So, my husband and I are friends with a couple, I'll call them John and Jane.
John is a pretty goofy guy and is on the Autistic spectrum (not sure if high functioning or Aspie), but he's able to function fairly normally as far as holding down a job and paying bills and taxes and that sort of thing and would make an ok dad if he were married to the right kind of woman.
Unfortunately, Jane is NOT that woman. Jane is bipolar and has brain damage from a car accident that is so bad that she is unable to learn new things (concepts and skills) and as such cannot hold a job and is on social security disability.
On top of this, they are the worst housekeepers I have ever seen short of some of the people I've seen on Hoarders. They once had a cat that had something wrong with it and the cat would piss all over the house, but they didn't do anything to get the cat's problem fixed or to clean up the piss. The fumes from the ammonia were so bad they'd knock you over at the front door. Not long after we discovered that (and stopped going over to their home), John got a heart infection and was hospitalized to get IV antibiotics. He recovered, but it was discovered he got sick from how filthy their home was. They either don't know or can't be bothered to do the basics to keep a home clean. We won't eat anything they have prepared at their home nor any food they've had in their home unless it's still sealed in the original factory packaging. It's that bad. They once had to pay to have a new air conditioner installed because they never changed the air filter (they didn't know you were supposed to). This is just to give you a basic idea of how they live.
It has come to our attention that this couple are now trying to have a baby. I don't know if they are trying to conceive (since she's not supposed to conceive on her bipolar med cocktail but isn't supposed to go off of her meds, either) or to adopt.
If they try to adopt, I'm sure they'll ask us to be a reference and I can tell the agent in charge of background checks my concerns and that will most likely put an end to that.
But, if they are trying to conceive, is there anything I can do to intervene?
I am 100% convinced that this couple should NEVER have children.
Besides from the condition of their home, they don't have any common sense when it comes to children (like watching a toddler put something sharp it found on the floor in it's mouth isn't something that you find cute and sit there and just watch and be amused by). I am honestly convinced that should they have a baby they will end up causing it severe physical harm or even killing it, accidentally or through ignorance, or through neglect, or through shaken-baby syndrome.
They cannot afford daycare, but Jane is convinced that that is where the baby will be most of the time, even though she is always at home (she is rather delusional when it comes to a LOT of things, she doesn't really "live" in reality).
My husband says it's not our choice and I should stay out of it. This is weighing very heavily on me.
Advice? Thoughts?
John is a pretty goofy guy and is on the Autistic spectrum (not sure if high functioning or Aspie), but he's able to function fairly normally as far as holding down a job and paying bills and taxes and that sort of thing and would make an ok dad if he were married to the right kind of woman.
Unfortunately, Jane is NOT that woman. Jane is bipolar and has brain damage from a car accident that is so bad that she is unable to learn new things (concepts and skills) and as such cannot hold a job and is on social security disability.
On top of this, they are the worst housekeepers I have ever seen short of some of the people I've seen on Hoarders. They once had a cat that had something wrong with it and the cat would piss all over the house, but they didn't do anything to get the cat's problem fixed or to clean up the piss. The fumes from the ammonia were so bad they'd knock you over at the front door. Not long after we discovered that (and stopped going over to their home), John got a heart infection and was hospitalized to get IV antibiotics. He recovered, but it was discovered he got sick from how filthy their home was. They either don't know or can't be bothered to do the basics to keep a home clean. We won't eat anything they have prepared at their home nor any food they've had in their home unless it's still sealed in the original factory packaging. It's that bad. They once had to pay to have a new air conditioner installed because they never changed the air filter (they didn't know you were supposed to). This is just to give you a basic idea of how they live.
It has come to our attention that this couple are now trying to have a baby. I don't know if they are trying to conceive (since she's not supposed to conceive on her bipolar med cocktail but isn't supposed to go off of her meds, either) or to adopt.
If they try to adopt, I'm sure they'll ask us to be a reference and I can tell the agent in charge of background checks my concerns and that will most likely put an end to that.
But, if they are trying to conceive, is there anything I can do to intervene?
I am 100% convinced that this couple should NEVER have children.
Besides from the condition of their home, they don't have any common sense when it comes to children (like watching a toddler put something sharp it found on the floor in it's mouth isn't something that you find cute and sit there and just watch and be amused by). I am honestly convinced that should they have a baby they will end up causing it severe physical harm or even killing it, accidentally or through ignorance, or through neglect, or through shaken-baby syndrome.
They cannot afford daycare, but Jane is convinced that that is where the baby will be most of the time, even though she is always at home (she is rather delusional when it comes to a LOT of things, she doesn't really "live" in reality).
My husband says it's not our choice and I should stay out of it. This is weighing very heavily on me.
Advice? Thoughts?
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