Gym Grunting is Annoying

[fireheart]

Since this is going in that direction, I'll make a comment about bathrooms. In Japan they often had white noise machines in public restrooms. It was awesome. I don't really have a shy bladder, but traveling throws my digestion off so I did appreciate this.

They do that because in Japan, women don't want to be heard taking a crap, so they'll flush the toilet repeatedly to cover up the sound of them taking a dump. (at least that's what I've HEARD) I don't know about men.

It's kind of saying something actually, that in the restrooms in my local mall, there are signs up in the women's toilets basically depicting a woman squatting over a western toilet with the universal "NO" symbol over it. Then again, my area has a higher number of Chinese residents. (going further southwest shifts it over to a heavily Muslim-populated area)

[bhskittykatt]

Regarding groaning in bathrooms, I was thankful for it once. I was at a mall, and was hit with a sudden bout of intestinal distress. I knew it was going to be audible coming out...it was just that kind of thing.

So I ducked into the restroom, which was of course packed. And I was about to feel sooooo embarrassed.

But then...someone in the stall across from me was having worse issues than I. They were exorcising demons from their bowels, and they were being very verbal about it. Their noise covered up my own shame. I never thought I would want to thank an anonymous bathroom grunter, but that day I silently did.

[Monterey Jack]

I first read that as 'constipation for a year and a half'.

It sure felt that way at the time...I don't think I have ever been in worse physical discomfort in my life.

[Shalom]

My mother-in-law, who lives in a heavily Orthodox Jewish town (not the one I work in, hers is "Lithuanian" rather than Hasidic) used to manage a women's-only gym from one of the C-franchises. She got the whole Orthodox crowd, because the modesty rules in our communities don't let a woman wear typical workout gear (especially pants) where a non-related male could see them.

(My sister when in college was required to take some sort of P.E. She chose fencing, because that was the only one she could do in a long skirt. Me, I just took Human Physiology and got my PE requirement that way. I suck at athletics.)

[Geek King]

But then...someone in the stall across from me was having worse issues than I. They were exorcising demons from their bowels, and they were being very verbal about it. Their noise covered up my own shame.

You made me think of this:

[Argabarga]

Gym Grunts are the mating call of The Bros

And while they're inside making it sound like they've got the mother of all cases of constipation, I'll be outside towing away that Hummer H2 of theirs for being in a fire lane, have fun!

[Salted Grump]

On topic with the various bowel-related stories in this thread, which reminded me of a story a friend related to me about her experience with stress-eating a kilo bag of prunes before being stuck in a medical telemetry closet to keep track of all the various lines that go 'ping'.

I stress-ate a bag of prunes yesterday and now I have unrighteous putrid death farts. Tonight I'm in the telemetry closet, assisting the tele tech at beep watching, and the charge nurse of the unit outside the closet is insisting that we keep the door closed 'for fire safety' as the open door protrudes three inches into the walkway.

The things I am farting would be considered excessive by the Ferguson police. I just watched my coworker pull out his phone, open an old conversation with his eight-year-old daughter, and text her: "I love you baby, always remember." This closet smells like a family of turds in a hot tub.

I can't even blame a patient. This is my own fault. I am a beast of squalor, born to shame.

I'm not allowed to step out! I've just bundled up a bunch of blankets and I'm farting into them like I'm stink-basting a cotton turkey. When they drop this pile of laundry in the washer it will emit Cherenkov blue. Hopefully this will preserve us both from ass-inflicted inhalation burns.

Opened the tele closet door. Charge nurse sitting with her back to the closet.

Waited.

Ten seconds later the charge nurse pipes up: "Did you forget to cluuuuuunnngghhh *hic*"

Gently I place the defiled blanket on the floor outside the closet, as if abandoning a baby. Gently I close the door, noting with satisfaction how the charge nurse's shoulders shake, how my seeping emissions have robbed her of voice and will.

The other tele tech won't look at me.

[Mr Hero]

After my fiasco with my previous gym, which scammed me (my bank's intellect won against it's brawn, BTW--score one for the good guys)

Did you ever post this story because I kinda want to read it.

[notalwaysright]

They do that because in Japan, women don't want to be heard taking a crap, so they'll flush the toilet repeatedly to cover up the sound of them taking a dump. (at least that's what I've HEARD) I don't know about men.

It's kind of saying something actually, that in the restrooms in my local mall, there are signs up in the women's toilets basically depicting a woman squatting over a western toilet with the universal "NO" symbol over it. Then again, my area has a higher number of Chinese residents. (going further southwest shifts it over to a heavily Muslim-populated area)

I know someone who has such a shy bladder that she cannot urinate in a quite restroom. She will flush the toilet until she can go. It can be really horrible for her. Sound-makers in restrooms would literally improve her life. She'll hold it, and ends up with UTIs.

I've said it before but, I liked the squatting toilets in the East. It was more comfortable in ways I won't torment you with. No, I'd never try that on a Western toilet, and I don't know if I'd need a sign to tell me.

[fireheart]

I know someone who has such a shy bladder that she cannot urinate in a quite restroom. She will flush the toilet until she can go. It can be really horrible for her. Sound-makers in restrooms would literally improve her life. She'll hold it, and ends up with UTIs.

I've said it before but, I liked the squatting toilets in the East. It was more comfortable in ways I won't torment you with. No, I'd never try that on a Western toilet, and I don't know if I'd need a sign to tell me.

Apparently there are a number of health benefits associated with squat toilets as well. Such as improved pelvic strength in women and more knee flexibility.

My partner hates using public toilets, but will use them as a last resort.

[otakuneko]

Be glad those noises were only because of the rowing machines....

My friend has an mp3 of a comedy skit: "Are these people working out, or having sex?"

[Kaylyn]

I'm only aware of two gym franchises that do this: Curves and Contours, both of which run on a similar concept. A few other gyms will run womens-only classes, have womens-only sections or have a women-only branch with co-ed branches available elsewhere.

The gym I'm a member of (and haven't been to since I broke my toe and subsequently got lazy, but hubs still goes to regularly) had a women's room last time I was there. But apparently they think women just want to do treadmills and stairclimbers and not lift anything greater than five pounds. I went in there on my first visit and didn't like it because I wanted, y'know, actual lifting in my routine that would actually get me somewhere in a reasonable amount of time.

[fma_fanatic]

Okay, two words - Planet Fitness.

We've been here since April and haven't had an issue. DaDairyDruid and I just want to go in, get our workout done and go. No hassle from personal trainers to sign up and be told that a personal training program will cost more than a house payment. No having to wait forever for exercise equipment because there are literally three times as many machines as the last gym we were with. And the price is reasonable - $10 less than the last gym.

Oh, and massage chairs and hydro massage beds (with the black card). Very nice.

I'm just putting out our experiences with this gym. This is in no way a plug or anything.

[Argabarga]

I can't remember who said it, but someone I heard on the radio once had a rant about the modern chain mega-gym that was quite funny. The best part was when he compared trying to quit a gym to trying to break up with a clingy girlfriend.

"You tell them it's over, and they ask if you'd like to sit down and talk about it. No, I don't want to talk about it! It's not working out! I'm never here, I don't want to be here, I think it's over! Well, just go home and think about it for a while, and call me....." :P

[Jay 2K Winger]

I can't remember who said it, but someone I heard on the radio once had a rant about the modern chain mega-gym that was quite funny. The best part was when he compared trying to quit a gym to trying to break up with a clingy girlfriend.

"You tell them it's over, and they ask if you'd like to sit down and talk about it. No, I don't want to talk about it! It's not working out! I'm never here, I don't want to be here, I think it's over! Well, just go home and think about it for a while, and call me....." :P

There was an episode of Friends that had that as a subplot. Chandler tried to quit his gym, but every time he went in with that intention, the gym would send over a manager to talk to him-- always a pretty woman, which completely threw Chandler off and ended up getting him to sign up for a premium membership or something. Then Ross went with him for solidarity, but got roped into signing up as well. So then they decided to cut off the gym by closing their bank accounts, so the gym wouldn't take any more of their money.

...and then the bank sent over a pretty woman manager to discuss the closing of their accounts...