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So i got a new job
This is a call center job, and 5 weeks of training earning me the nickname Squirrel Girl, an inside joke of #stillintraining and promoted to customer, and a kahoot addiction (seriously i find a bar that has kahoot trivia nights and i'm learning how to drink to hit them) leading to me finally on the floor taking calls. Which I am actually good at cause i can fake nice like a champ and i can use my tools well and am willing to ask for help (Seriously I got two water bottled cause i was the only one in my training group will to go up to the boss when he was giving them to group a and ask for 1 then got a second when they gave to us)
So time for call center stories
Oh i work for a car company and handle the push a button and talk to a person while in my car stuff
My genitalia won't change the answer
Get a call and first words out of his mouth are
"I ain't telling you anything until you get me a supervisor, a MALE supervisor. No way you can help me"
No name, no case number no car information (except what he entered into the system meaning I could search for a case while telling him the following with a smile)
1. You only get a manager if my escalations team wants to laugh at you. (OK not really I said my supervisor can't talk to you until I do my job find out who you are and whats happening)
2. My supervisor isn't male (true i had 2 female trainers)
3. The facts won't change just because the person only has one X chromosome
needless to say I was a unhelpful b*tch and he hung up. Awww i thought we where going to be best friends
What do you mean you can't telepathically know what I want
(aka read faster)
SC calls to check up on a past case
Unfortunately he called twice the previous day and the second agent created a second case instead of checking past cases and he had two case for me to read.
I tell him politely I need a minute to read the case notes to see what has happened since he last called. I read stupid case witch bare bones notes and no further work in 30 seconds and pull up the case with actual work happening on it and have more to actually read.
As I am doing this I am still speaking with customer assuring him I'm just reading what's happened to see if I need to get escalations to push something through (which I did).
After a full 1 minute and 45 seconds he starts demanding a supervisor because 'YOU OBVIOUSLY DON'T KNOW WHAT YOUR DOING'
i tell him he isn't going to get a supervisor (we seriously have a no sup call policy you will seriously only get a sup if someone higher up wants to laugh at you) but I am going to get in touch with my escalation team because it looks like this a tech issue they can push through.
I call over find out yep its a we need some documents case and if he had just listened to the last agent he would be half done by now.
I try to tell him this but he keeps cutting me off saying that if he isn't getting a supervisor then he doesn't want to hear it. I finally tell him I'm telling him what needs to be done to fix his issue and if he doesn't want to hear it no one can help him.
He hangs up.
Hello Mister Teddy Bear
I had an angry third party company call us because while they have company representative they can talk to and have a deal to advertise for them with their service, he was upset if he went through normal customer processes he would need to get info for every vehicle the company is using and add them to the online account management services separately. After confirming with escalations that yep the system wasn't set up for companies with fleets of cars but for private owners and 150 vehicles would have to be added 1 at a time, and if he had a company rep he should talk to them (and I politely suggested that maybe as a for profit company he should really keep copies of documents that prove ownership of assists on file. You know having a copy of the that registration might be handy one day... )
He hung up after calling us all useless.
I finish making my notes when I hear a voice behind me and I turn around and see what I can only describe as a tall African- American Teddy Bear. It was the escalations agent who had made sure there where no mass input tolls for me and he wanted to make sure that the angry customer hadn't rattled me and I was going to be ok.
I laugh and thank him tell him I've heard and seen worse and tell him about the whole 'Company with 150 vehicles on the road all day can't keep copies of proof of ownership on file like a 18 year old with their first car would' with an added 'seriously I still have copies of the title and registration of my first vehicle and I haven't owned it over 15 years'.
He laughed gave me a sucker and told me I was doing a a good job.
I'M NOT TECH SUPPORT!!!!
this call took an hour
AN HOUR
10 minutes where
'How do i get to website? Foreward slash? Is that F-O-R-E? OR F-O-U-R? is this a www? MYCOMPANYNAMA? (cause he kept mispronoucing the company) When I type in the search box it takes me back to companywebsite.com... or you mean the website search box...'
20 minutes where
'Oh I forgot my password... lets reset that' and 'How do i access my email'
the whole time i'm on speaker phone, with his wife translating for me in the background cause my voice is very feminine on the phone and was too high pitched for him to hear.
And i had to adapt mean robot voice to be understood, my training mates where concerned. When I was done i turned to the vet who was suppose to sit with me and told him 'I need to get caffeine real fast or I'm going to slit my wrists' this lead to a mini meeting that if we need a few minutes after a call tell the TL because they care about out mental health.
I'm Sorry Nice Lady
Ok most cases have 2-3 interactions documented on them
If there is research needed there can be 9-10 interactions documented
This call?
HAD 29.
I saw it got wide eyed.
I immediately call escalations
'Hi Slicey whats the vin we are working on'
'Hi Nice Escalations lady who has really helped me alot vin is xxxxxxxx and I'm really really really sorry you got this case'
'Uh oh, nooooo don't tell me its a bad one'
'there are 29 documentations and the words legal action threatened are in the customer response'
'.....29????? How is that possible!!!!' then 'Oh my lord, this case looks familiar why does it look familiar'
'Hey! I found your name in the records NL!'
'Damn this is the website glitch case'
It ended with me having to tell the caller to talk to their regional case officer in the morning because it was a website coding issue but the poor escalations agent even realized that we are so screwed with this case.
Honestly we don't care about your spending habits
In order to clear a vin from pass ownership we need registration, a receipt of some kind and identification.
This guy was insulted that we had to see how much he bought the car for in order to register his car on his account. I told him we don't car what he spent, title could work to, we just need proof he bought the vehicle (and trying to imply that we need to make sure he did steal the car)
He refused to send anything and cursed me. I smiled for a hour and told my table mate i love being called a bitch.
So how many books you want to buy me
1/4 of the calls we get are
'I didn't know the package I enrolled into with yearly payments would renew each year automatically! How was I suppose that a payment once a year each year meant every automatic payments!!??'
and
'What do you mean that when I signed up for 3 packages online where the prices are spelled out for me online in clear English and separate lines on the payment screen that I was going to be continued to be charged for all three packages and not the cost of package'
or funnily enough
'I don't want the package I use 5 times a day because I can't have it without PACKAGE THAT ACTUALLY CONNECTS THE CAR TO THE INTERNET and will totally call back every day for the next month, cause I miss being able to turn my ac on before I get into the car and will eventually reenroll only to repeat this process again when I have another 200 dollar charge.'
So getting a cancellation call isn't that weird.
Except this customer couldn't remember any of security details that are needed to you know prove that he can change anything to do with his billing.
I had to advise him to visit the website to reset his security questions.
He immediately threatened to sue everyone and me personally if his subscriptions weren't cancelled then because he didn't 'know what the money was even for'.
I told him I can't make any changes to his billing information and plans because 'If someone called up claiming to be you and wanting to buy alot of expensive stuff on your card you wouldn't want me to say yes would you'
'I don't care about that I just want you to cancel this now!'
'Sir, if you can't provide me with the security details I can't prove you are you, and therefore its like me buying a bunch of stuff on your card without you knowing'
this was the one time where escalations took the call because they wanted to laugh at the guy and told them the same thing
he basically said 'I don't care about protecting my credit card and billing information as long as you cancel this subscription now.'
Its a good thing that I'm not the criminal my dad was is it...
Ok thats the highlight for my first week on the phone
if anyone wants to hear about the adventures of Squirrel Girl in training let me know
This is a call center job, and 5 weeks of training earning me the nickname Squirrel Girl, an inside joke of #stillintraining and promoted to customer, and a kahoot addiction (seriously i find a bar that has kahoot trivia nights and i'm learning how to drink to hit them) leading to me finally on the floor taking calls. Which I am actually good at cause i can fake nice like a champ and i can use my tools well and am willing to ask for help (Seriously I got two water bottled cause i was the only one in my training group will to go up to the boss when he was giving them to group a and ask for 1 then got a second when they gave to us)
So time for call center stories
Oh i work for a car company and handle the push a button and talk to a person while in my car stuff
My genitalia won't change the answer
Get a call and first words out of his mouth are
"I ain't telling you anything until you get me a supervisor, a MALE supervisor. No way you can help me"
No name, no case number no car information (except what he entered into the system meaning I could search for a case while telling him the following with a smile)
1. You only get a manager if my escalations team wants to laugh at you. (OK not really I said my supervisor can't talk to you until I do my job find out who you are and whats happening)
2. My supervisor isn't male (true i had 2 female trainers)
3. The facts won't change just because the person only has one X chromosome
needless to say I was a unhelpful b*tch and he hung up. Awww i thought we where going to be best friends
What do you mean you can't telepathically know what I want
(aka read faster)
SC calls to check up on a past case
Unfortunately he called twice the previous day and the second agent created a second case instead of checking past cases and he had two case for me to read.
I tell him politely I need a minute to read the case notes to see what has happened since he last called. I read stupid case witch bare bones notes and no further work in 30 seconds and pull up the case with actual work happening on it and have more to actually read.
As I am doing this I am still speaking with customer assuring him I'm just reading what's happened to see if I need to get escalations to push something through (which I did).
After a full 1 minute and 45 seconds he starts demanding a supervisor because 'YOU OBVIOUSLY DON'T KNOW WHAT YOUR DOING'
i tell him he isn't going to get a supervisor (we seriously have a no sup call policy you will seriously only get a sup if someone higher up wants to laugh at you) but I am going to get in touch with my escalation team because it looks like this a tech issue they can push through.
I call over find out yep its a we need some documents case and if he had just listened to the last agent he would be half done by now.
I try to tell him this but he keeps cutting me off saying that if he isn't getting a supervisor then he doesn't want to hear it. I finally tell him I'm telling him what needs to be done to fix his issue and if he doesn't want to hear it no one can help him.
He hangs up.
Hello Mister Teddy Bear
I had an angry third party company call us because while they have company representative they can talk to and have a deal to advertise for them with their service, he was upset if he went through normal customer processes he would need to get info for every vehicle the company is using and add them to the online account management services separately. After confirming with escalations that yep the system wasn't set up for companies with fleets of cars but for private owners and 150 vehicles would have to be added 1 at a time, and if he had a company rep he should talk to them (and I politely suggested that maybe as a for profit company he should really keep copies of documents that prove ownership of assists on file. You know having a copy of the that registration might be handy one day... )
He hung up after calling us all useless.
I finish making my notes when I hear a voice behind me and I turn around and see what I can only describe as a tall African- American Teddy Bear. It was the escalations agent who had made sure there where no mass input tolls for me and he wanted to make sure that the angry customer hadn't rattled me and I was going to be ok.
I laugh and thank him tell him I've heard and seen worse and tell him about the whole 'Company with 150 vehicles on the road all day can't keep copies of proof of ownership on file like a 18 year old with their first car would' with an added 'seriously I still have copies of the title and registration of my first vehicle and I haven't owned it over 15 years'.
He laughed gave me a sucker and told me I was doing a a good job.
I'M NOT TECH SUPPORT!!!!
this call took an hour
AN HOUR
10 minutes where
'How do i get to website? Foreward slash? Is that F-O-R-E? OR F-O-U-R? is this a www? MYCOMPANYNAMA? (cause he kept mispronoucing the company) When I type in the search box it takes me back to companywebsite.com... or you mean the website search box...'
20 minutes where
'Oh I forgot my password... lets reset that' and 'How do i access my email'
the whole time i'm on speaker phone, with his wife translating for me in the background cause my voice is very feminine on the phone and was too high pitched for him to hear.
And i had to adapt mean robot voice to be understood, my training mates where concerned. When I was done i turned to the vet who was suppose to sit with me and told him 'I need to get caffeine real fast or I'm going to slit my wrists' this lead to a mini meeting that if we need a few minutes after a call tell the TL because they care about out mental health.
I'm Sorry Nice Lady
Ok most cases have 2-3 interactions documented on them
If there is research needed there can be 9-10 interactions documented
This call?
HAD 29.
I saw it got wide eyed.
I immediately call escalations
'Hi Slicey whats the vin we are working on'
'Hi Nice Escalations lady who has really helped me alot vin is xxxxxxxx and I'm really really really sorry you got this case'
'Uh oh, nooooo don't tell me its a bad one'
'there are 29 documentations and the words legal action threatened are in the customer response'
'.....29????? How is that possible!!!!' then 'Oh my lord, this case looks familiar why does it look familiar'
'Hey! I found your name in the records NL!'
'Damn this is the website glitch case'
It ended with me having to tell the caller to talk to their regional case officer in the morning because it was a website coding issue but the poor escalations agent even realized that we are so screwed with this case.
Honestly we don't care about your spending habits
In order to clear a vin from pass ownership we need registration, a receipt of some kind and identification.
This guy was insulted that we had to see how much he bought the car for in order to register his car on his account. I told him we don't car what he spent, title could work to, we just need proof he bought the vehicle (and trying to imply that we need to make sure he did steal the car)
He refused to send anything and cursed me. I smiled for a hour and told my table mate i love being called a bitch.
So how many books you want to buy me
1/4 of the calls we get are
'I didn't know the package I enrolled into with yearly payments would renew each year automatically! How was I suppose that a payment once a year each year meant every automatic payments!!??'
and
'What do you mean that when I signed up for 3 packages online where the prices are spelled out for me online in clear English and separate lines on the payment screen that I was going to be continued to be charged for all three packages and not the cost of package'
or funnily enough
'I don't want the package I use 5 times a day because I can't have it without PACKAGE THAT ACTUALLY CONNECTS THE CAR TO THE INTERNET and will totally call back every day for the next month, cause I miss being able to turn my ac on before I get into the car and will eventually reenroll only to repeat this process again when I have another 200 dollar charge.'
So getting a cancellation call isn't that weird.
Except this customer couldn't remember any of security details that are needed to you know prove that he can change anything to do with his billing.
I had to advise him to visit the website to reset his security questions.
He immediately threatened to sue everyone and me personally if his subscriptions weren't cancelled then because he didn't 'know what the money was even for'.
I told him I can't make any changes to his billing information and plans because 'If someone called up claiming to be you and wanting to buy alot of expensive stuff on your card you wouldn't want me to say yes would you'
'I don't care about that I just want you to cancel this now!'
'Sir, if you can't provide me with the security details I can't prove you are you, and therefore its like me buying a bunch of stuff on your card without you knowing'
this was the one time where escalations took the call because they wanted to laugh at the guy and told them the same thing
he basically said 'I don't care about protecting my credit card and billing information as long as you cancel this subscription now.'
Its a good thing that I'm not the criminal my dad was is it...
Ok thats the highlight for my first week on the phone
if anyone wants to hear about the adventures of Squirrel Girl in training let me know
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