Quick etiquette question

[Pixelated]

How does one respond to sympathy cards (got some from various cousins after Mom died)? Or is one expected to respond at all?

[EricKei]

To the best of my knowledge:

If you got a ton -- Acknowledge the ones that actually put some effort into it (e.g., a handwritten note) by sending them a brief, 1 or 2 sentence note in return (e.g. "Thank you for bringing us comfort in our time of need" etc) and sign it. For generic cards with just a sig, not so much. If someone really went out of their way (a proper letter with a pleasant anecdote about the deceased, etc), go a little further -- mention the story and how it helped, maybe another line or two.

If you only got a handful -- Might as well answer them all, as above.

Some places say to answer them all, some say there's no need to answer, period....I prefer the happy medium: Answer those who made an effort.

[OneMoreTime]

I know when I send someone a sympathy card, I certainly don't expect a response. I feel they have enough on their plate already without trying to respond to sympathy cards. If you want to, that's fine, but I don't think most people expect it.

[Slayer]

I've never received thank you cards nor did we send out any either. If someone went above and beyond, I can see why you would want to but not for sending a card IMO.

[AccountingDrone]

My 'package' from the funeral home for my Dad, Mom and Brother included the guest book, a bunch of prayer cards and about 100 thank you cards that were mourning appropriate. I did have to ask for additional cards for my Dad - we had several *hundred* sympathy cards for him, and about 15 flower arrangements and 40ish donations to various causes. They all got a card in return [I did Mom's signature as well as she did =) ] 100 thank you cards was enough for Mom and about 90 for my brother. [as I remember I also got 10 death certificate 'originals' for each of them to deal with notifications. ]

After arranging 3 funerals, I could probably be a 'funeral planner' - though I have been a 'wedding enforcer' a couple times as well. They are not as different as one would think - a pre-ceremony, a ceremony and a post ceremony party ... with flowers, music and clothing to be chosen.

[Pixelated]

Thanks, all. There were fewer than half a dozen cards -- and they were all from relatives who in all likelihood won't make it to the memorial service -- so I will fish through my extensive card collection and send brief notes back to them.