The worst thing you've done to customer on the phone

[Amadan]

Reading >dragon_wings' previous number thread<, I was wondering what the worst thing we've done to a SC on the phone.

I'll go first (ignore the b/g if you want),

[BG] I used to work for PCWorld Business (PCWB), part of PCWorld but aimed at businesses. Though the business centres are based in stores the staff are supposed to be separate and not to help consumers.

PCWB has published direct phone lines, unlike PCWorld which has a call centre. So at least once or twice a shift you would get a consumer with an issue wanting to speak to the store not the call centre (thank you saynoto0870.com ), although we could transfer the call to a "store" number there would generally be no one to answer as there weren't that many staff and they were usually "helping" customers.
[/BG]



On occasion I transferred ranty/sucky consumer customers to,

• The non-emergency public switchboard for the local police
• The talking clock
• Comet (PCWorld's main competitor)
• The call centre (but not allowing then to use the keypad to actually chose an option)
• Their own voicemail (required getting customer's phone number "in case we get cut off"

I also once or twice put them on hold and went for my lunch, they never were on the phone when I got back.

As you can probably imagine I hated that job with every fibre of my being (I've yet to meet anyone who actually enjoys working in store for PCWB) and, thankfully, I don't work for the company anymore.

[Slayer]

I work at CardCompany so I don't really have SCs on the phone since I don't get a lot of calls in general. It's mostly from people who want to know where we are in the mall or about a certain product.

But there's this one woman who calls every holiday to ask the exact same questions (for the past 5+ years). At the time, I was busy, so I just offered to check what she wanted to know, put her on hold and then left her there. When I needed to pass a card (runs on same telephone line as calls), I just hung up on her. She did call back and I half-assed apologized, but at least she got the hint.

She still calls, but now she asks if I'm busy *sigh* (which of course the answer will always be yes). 20-30(!) minute calls have now turned into 2-4 minutes so that's a major yes! in my book.

[Rapscallion]

I once had a call with a fairly nice bloke and I was answering his questions about a rep coming to visit him. I was giving him the contact information for the department he needed and ended up with:

"Yes, and he'll be able to come down and kill you."

"..."

"..."

"OMG! Oh Hades! I was reading a news report in the background about a murder! I'm so sorry!"

"ROFL!"

He took it in good stead. As I said, he was a decent chap. Certainly wasn't deliberate.

Rapscallion

[Marmalady]

I have to confess that while working for the council car parks department, I hung up on more than a few people who were enjoying a good scream of abuse at me. I even used to do it while I was speaking so they'd think I'd been cut off rather than them

Yes, I know. My defence is that these calls happened all day, every day. And there'd be a line at the public counter waiting to scream at you in person, too. That's what led to me eventually going sick for several months with depression and anxiety.

[dragon_wings]

One my managers is married to the most annoying hag. She calls like 20 times in a shift. And, say his name is Mike, she'll ask for Michael Smith (not his name) despite him being the only Mike in the store. She's so annoying I can look at him and be like 'The hag is on the phone.' and he won't even blink. Sometimes when trying to put her on hold I'll hang up on her (most of the time accidentally), especially if/when we're busy. She'll just call back anyways... Again and again and again.

[Sparky]

What I wanted to do was pick up the phone, yell "what part of 'we're closed' do you not understand?" and slam it down.

What I actually did was pick it up and just hang up.

Hint: If no one answers an office phone after 30 rings, give up.

[Raveni]

Probably the worst that I have ever done was block their phone number... They always find another phone to call from anyway...

[Akasa]

Told them they were too stupid to own a computer and send it back.

[bhskittykatt]

Sometimes, we'd have people we just knew were dealing out of our rooms, but at the time, management figured money was money no matter who it came from.

So when someone called asking for that room, and I knew it was a "business" call, I'd sometimes just transfer them to an empty room just to f*** with them. When it rang back, I'd say they weren't answering and offer to take a message. Not many people wanted to leave messages

[Squeaksmyalias]

I think the worst I did to a client was when a SC left a voice mail yelling, screaming and calling one of my employees horrible names then threatening to "blog all about this experience!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I called him back and left a voicemail saying "Go head sir, blog all about this. Don't forget to talk about the crude language you used while talking about our employee and the unreasonable demands you made. I'd like to see how that goes make sure you email us a link. Also if you ever call back again ask for me, because you will NEVER be speaking to anyone under me again." The coworker sitting next to me said I sounded deadly and calm, which I'm not surprised since people acting that way to the people I was in charge of did not go over well with me. The SC never blogged, never called back, which is a shame cause I wanted to read what he said.

[AnaKhouri]

Back when I worked at a video rental place, my co-worker "Brandy" was married to a complete loser. They had 3 kids, and he never held a job for more than 2 weeks, so she supported the whole family on crappy retail pay. But then he had 'bipolar disorder' (but refused to take medication for it...I never believed that story), so he just couldn't handle the kids and called her 5-10 times every shift whining about he needed a break and she had to come home.

After a year of this every time he called I just said, "Brandy's busy making money. Man up and go watch your kids."

Shortly after I adopted this approach, I began getting hangups several times a shift when I answered the phone. Hmmm...

[Racket_Man]

What I wanted to do was pick up the phone, yell "what part of 'we're closed' do you not understand?" and slam it down.

What I actually did was pick it up and just hang up.

Hint: If no one answers an office phone after 30 rings, give up.

we get that all the time at my pizza place. since a new place opened up and stays open until 3am, people think ALL pizza places are open til that late in the morning.

I get the same conversaion over and over and over
<phone rings after close and corp wants us to actually answer the phone anyway>
me: <pizza place> I'm sorry we're closed
SC WHAT?>?>????????? YOU'RE CLOSED>>>?>?>?>?>?>?? HOW DARE YOU BE CLOSED. I AM HUNGRY AND I WANT PIZZA
me:<click>

or
me: <pizza place> I'm sorry we're closed
SC: I WANNA order a large pizza
me: <pizza place> I'm sorry we're closed
SC: I WANNAAAANNNNAAAA order a large PIZZA
me : <click>

me: <pizza place> I'm sorry we're closed
SC: how about I give you guys $100 to makie me one pizza????
me: <pizza place> I'm sorry we're closed
SC: ahhhhhhhh come on
me: click

[Ghel]

It hasn't happened in a while, but I revel in being able to do this:

SC: When do you close? (at 4:55)
Me: The lobby closed at 4:30, and the drive-up is open until 5:00.
SC: I'm 10 minutes away, can you stay open until I get there?
Me: No, I'm sorry. Our insurance will not cover us if we stay open late. <and none of our employees want to stay late, either>
SC: Not even 5 minutes?
Me: No. You'll just have to come in tomorrow.
SC: But I work!
Me: We have a night deposit and an ATM.
SC:
Me: Have a good night!

[Teskeria]

Sadly the closest I have come to being 'mean' to a customer on a phone was when a 'man' asked in a meant to be sexy voice "Can I tell you how big it is?". I responded without even thinking "about half an inch?" and hung up. Normally I would have gotten in trouble for that (we were required to hang up without saying anything on obscene calls), but QA had so many laughing fits (male & female) they let it slide.

[DrFaroohk]

When I worked at an auto parts store we had this little jingle we had to answer the phone with, usually changing week to week or so. Like "Hi this is Auto Parts Store how may I go the extra mile for you today?"

They were quite a mouthful and took me some concentration to say sometimes. Well one time a coworker walks up beside me just as I'm starting to say my speech and he whispers in my ear "Thanks for calling autoparts store, I am a douchebag."

Which is exactly what I repeated into the phone. Thankfully the guy on the other end was cool and laughed about it and understood when I explained basically what happened.