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I'm getting divorced.....Long very long

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  • I'm getting divorced.....Long very long

    So where to begin.... So my soon to be ex husband lost his father, then about a month later he hurt his back falling off a latter at work. And then about a month after that he lost his job. All the trouble started when he hurt his back and he was prescribed lowertabs. About after 3 days of taking these pills he started acting weird, I mean psycho weird. I woke up about 3 am to go to the rest room and he was pacing and saying that he was going to take his dads place and his dad was coming back. And when I tried to call 911 he started beating me. Punching, kicking and throwing me around, I finally got to call 911 and he was took to the hospital. He was put in the psychatic ward for about 5-6 days.
    I decided to stay with him(even after him beating me) cause after talking to the doctor, cause they said that he had a reaction to the pills and he had a nervous breakdown. He had not dealt with his fathers death, and then the job lost. Well I was willing to go to work and let him "heal" and recover. I was willing to let him never work again if needed. He came home from the hospital and everything was fine for about 5 days. He started acting weird again and this time it got worse. He started saying I was a demon and he locked me in the bathroom and wouldnt let me out. I couldnt call for help this time cause he had broken my phone. He had left my mom 10 messages saying I was a demon and he needed to take care of me( he was going to kill me) and she rushed up and broke in and came to rescue me. I called 911 and he was took to the hospital again and put in the psych ward again. This time it was for 2 weeks.
    I again was willing to give it another go. He got out of the hospital and he didnt want me around this time. He torn everything off the walls and torn up all of our wedding photos. He and his sister put everything I owe in trash bags and threw it in my parents driveway. And to top it all off his sister stole more then half of my stuff. And when confronted he and his sister said yes we did take ur stuff. You're a spoiled bitch that never apperciated anything u had.
    So I went to the police and had to file a police report when resulted in me only getting about half of my stuff back. So his sister and his mother told me to stay the fuck away from him and leave him alone. I got a phone call one day from his sister that my ex hubby was walking down the street with a sword saying that he needed to protect himself from the demons. She refused to call 911 so I did. The result the police said that he was "normal" when they got there and there was nothing they could do. Over the next few months I proceeded to call 911 on him begging for help and no one would help me . I should metion that my ex hubby was at our house by himself and his mom and sister wouldnt take him home with them.
    The final insanity was for about a few weeks my ex hubby would show up at my parents home in the middle of the night. He would be screaming that hes a number 10 and his mom is a number 23. I called the police everytime and everytime they were too late and they claimed they couldnt do anything cause he was no longer on the property. Well to make a very long story short. I finally told his sister they were going to have to take him in their home and get him out of our home so I could give it back to the landlord. I guess the final straw was he had threaten to kill his sister and then she decided to I was right he needed to be locked up for a long time.
    The kicker of this story.. while he was in the hospital the second time I recieved mail that was from his job stating that he was "let go" of his job cause he had been stealing spools of copper wire and selling it for about 6 months. WTF I knew nothing about this.
    So He has been in and out of the hospital a total of 4 times. And they are saying he had a nervous breakdown. He is doing alright now, hes on a lot of meds and is living with his mom. He denies everything he did and says its all my fault. He His mom and sister say its my fault too and Im a whore and a bitch. So yeah Im getting divorced, between the beating, mental abuse and stealing I just cant do it. When I had came to live with my mom this crap had took a big effect on me. I had lost 20 pounds and I couldnt keep anything down for weeks and my hair had started falling out. I had severe nightmares for weeks I was a complete mess, but Im doing better now. Since its got around work that Im divorcing Ive been asked out by 4 different guys, Ive declined of course

  • #2
    I'm so sorry all this is happening. I'm wondering if his condition is permanent or temporary. Maybe there was an underlying mental illness? I guess what I'm trying to say is that I hope there's a way he can get better or properly medicated and you two can work things out. My heart just breaks for you.
    "Is it hot in here to you? It's very warm, isn't it?"--Nero, probably

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    • #3
      Quoth Food Lady View Post
      I'm so sorry all this is happening. I'm wondering if his condition is permanent or temporary. Maybe there was an underlying mental illness? I guess what I'm trying to say is that I hope there's a way he can get better or properly medicated and you two can work things out. My heart just breaks for you.
      From what the doctor says I will probadly never see the old hubby again(personailty) wise. He is okay now but he is no where near the man I married. I think he had the mental problems for a while. Looking back, he was always anti social and weird. But I always thought oh thats just him.

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      • #4
        Quoth candyshopgirl View Post
        Since its got around work that Im divorcing Ive been asked out by 4 different guys, Ive declined of course
        What idiots. Any decent man should know to give a woman going through a divorce some time and some space. Even if I was interested in you, I'd try for nothing more than a friendship right now (even if one already existed).
        "If we refund your money, give you a free replacement and shoot the manager, then will you be happy?" - sign seen in a restaurant

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        • #5
          I am very sorry that you had to put up with that. If you ever want someone to talk to please feel free to pm me.

          Your male coworkers are really insensitive, his side of the bed isn't even cold yet and they are asking.
          http://www.customerssuck.com/?m=20080203

          My destiny is not pretty, but it's what my cutie mark is telling me.

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          • #6
            I'm so sorry you have had to go through this.

            I'm glad you're looking out for yourself right now.

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            • #7
              I'd call the cops on SIL and demand my stuff back. That bitch stole from you.

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              • #8
                You did quite correctly in seeking medical assistance for him. I also think it's medical - a combination of paranoia and delusions, from what you're describing.

                The fact that he is a danger to others means that he should be being held in a secure psychiatric facility. He should have had a brain scan, as well - my instincts are saying to rule out a tumour.


                I am impressed that you chose to stay and give him support, and tried to seek medical help. I wish the system had given you the support you need while you did so.


                I don't think this is your failure. This is a failure in the medical and protective systems. I'm very sorry it happened to you, and to him.


                I'm also afraid that without sufficient medical help, you're right. Your old hubby won't come back.
                With the right medical assistance, and depending on what, exactly, is wrong ... he may be able to be back. For both of your sake, I hope this is what happens.
                Seshat's self-help guide:
                1. Would you rather be right, or get the result you want?
                2. If you're consistently getting results you don't want, change what you do.
                3. Deal with the situation you have now, however it occurred.
                4. Accept the consequences of your decisions.

                "All I want is a pretty girl, a decent meal, and the right to shoot lightning at fools." - Anders, Dragon Age.

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                • #9
                  I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. You know we're here if you need someone to talk to.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    You did the right thing in getting soon-to-be ex-husband help. Seshat may be right on him having either a tumor or some sort of underlying mental illness. It's sad that it went down so badly but the divorce would be for the best.
                    I don't get paid enough to kiss your a**! -Groezig 5/31/08
                    Another day...another million braincells lost...-Sarlon 6/16/08
                    Chivalry is not dead. It's just direly underappreciated. -Samaliel 9/15/09

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                    • #11
                      Quoth Seshat View Post
                      I don't think this is your failure. This is a failure in the medical and protective systems. I'm very sorry it happened to you, and to him.
                      Seshat is right about that. It's the marriage that has failed here not you.
                      Quoth tropicsgoddess View Post
                      You did the right thing in getting soon-to-be ex-husband help... It's sad that it went down so badly but the divorce would be for the best.
                      TG has a point. Your survival instincts are spot on here. You were in an abusive situation and his family wasn't exactly helping.

                      Mrs. TGK would offer this advice:
                      Whatever you do, don't neglect your own health and finances:
                      Start some kind of exercise regimen.
                      Get your personal financial house in order.
                      If your ex2B is an authorized user on any of your credit cards, get him removed. Vice-versa so that he will have a harder time sticking you with those kinds of debts (Do you live in a community-property state?). Get him removed from vehicle titles, otherwise he'll be able to make off with your car and the authorities will be powerless to stop him. Get your credit file and verify that you are not a co-borrower for whatever debts he was stealing copper to keep up with. Put a fraud alert on your credit file in any case. Obtain your old joint tax returns (tell me that was not included in your SIL's pillaging).

                      You are going through a difficult time and trashing your own health will not help. Yes, you may PM me with any question, tax or otherwise. GOOD LUCK.
                      I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my keister!

                      Who is John Galt?
                      -Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

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                      • #12
                        Sounds like sudden-onset schizophrenia. People don't "recover" from that. With meds, they may be able function and even hold down jobs, but they'll never not be schizophrenic.
                        Don't wanna; not gonna.

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                        • #13
                          Holy moly! I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that. I can't even imagine that. Just...wow. Is there any way for you to get the rest of your stuff back? That's so weird that the sister went back to blaming you even after your ex-hubby threatened her and everything. That whole family sounds...interesting. I'm glad you're doing better though, and I'm glad that you're getting away from that. You don't need that kind of stress.

                          As for your male co-workers...that's really not cool of them. They need some sense knocked into them.

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                          • #14
                            Quoth 42_42_42
                            Sounds like sudden-onset schizophrenia. People don't "recover" from that. With meds, they may be able function and even hold down jobs, but they'll never not be schizophrenic.
                            This was my thought.

                            Sorry you had to go through all this! You are a very strong person for surviving. Use that strength to your advantage.
                            If you need someone to talk to send me a message.
                            Driver Picks the Music, Shotgun Shuts His Cakehole.
                            Supernatural 9-13-05 to forever

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                            • #15
                              Holy Cr*p!

                              DO NOT feel guilty. You went far above & beyond what I - and probably most others - would have done.

                              And as for those who hope you two can get back together someday (Really? After all that?!) ... sometimes it's best to say goodbye and move on.

                              You need to move on from his entire family!

                              Best Wishes.

                              Keep us updated!

                              - Palsgraf

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