How do I let something go?

[JPD]

One of my husbands relatives stopped by earlier today, asking to borrow a few dollars (didn't say why, but most likely for beer). I told him no and closed the door, his response was a swear with a lot of f words, but nothing personal, I could deal. I locked the door and walked away.

It was after that he started knocking on the door again. I didn't open it, but communicated through the door. I told him to leave. His response was to ask if he could take any of the empty bottles/cans I had (stored in a bucket in the entryway). I said no, and asked him to leave.

His response was to say F**k Y** you fat ugly twisted eye bitch.

I know he was just an alcoholic mad that he couldn't get more, but why does it hurt so much. I've spent a good portion of the rest of the day crying.

How do I let it go and forget it?

[Deserted]

I can't help with how you feel -- I empathize, but I can't advise -- but make sure you inform your husband how his relative treated you.

[CyberLurch]

How do I let it go and forget it?

It's easy. Just remember his life is a smoking ruin because he allowed alcohol to take over. The fact that he's trying to bum money and so forth is proof of this. And odds are real good that if you'd given him money, you'd have never seen it again - and worse, he'd be back for more because he'd recognize you as a 'soft touch'.

You are still in control of your life, he has no control over his, and the only thing he can do now is to scream and rant - and that's just water off a duck's ass.

It's sad that he's an alcoholic, I'll agree. But that is, and will continue to be, HIS problem until he makes the effort to kick the habit. Don't be an enabler, and don't let him drag you down with him (because he will if you let him).

[taxguykarl]

CyberLurch is spot on here. Don't forget to mention that to your spouse before the relative goes around badmouthing you.
Is this the first time he tried to bum money from you? Does the rest of the family know about these antics? If so, what do they think of the situation?
I have the nagging suspicion that he came to you because his previous enabler(s?) wised up and cut him off.

[CyberLurch]

Don't forget to mention that to your spouse before the relative goes around badmouthing you.

snip 8<------------------------------

I have the nagging suspicion that he came to you because his previous enabler(s?) wised up and cut him off.

Yes, I should have mentioned all that. Sometimes my mind ain't where it should be. Thank you for filling in what I missed.