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Quit ******* pushing me

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  • #16
    Oh, that I owe X amount and I have to pay by X date or I have to pay interest on the due amount.

    I'm selling quite a few pieces of furniture, since I'm downsizing in my living space. I have the items listed online, and a few nibbles have tugged at the line.

    The most amazing thing happened, though. I made a new friend - another gay man - and he was EXACTLY the right person I needed to meet at EXACTLY the right time. I didn't even know him five days ago, and now he wants to come back in the summer so we can spend more time together! I spilled my guts to him about the situation, and he told me about a terrible time in his life when everything went wrong, and he was on the verge of suicide. He got through it, and now he's working in a job he loves, with a lot of time to travel, and he loves life in general.

    So, I feel better; I just wish these up-and-down moods would come to an end. I'm tired of being out of whack with my life. I'm moving ahead, and concentrating as much as I can on making a better life for myself. When a setback like this comes, it's hard to deal.

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    • #17
      *hugs* It may be hard but it looks like you are dealing. Remember we're all here for you. I hope that being forced to move out of your current home turns out to be a blessing in disguise for you.
      Question authority, but raise your hand first. -Alan M. Bershowitz

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      • #18
        A friend did a tarot reading and told me that things can only get better from here. The cards also said that there is a spirit in this house that wants me out. That explains a lot. A number of bad things have happened to me since I moved here, and though much of it can't be chalked up to the supernatural, too many things have happened for me to just shrug it off.

        Anyway, the general message is that I shouldn't go home just yet, but that in the longer-term future, it's an excellent idea. And that I will achieve my goals, which is a huge help.

        Leaving this place behind is the first and most important thing on the list.

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        • #19
          You know what, it sounds to me like there's a spirit that's looking out for you, too, and sending you some help now and then, such as friends like this new guy. You're stronger than you think. I know sometimes a lot of crap hits all at once and you feel overwhelmed. I don't mean to suggest that the pain isn't real...I know it is. But you will come through.
          When you start at zero, everything's progress.

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          • #20
            Maybe it's my mom. I've been in contact with a woman who works with those whose loved ones have passed on, and she said Mom is worried about me. One of the things that has been so hard is that I haven't seen or felt or dreamed about Mom. Well, I have dreamed about her, but they were all dreams of her as she was in life, not as she must be now. I haven't had any dreams where she was happy and healthy.

            There are certainly enough good spirits out there; so many have left this plane in the past few years. Sometimes, I can be happy that they aren't suffering now. Sometimes, I'm depressed that they're not here.

            I can see my hometown with far greater clarity these days - I can smell the air, look at the buildings, hear the sounds. I don't know why I've stayed away so long. I finally realized that even having all the money I want to have just wouldn't be enough to make me stay where I am now. With all the money I want to have, I could live anywhere I wanted to live, and this is not the place.

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