Tavern ham shortage thanks to Irma

[greensinestro]

So, here we were in South Florida, ready for Hurricane Irma to arrive. Everyone was out hoarding their normal supplies of gasoline, water, batteries, etc. My wife went to the local Publix to get a few things at the deli, when she witnessed this altercation:

PDE (Publix Deli Employee): May I help you?

SC (You know who): I'd like a pound of tavern ham.

PDE: I'm sorry, but we ran out about an hour ago.

SC: What???!!! I must have my tavern ham. It'll just cause so many problems at home if I don't get it.

PDE: I'm sorry, maam, but we're out and won't get any more until we reopen.

SC: But I neeeeed it! How can you run out and not have any more?

PDE: Maam, you do realize we have a storm heading here? We won't get any more shipments of anything until we reopen.

SC: This is horrible, you people. I always shop here, and you never run out when I neeeeed it!

PDE: Maam, unless you need something else, you're holding up the line.

SC: I neeeeed my tavern ham! You must have some more back there!

PDE: Next in line please.

It was horrible enough with people evacuating, not to mention the long lines for gasoline, water, propane gas, batteries, and all other essentials. Why would this lady just literally die without her perishable tavern ham?

[Ashaela]

Wow, if we had been in the direct path of a hurricane I would be happy for any kind of ham at all, or any lunch meat, really. Grab a couple of packets of whatever's there and go!

[csquared]

I just don't understand people. It is just tavern ham. Now if it was the Black Forest Ham or Chipotle Chicken...

[Pixelated]

"Look on the bright side, lady: if you do die, you won't have to suffer the lack of your tavern ham anymore."

Kudos to the employee for finally just saying "NEXT!"

[MoonCat]

"Please wait, ma'am. I'll go to the back where we keep the pigs, slaughter one, cure the meat, slice it, and bring it out."

Haha no, just kidding. NEXT!

[apocolypse101]

Forgive me for my ignorance, but what is tavern ham?

[csquared]

Tavern ham is your basic, smoked ham. It gets its name from the fact that it was commonly smoked and served by taverns.

[Monterey Jack]

Was this woman's name Ponyo, by any chance...?

[wordgirl]

SHe probably waited a good long time for that tavern ham to come back, too. I went to the local Megalomart almost a week after Irma and, while they had power, here is a complete listing of what they had in their deli meat/cheese case:

One loaf of grayish-looking ham (more than half gone), a couple kinds of salami-type sausage, and two varieties of swiss cheese. Just in the time I was waiting for some of the cheese, I heard the folllowing (from different customers)
"You don't have any turkey?"
"nope, sorry."
"where is the provolone?"
"we don't have any, sorry."
"are you out of roast beef?"
"it hasn't come yet, sorry."
"What about LOW SODIUM turkey? you have any of that?"
"Sorry. nope."

It's all right there, what they have, people: Lump of sad ham. Two weird sausage things. Two kinds of swiss cheese. That's it. That's what they have. The rest of the case is empty for a reason.

I'm sure the same folks went back to the empty milk cases in back and played the same routiine. "What about 2 percent? What about 1 percent, but in a quart jug instead of a gallon? No?"