paper, "that woman could be dead right now. I should have ..."
    "No," I said, "because that woman was an ignorant <censored>. You can't fix stupid. Anyway, what do you say we blow this joint and go get some food? I'm sure they'll let us both go, since you melted down and are, of course, in no shape to drive or continue working, and you will need someone to be with you."
    "Sounds good," she said, and she trotted up to the resource management area and told the RA on duty that she and I were leaving, and that we were to be paid because of "job-related stress," and I was going to "babysit" her. The RA hit a few uttons on her computer and said, "You're set. Need a valium? I got some in my purse."
    And we left and went to Subway, where Miss Polly started dinner by saying, "That <censored> must've drunk a six-pack of stupid and a fifth of ignorant. What would possess a person to call the <censored> phone company when their house is on fire?"
    I shrugged my shoulders and offered her part of my oatmeal raisin cookie while she vented.

    So, yeah, Friday -- not a great day. I just figured it was a symptom of having a new job, for me.
    And I was going to write this up on Monday, after I found out the aftermath.

  • #2
    Send my hugs to Polly Polite.
    I understand tho, even if I never had to face that THICK of a situation, I know what it's like to be soooooo frustrated that the other person won't listen to you because what you say makes so much sense it seems to short circuit the other person's brain functions.
    Now would be a good time to visit So Very Unofficial!

    "I've had so many nasty customers this week, my bottomless pit is now ankle-deep."-Me.

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    • #3
      Awggghhh? (brain explodes)

      Okay, I'm better now.

      Another Darwin Award in waiting.
      Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

      "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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      • #4
        Everybody reacts differently to very threatening or dangerous situations, a very few (like myself, which I give thanks for every time) go into effective mode, when there is somethign midly bad I go crazy and yell obsenities and such, but when something goes REALLY bad I sudenly become cold, rational and clear minded. So I end up resolving nasty situations.

        Other people can paralize with either fear or indecission.

        Then, there is the type of people liek this woman that react emotionally. They can either sob histerically, or like her, call the phone company because there is fire in her house, and then fail to follow any directions because of their state of shock... at least polly reacted acoordingly and jarred the woman hard enough to try and make her react. got answers out of her, and I hope convinced hed to do go out of the window at the end. Also I would love to commend you for taking note of the phone number off callerid, the manager for finding her local 911 branch number, and you all team for getting her help

        Reacting logically to an emergency is something either you're born with (like me) or something you need to train for a very long time for a very specialized field of work (like EMTs, police, soldiers, etc). So it's normal that the woman went into a shock induced histeria there that forced her to take bad decissions. she was just incredibly lucky that she found herself at the hands of a proactive, resourcefull and active team like yours and managed to get real help

        Kudos to you all
        I pet animals, I rescue insects, I hug trees.

        "I picture the lead singer of Gwar screaming 'People of Japan, look at my balls! My swinging pendulous balls!!!'" -- Khyras

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        • #5
          I can not wrap my brain around this level of stupidity..... Working for a natural gas company, we get customers calling in gas leaks all the time, and based on thier answers to a few important questions, sometimes we have to advise them to leave the area. This means, "Get the hell out of the house!!" At least 1 out of every 10 gas leak calls, the caller will protest having to leave thier nice comfy house. "It's cold outside", "I don't have anywhere to go", and the worst, "But I've got kids..." If we are advising that you leave the area, that means the house could go "BOOM". We can't force you to leave, but damn it, if you have any respect for your life or the lives of your kids, you'll get out, and not in a few minutes, but RIGHT NOW!! By law, we are required to respond within 60 minutes and are usually there with in 30 or less. I think dealing with the kids outside for 30-60 minutes is worth keeping them alive another day.....<sigh> Seems consuming a 6 pack of stupid runs rampant among SC's.

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          • #6
            I can understand the "paralyzed with fear" idea, but this goes beyond that into total catatonic-ness.
            The New Orleans Saints are your 2009 NFL champions.

            Believe dat.

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            • #7
              She could be impaired and not necessarily even know it.

              I once was working airplanes and I had a gentleman try and land on a busy freeway, more than once. He kept insisting that he saw the runway and was going to land. He kept saying he was very tired and just wanted to land.

              I talked him out of it and had a horrible time getting him to land but finally he did.

              We investigated and it turned out he had an airplane problem and was suffering from carbon monoxide poisoning. He sure seemed like a SC but he wasn't.

              Since she may well have been inhaling quite a bit of smoke before she even realized there was a fire it's possible the same thing was happening to her.

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              • #8
                Then again, stress does strange things. I once worked a guy who was making his first solo flight and he panicked and just started flying east. He wasn't flying anywhere in particular he just froze and kept flying east.

                We had to get his instructor into the tower and have him speak to this guy in his native language before he'd acknowledge anything and we finally got him back around and on the ground safely.

                He was so panicked he almost killed himself and the only danger he was in, he created himself. I'd imagine that someone in a fire might react along the same lines or worse.

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                • #9
                  Quoth Simply Amazed View Post
                  Since she may well have been inhaling quite a bit of smoke before she even realized there was a fire it's possible the same thing was happening to her.
                  She called when she "thought" there was a fire, and it slowly crept up on her. from the sound of it, it was a pretty small fire at first and it got bigger as she at first stubbornly stayed on the phone with the wrong people and THEN maybe she got smoke poisoning.

                  That's what it sounds like to me.
                  Now would be a good time to visit So Very Unofficial!

                  "I've had so many nasty customers this week, my bottomless pit is now ankle-deep."-Me.

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                  • #10
                    That sounded a bit like a prank call... well... until the coughing and shrieking started.

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                    • #11
                      Quoth Shironu-Akaineko View Post
                      She called when she "thought" there was a fire, and it slowly crept up on her. from the sound of it, it was a pretty small fire at first and it got bigger as she at first stubbornly stayed on the phone with the wrong people and THEN maybe she got smoke poisoning.

                      That's what it sounds like to me.
                      The thing is carbon monoxide is colorless and odorless and it's around long before the fire would be noticeable.

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                      • #12
                        Quoth Bliss View Post
                        Reacting logically to an emergency is something either you're born with (like me) or something you need to train for a very long time for a very specialized field of work (like EMTs, police, soldiers, etc). So it's normal that the woman went into a shock induced histeria there that forced her to take bad decissions. she was just incredibly lucky that she found herself at the hands of a proactive, resourcefull and active team like yours and managed to get real help
                        While this makes perfect sense, I would think that after Polly told her, multiple times, to call 911 and get out of the house, it would've clicked in her brain that she needed to do just that.

                        I must agree with BB, the Stupid is strong in this one.

                        BTW, love the thread title! And a big hug to Polly for having to deal with that concrete-skulled dolt!
                        I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
                        My LiveJournal
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                        • #13
                          Quoth XCashier View Post
                          While this makes perfect sense, I would think that after Polly told her, multiple times, to call 911 and get out of the house, it would've clicked in her brain that she needed to do just that.

                          I must agree with BB, the Stupid is strong in this one.

                          BTW, love the thread title! And a big hug to Polly for having to deal with that concrete-skulled dolt!
                          I was laughing so hard at "The Stupid is strong" that I splooshed Diet Pepsi onto my monitor. <high five>
                          Consider that one bogarted, dude!

                          Anyway, I would have updated sooner, but work has been sucking the life force out of me this week.
                          On Monday, I saw Polly, and she's all better. I printed out the post from Shironu, and she says to say thanks for the well-wishes. <big hug>
                          The SC is alive and recovering from the smoke inhalation. When the fire trucks and EMT's arrived, she was halfway out the window.... kind of. She had dropped the phone and was trying to <drum roll, please be seated>.....
                          CRAWL BACK INSIDE TO GET IT!!!!!!!!


                          The firemen had to drag her out through the window. Involuntarily, might I add.
                          But, the SC kept talking about "the nice lady at the phone company," so one of the firemen called our 1-800 number to update us and to let "whoever took the call" know that he/she had probably saved this woman's life.
                          And the upshot -- Polly has decided that life is too short, and she wants to make some changes. She felt she was "wound a bit too tight," so she wants to find the fun. I suggested she start slowly, perhaps by doing some frivolous shopping on a weekday (she only goes on weekends).
                          One of "the boyz" who works with us was walking past, talking to his boyfriend, heard only the word "shopping," dropped his phone, and said to us, "I get off at 6. Meet me in the lot at my car. Don't leave without me."
                          And then it dawned on me -- Polly needs a "special friend," as we say in coded language. And since being a fag hag has worked out splendidly for me lo these many years, I highly recommended it.
                          So, Polly and Ricqué (pronounced Ri-KAY, formerly Ricky) went shopping. Then they went to dinner. Then they stayed up half the night talking. It was a total girls' night out.
                          Of course, now they're the talk of the call center, because everyone thinks they're "an item." And they are -- in that whacky "Will & Grace" sort of way.
                          Oh, and Polly says everyone's invited to the "wedding."

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                          • #14
                            That...is...awesome.
                            You're focusing on the problem. If you focus on the problem, you can't see the solution. Never focus on the problem! --From Patch Adams

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                            • #15
                              I can only hope that this was truely a case of CO poisoning or panic induced disfunction.

                              Actually I'm willing to rule out panic. It just now occured to me that the effort it takes to hunt down the phone number to the phone company required her to look in a phone book or to hunt down and find a bill or some other method of finding the number.

                              Far FAR more effort it takes for someone to remember 911 which for various reasons is now etched into our synapses by shows like Emergency 911, Cops and America's Most Wanted, as well as 13 years in school. And lets not forget to mention the 9/11 tragedy which has also given us another reminder.

                              No I'm thinking that this was plain and simple stupidity whether it was caused by CO poisioning or natural dumbness we'll never know.

                              Glad to hear that Polly is doing better and I hope her and her new "fabulous" friend have a good time.

                              Mongo
                              I never lost my faith in humanity. Can't lose what you never had right?

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