Who wants to get eaten by wolves?

[wolfie]

My money's on "Kayak", due to the "forgot how to spell" bit. Gilhelmi, when the boat in question is being operated by one person, do they use 2 separate "paddles" (actually "oars" - rowboat), one paddle with a blade (goes in the water) at one end and a knob (hand grip) at the other (canoe), or one paddle with a blade at each end (kayak)?

[TheSHAD0W]

I noticed no one answered the question in the topic...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fvQKH1O4Hkw

[Chromatix]

"Kayak" is actually pretty easy to spell, if you approach it phonetically. "Canoe" not so much.

[bbbr]

Every year my 2 young nephews spend a week at my parents cabin in the Adirondack State Park, where, there are bears a plenty. One day the younger one came to realize something after seeing some good sized tracks in the driveway and told my parents that "Bears eat meat. I'M MEAT!!!!". He spent the rest of the week playing in the basement, would NOT leave the house on his own for anything unless fully escorted by everyone present.

[greensinestro]

There's a new #1 threat to America-- PEOPLE WHO FEED BEARS

And unfortunately, people in states like Florida, Georgia, and Louisiana who feed the alligators.

[draggar]

The only rule I would change is don't feed ANY wildlife. More "unprovoked" attacks happen with habituated animals.

But yeah, if you are going to enjoy the outdoors (and I do recommend everyone do this!) at least be prepared for THE OUTDOORS and know how to take care of yourself.

[Gilhelmi]

Canoe, kayak, rowboat. Pick all that apply.

Sadly, canoe is the right answer. (why is there no 'u' in there? 10min on google trying to spell check did me no good)

[HawaiianShirts]

(That was something that happened. Idiot thought the fire was dead, just because they didn't SEE any embers. Stirred it with hand and learned the hard way!)

Yeouch! My dad once tried to teach me a technique of burying the embers in such a way that they were still hot several hours later so that it was easier to start another fire, but it didn't stick in my head. What did stick was the concept that embers can stay hot for a very long time, which means that "never" is usually the right time to stick one's hand in the fire pit.

1. Don't call the park workers to come set up your tent because you don't know how
2. Don't call the park workers to come start a fire for you because you don't know how
3. Ditto your outdoor stove

Seriously? I have a hard enough time getting the attention of the camp host or park staff when all I want is to buy firewood. I'm guessing you witnessed at least some portion of the, "Hey, you work here! Come set up my tent for me!" thing. How did the park staff react?

[Blue Ginger]

My family love the people who buy the really expensive, overly complicated tents that have never camped before.

If they clearly have no idea and ask for help nicely, we help them. Or we just offer them a hand and help them out.

But if they act like a bunch of toss pots, we pull out the chairs, crack open a few drinks and point and laugh.

Have watched 5 people struggle to put up 3 mid-sized (4 people squished size) dome tents for nearly 2 hours. They were the one's that had 3 flexible bars and 2 layers of tent.

It takes me 5-10 minutes to put up a 2-person version of this tent. 5 if the ground is soft, 10 if I actually have to hammer in all the pegs instead of using my foot. Won a lot of free drinks racing a number of other people on a Topdeck trip years ago. And I was doing it on my own, they were in pairs.

[NecessaryCatharsis]

Seriously? I have a hard enough time getting the attention of the camp host or park staff when all I want is to buy firewood. I'm guessing you witnessed at least some portion of the, "Hey, you work here! Come set up my tent for me!" thing. How did the park staff react?

The tent request was by a gaggle of giggling G-string clad girls who were 20 years old tops. They flagged down a passing employee in his truck, and loudly threw themselves on the mercy he showed no signs of possessing. Their neighbours (a group of about 25 year old males) overheard and came to the rescue, so I guess that ended ok.

The fire request was met with complete disdain, and I got to hear the whole thing as the couple was in the adjacent site. First the wife phoned the office and requested someone come 'at 6 to start the fire'. Apparently she didn't like the answer she got because she started yelling that they had bought firewood there, and they expected a fire. The husband decided to start it himself, by holding 1 lit match at a time to the firewood they had purchased. Logs, a foot long with an eight inch diameter. He had apparently not heard of purchasing kindling/shaving and splitting his own logs down to smaller sizes/collecting twigs and things of the floor of the campsite to start a small fire and feed it until it got big enough to burn. When that failed he called staff to explain that there was a problem with the fire pit. When the staff showed up to find no problems with the fire pit and extreme problems with the people camping beside it he very nicely told them to go stuff it.

The people requesting someone come look at the camp stove I was walking past as they were talking to an employee in a park owned truck, so I have no idea how that worked out.

I know the staff there are always happy to help, but that's with things like, where are there trail maps, and from whom can I rent a boat. Camping is kind of famous for it's do it yourself philosophy.

[dalesys]

Lots of chocolate helps when being eaten by bares...

[Ironclad Alibi]

Lots of chocolate helps when being eaten by bares...

Been reading Harry Potter?

[XCashier]

The only rule I would change is don't feed ANY wildlife.

Yes x 1000! Wild animals are just that: wild. This isn't Disneyland with its cute cartoon characters, or a movie set with tamed animals, this is the wilderness with genuine wild animals. Don't feed / pester / pose for photos with the wild animals. They will end you.

That big, shaggy, slow moving wild bison in Yellowstone park? Is a two thousand-pound animal with sharp horns that it will gore you with if you're stupid towards it. That cuddly-looking cub? Mama is nearby, and will be pissed at you for harassing her baby. All wild creatures have either fangs, horns, hooves, claws, stingers, venom, barbs or any combination thereof, they are very formidable weapons and the animals know well how to use them. Don't mess with them.

[Jay 2K Winger]

Yes x 1000! Wild animals are just that: wild. This isn't Disneyland with its cute cartoon characters, or a movie set with tamed animals, this is the wilderness with genuine wild animals. Don't feed / pester / pose for photos with the wild animals. They will end you.

That big, shaggy, slow moving wild bison in Yellowstone park? Is a two thousand-pound animal with sharp horns that it will gore you with if you're stupid towards it. That cuddly-looking cub? Mama is nearby, and will be pissed at you for harassing her baby. All wild creatures have either fangs, horns, hooves, claws, stingers, venom, barbs or any combination thereof, they are very formidable weapons and the animals know well how to use them. Don't mess with them.

This article (Warning: Contains Cracked) should be mandatory reading, to remind idiots that animals may look cute, but they can still @#$% you up.

[Blue Ginger]

All wild creatures have either fangs, horns, hooves, claws, stingers, venom, barbs or any combination thereof, they are very formidable weapons and the animals know well how to use them. Don't mess with them.

I'm from Oz, so I know this well.

Not sure if I've told this before, but when I was about 6 or 7 (early 90's) I saw what happens when someone hugs a wombat. Now I think wombats are adorable, but I also know that they are not pets and they are built like a mini bulldozer with claws.

So parents took us to a wildlife rescue/park where if the animals can be released they are or they are in big open enclosures where you can wander through and interact with them. Big signs in multiple languages saying don't pick them up or chase them. Staff telling you the same thing as you get tickets and enter the park.

We are looking at the animals when a bus load of Japanese (I think) tourists arrive. As soon as they are in the area, one lady starts making a high pitched noise that roughly translates to 'Ohhh so cute' and picks up and hugs a wombat. 2 seconds later the 'Ohhh so cute' noises turn to 'AAARRRGGGHHHHH get it off me!' noises. Cue staff running from everywhere, the rest of the bus load freaking out and most of us in shock.

My parents moved us to another part of the park but not before I saw her arms and legs covered in blood. Don't know how badly she was hurt, but we heard the ambulance not long after.

And that, folks, is why you don't hug the freaking wildlife.