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Dear Drunken Disgruntled Customer:
First of all, might I say thank you to you for runing my perfectly decient night? For once, there were no people cussing at me for the menu prices or over their desire for a booth or a table. However, that all changed upon you and your pary of nine's materialization at the front door.
Could you not see that the entire restuarant was packed? Could you also miss the dirty tables covered in dirty napkins and filthy plates from a previous party of 11? Oh my dear friend, you overlooked it quite easily. You also managed to overlook the part where there was one of me (hostess) on the floor and only one server on the floor to take care of 40+ guests at once.
However, you felt it was your right to interrupt me, while taking care of a customer who was on their way out, with your filthy mouth. I could obviously see that there was a line forming at the door. Thanks. It doesn't take a genius to spot the signs of a late night crowd. However, it does take time to seat that many of you. Your rude comment of "Why are you taking care of those people first? We've been here forever waiting for your lazy ass to come and take care of us!!!!" doesn't inspire me to rush to your aide. Nor does your incessant badgering over the five minutes it takes me to clear out the line at the till.
Every time you repeated, "are you going to SEAT us!?!?" and I had to look into your bloodshot eyes, I internally added an extra five minutes to torture you. Unfortuantely, it didn't work out that way in real life.
Can I just say, oh my drunken jerkface, that your hovering didn't help anything? I had about twenty plates and spilled syrup to clean up off the table. I'm sorry I couldn't do it at mock speed in order to appease you. Really, I wish I could have kicked your sorry butt out of the Restuarant for talking to me the way you did. Nobody calls me lazy. Nobody. And how dare you, a complete stranger with your stupid posse of fellow drunken hicks and spoiled children, tell me that I am.
Likewise, you jerk, if you EVER hover over me while I am cleaning a table again, I will insure that you help me. Or eat the rag full of bleachy water and the last kid's chewed up food he decided to leave as a gift for me.
Finally I told you to sit down, when really I wanted to kick your sorry butt out of the place. It was against my better judgement that I gave you menus....and against my better judgement that I stood there and endured more of your rude commentary about me like a true professional.
Simply put: people like you are why I hate my job.
How dare you cuss me out in front of your five year old child, telling me that I should have brought you all menus faster/sat you faster/how you waited forever/blah blah blah. Way to set an example for your kid. The worst part is that you are breeding more crappy members of society like yourself. I am ashamed, because people like you exemplify stereotypes that are usually and mostly untrue. It is insulting to the rest of us who don't judge you based on race. I am judging you on behavior, and your behavior is horrific.
Thank everything holy you didn't ask for a beer, because then I would have to call you out on your drunkenness. Wait...then I could have thrown you out. And as your visit progressed, I would have loved to toss you ass first out the door. Don't you dare treat me or my coworkers like crap. We hate people like you.
I was never more happy to see a table go. But I have your name. And I know who you are. If I ever see you again, you're going to get tossed out that door so fast it will make your head spin. And nobody is going to miss you and your horrible behavior.
Oh Drunken Jerkface, please go rot in your stinky beer-infested pit by yourself. Just don't reproduce again. And stop teaching your kid how to become a loser like yourself. And, by the way: go straight to hell. Although, I wouldn't be surprised if you got there and complained because you had to wait an extra five minutes just to get in.
First of all, might I say thank you to you for runing my perfectly decient night? For once, there were no people cussing at me for the menu prices or over their desire for a booth or a table. However, that all changed upon you and your pary of nine's materialization at the front door.
Could you not see that the entire restuarant was packed? Could you also miss the dirty tables covered in dirty napkins and filthy plates from a previous party of 11? Oh my dear friend, you overlooked it quite easily. You also managed to overlook the part where there was one of me (hostess) on the floor and only one server on the floor to take care of 40+ guests at once.
However, you felt it was your right to interrupt me, while taking care of a customer who was on their way out, with your filthy mouth. I could obviously see that there was a line forming at the door. Thanks. It doesn't take a genius to spot the signs of a late night crowd. However, it does take time to seat that many of you. Your rude comment of "Why are you taking care of those people first? We've been here forever waiting for your lazy ass to come and take care of us!!!!" doesn't inspire me to rush to your aide. Nor does your incessant badgering over the five minutes it takes me to clear out the line at the till.
Every time you repeated, "are you going to SEAT us!?!?" and I had to look into your bloodshot eyes, I internally added an extra five minutes to torture you. Unfortuantely, it didn't work out that way in real life.
Can I just say, oh my drunken jerkface, that your hovering didn't help anything? I had about twenty plates and spilled syrup to clean up off the table. I'm sorry I couldn't do it at mock speed in order to appease you. Really, I wish I could have kicked your sorry butt out of the Restuarant for talking to me the way you did. Nobody calls me lazy. Nobody. And how dare you, a complete stranger with your stupid posse of fellow drunken hicks and spoiled children, tell me that I am.
Likewise, you jerk, if you EVER hover over me while I am cleaning a table again, I will insure that you help me. Or eat the rag full of bleachy water and the last kid's chewed up food he decided to leave as a gift for me.
Finally I told you to sit down, when really I wanted to kick your sorry butt out of the place. It was against my better judgement that I gave you menus....and against my better judgement that I stood there and endured more of your rude commentary about me like a true professional.
Simply put: people like you are why I hate my job.
How dare you cuss me out in front of your five year old child, telling me that I should have brought you all menus faster/sat you faster/how you waited forever/blah blah blah. Way to set an example for your kid. The worst part is that you are breeding more crappy members of society like yourself. I am ashamed, because people like you exemplify stereotypes that are usually and mostly untrue. It is insulting to the rest of us who don't judge you based on race. I am judging you on behavior, and your behavior is horrific.
Thank everything holy you didn't ask for a beer, because then I would have to call you out on your drunkenness. Wait...then I could have thrown you out. And as your visit progressed, I would have loved to toss you ass first out the door. Don't you dare treat me or my coworkers like crap. We hate people like you.
I was never more happy to see a table go. But I have your name. And I know who you are. If I ever see you again, you're going to get tossed out that door so fast it will make your head spin. And nobody is going to miss you and your horrible behavior.
Oh Drunken Jerkface, please go rot in your stinky beer-infested pit by yourself. Just don't reproduce again. And stop teaching your kid how to become a loser like yourself. And, by the way: go straight to hell. Although, I wouldn't be surprised if you got there and complained because you had to wait an extra five minutes just to get in.
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