I didn't need that mental picture

[Delphae]

A guy came in 2 weeks ago while H and I were sorting totes. He was 50ish, and not very attractive. I was closer and he asked me, "What chapstick will make my lips kissably smooth?"
Me: "I'm not sure, I just use whatever."
C: This one is cherry, is it for women.
Me: I don't think so, it just smells like cherries.
C: Well I got my chapstick, do I get a kiss to try it out?
Me No
C: Why not?
Me: I have a boyfriend.
C: So do I.
Me: Then isn't it his job to kiss you.
C: He has a beard. Would you kiss a guy with a beard.

Thanks, I really needed to think of you kissing your bearded boyfriend. Johnny Dep and Orlando Bloom on the other hand...


Had another customer the other day who wanted to send a Western Union. I asked him if he had his money and ID. He had the money, no ID.
SC: I don't have an ID, well I do but the names aren't the same.
Me: The names need to match sir.
SC: It is my friend's ID. Names need to match?
Me: Yes the names need to match.
SC; Names need to match?
Me: Yes they need to match.

Honestly, what does he think, that id is just a formality and we don't keep track of things. Well officer, I have a licence, but it isn't mine. Is that OK?

The same day I had a woman who kept confusing me when sending a Western Union because she kept insisting that I understand that she was sending 55 dollars instead of her usual 50 and wanted me to tell the operator at the other end. It doesn't matter what you sent last time. She even interupted me while I was on the phone.

[Imogene]

I was closer and he asked me, "What chapstick will make my lips kissably smooth?"
---
Me: I have a boyfriend.
C: So do I.

Hrmm... Burt's Bees has been doing wonders for mine. But, it helps that I've also stopped interacting with stupid customers, so I've stopped gnawing on my lips. *turn and walk away*

Forgive me if I'm wrong, Delphae, but I've always pictured you as a girl. A gay/Bi/other guy came in and hit on you after buying chapstick, and he has somebody? That's some open relationship, either that, or 'left hand is unaware of what right hand is doing', and needs to be made aware.

[Becks]

Had another customer the other day who wanted to send a Western Union. I asked him if he had his money and ID. He had the money, no ID.
SC: I don't have an ID, well I do but the names aren't the same.
Me: The names need to match sir.
SC: It is my friend's ID. Names need to match?
Me: Yes the names need to match.
SC; Names need to match?
Me: Yes they need to match.

I'm almost curious as to what the SC thought the purpose of IDs are.

[megami]

i just love it when people try to use a credit card and their ID doesn't match...or they don't look anything like the person in the picture.

[XCashier]

Had another customer the other day who wanted to send a Western Union. I asked him if he had his money and ID. He had the money, no ID.
SC: I don't have an ID, well I do but the names aren't the same.
Me: The names need to match sir.
SC: It is my friend's ID. Names need to match?
Me: Yes the names need to match.
SC; Names need to match?
Me: Yes they need to match.

"NAW! We'll just give the money to whomever walks in the door? You say you're Joe Schmoe, sure, we'll believe you. Here's that $10,000 your grandma sent you!"

And what kind of sleazy business is he running where he's got an ID with a phony name on it?!

[CurlyLocks]

I almost didn't get some money my husband wired me once because some bozo at Western Union spelled both my first and last names wrong. In fairness, both my names have unusual spellings, but come on! Obviously my husband spelled my names right when he sent it, and this is the kind of job that you really need to be accurate with. Anyway, the lady at the office I was at in Florida finally said "I believe you're who you say are so I'm going to give you the money", to my great relief. But I'm sure not everyone would have been nice enough to do that.

[Anakah]

I hate getting hit on by old men.

This guy cashed out a 100 and was like:
SC: Now how about a date?
Me: No. You need to win way more.

He finally went away.

[chainedbarista]

sometimes, too much IS really too much

we had an interesting experience this past weekend on closing shift:

two guys, probably in their late 20's/early 30's walk in, nothing out of the ordinary, or so it would seem...

b: cashier (the poor kid...)
me: well, who else?
sl: shift lead
guy 1: tall, heavyset, dark haired
guy 2: much the same, but with glasses

1 & 2 walk up to b while mulling over their drinks for a few seconds (a record time, considering we've had others take several minutes, usually while 'multitasking.'), then this occurs:

1: i'd like a large americano

2: (strikes thoughtful pose) hmm, i'd like something sweet, i'll have a white mocha, triple with raspberry.

all is well until the transaction is nearly complete:

b: that'll be x dollars. (to the white mocha order) like sweet drinks, huh?

2: (said in the fake gay stereotype lisp) oh yes!

1: can you tell WHO'S the bottom?

me: (over at espresso machine)P

sl:

b: uh, thanks, i really didn't need to know that...

i fix their drinks, they pick them up, and i'm still dying inside (laughing, that is) from the comment above...they go out to the patio area.

all of us on shift: at the overall weirdness of the moment.

i have to say, that was one of the more interesting nights i'd had, at least, for a single transaction

[air914]

Oh oh we had a guy that used to come into the coffee place I worked at - he was dressed as a woman - now I don't know if he'd had any surgeries or anything but he was the ugliest woman... actually I think there were two - but this was the only one that came back more than once......

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I hate getting hit on by old men.

This guy cashed out a 100 and was like:
SC: Now how about a date?
Me: No. You need to win way more.

He finally went away.

Awesome!

[JustADude]

guy 1: tall, heavyset, dark haired
guy 2: much the same, but with glasses

...

2: (said in the fake gay stereotype lisp) oh yes!

1: can you tell WHO'S the bottom?

...

Those descriptions (vauge as they are) sound like my roomie and I. Don't worry ladies, we're both hetro . When we're just chilling out, though, we'll banter and joke with the people behind the counter, and we'd pull something like that if we thought the crew would find it funny. Only 3 things make me sure that wasn't us:

1) I don't drink mochas. I do chai or a quad latte with amaretto, depending on if I feel like getting wired or not.
2) My friend and I both happen to think whoever invented the Americano should be taken out back and shot,
3) We haven't been to a coffee house in months except for this bohemian place owned by a friend of ours.

[Delphae]

*

Forgive me if I'm wrong, Delphae, but I've always pictured you as a girl. A gay/Bi/other guy came in and hit on you after buying chapstick, and he has somebody? That's some open relationship, either that, or 'left hand is unaware of what right hand is doing', and needs to be made aware.

I am a girl. That is what made it worse.

[AFpheonix]

Oh oh we had a guy that used to come into the coffee place I worked at - he was dressed as a woman - now I don't know if he'd had any surgeries or anything but he was the ugliest woman... actually I think there were two - but this was the only one that came back more than once......

I don't know why, but all the trannies in this area always dress like 80's business women.

[Ackee]

1: i'd like a large americano

This is a whole different level of sucky behaviour in this horrible game we call work.