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Preface:
For every human body type and build, there's someone who loves it.
Even people with severe scarring or deformity lose out on the shallow people, not the worthwhile ones. Once you get to know a person, scarring or deformity become unimportant. (Well, that's true for me, anyway.)
Your genetic (or bad luck) heritage will affect your pool of potential partners, sure, but it doesn't block you from finding love.
With that said, let's get going...
1. Improve your general health.
No, I don't mean become a fitness fanatic. But you're generally more attractive when you've seen a dentist recently, are doing body-appropriate exercise, are eating a good mix of foods, and if your doctor knows what your blood pressure is.
Basically, you give off a subconscious aura of body confidence.
Plus when you're healthy, your pheromones signal that. Even if you're not fully healthy, better health means better pheromones.
For those with chronic illness, work on it. Become as functional and as healthy as your body lets you be, without going so overboard on it that the illness becomes your life.
2. Groom.
Once again, not excessive. Unless that's your thing. But your teeth should be brushed and flossed, your body washed, your hair neat and tidy (or intentionally messy).
Your cuticles should not be ripping holes in your skin, your heels shouldn't be cracking through to flesh, your gums shouldn't be red and inflamed.
Paint your nails black if you want to, but keep them trimmed and filed. Your potential partner is going to be imagining those hands on their body, and even the masochists would prefer controlled nail gouging!
A well groomed body is MUCH more attractive than a poorly groomed one, and makes you a much better prospect.
3. Maintain your wardrobe.
Never leave the house in damaged clothing. (Even for gardening or factory work - stained is fine for that, but damaged can get caught in machinery.)
Where was I? Oh yes.
Never leave the house in damaged clothing. Mend rips, sew on buttons, replace broken zips, patch holes. If your personal style is the "torn" look, repair any unintentional damage.
Relegate stained garments to house clothes or gardening clothes, or to the 'patching fabric' pile.
Consider this part of being well groomed.
4. Get your head in order.
Think about who YOU are. Admittedly, this investigation can take a lifetime!
Assess who you are. Figure out who you want to be. Start figuring out how to get there. You may need professional help, you may not. You may have some issues you can handle on your own, some you need help with.
If you like who you are, that shows. And if you're likeable, guess what? People like you!
5. Learn to respect people.
Just .. people. Inherently. Learn to listen to them, to pay attention to their values and opinions. Learn to respect the differences between people - including their differences from you.
Learn to determine what you want from an interaction, and to make ever-improving guesses as to what other people want from that interaction. (Even when it's just 'a pleasant conversation', or 'to buy/sell groceries'.)
Learn to move interactions towards those goals. Yes, that can mean backing down when someone says something you really disagree with. Yes, that can mean apologising when your joke offends someone, even if you can't understand why.
6. Get your life in order.
Figure out what you want in life. Do you want a life of adventure, hiking in the wilderness, trekking in Nepal? Do you want 2.4 kids, a dog and a house in the suburbs? Giving your time to the needy? Cleaning up local waterways?
Start doing it.
Even the one that looks like it needs a partner - work towards buying that starter family home. Join the parents-and-citizens organisation for the local school. Maybe foster a child or volunteer at a children's organisation.
Living the life you want to live puts you in touch with people who also want to live that life.
7. Get your life in order 2.
This is the one I bet you expected the last one to be. Make your house hygenic - doesn't have to be tidy, but you don't want to bring a date home and have her scared to use the kitchen. Get your bills paid. Get any debt under control.
You want to project the image - and the reality - of a person who can manage their own life. You want a life partner, not a combination maid/butler/accountant.
8. Make your life comfortable.
I'm not saying 'luxurious', but I'm talking about the small things. If your cups are in a kitchen cupboard that you always have to stretch to reach, but you have rarely used items in a more convenient cupboard, swap them.
If you have to hunt around the house on bill-paying day because you have nowhere to put your bills as they come in, pop by an office supplies store and grab a letter file.
If you like to play music when you have a bath, do it. If you like to meditate for a few minutes a day, do it.
9. Now get out an meet people.
Of course, you've already done so in many ways, to achieve all of this. But get out and meet people interested in the things you're interested in, interested in living the life you want to live.
Don't limit yourself to singles of the appropriate gender. Meet anyone, everyone. Remember, everyone knows someone. Your perfect life partner might be the sister or daughter of the treasurer of the hiking club you join!
For every human body type and build, there's someone who loves it.
Even people with severe scarring or deformity lose out on the shallow people, not the worthwhile ones. Once you get to know a person, scarring or deformity become unimportant. (Well, that's true for me, anyway.)
Your genetic (or bad luck) heritage will affect your pool of potential partners, sure, but it doesn't block you from finding love.
With that said, let's get going...
1. Improve your general health.
No, I don't mean become a fitness fanatic. But you're generally more attractive when you've seen a dentist recently, are doing body-appropriate exercise, are eating a good mix of foods, and if your doctor knows what your blood pressure is.
Basically, you give off a subconscious aura of body confidence.
Plus when you're healthy, your pheromones signal that. Even if you're not fully healthy, better health means better pheromones.
For those with chronic illness, work on it. Become as functional and as healthy as your body lets you be, without going so overboard on it that the illness becomes your life.
2. Groom.
Once again, not excessive. Unless that's your thing. But your teeth should be brushed and flossed, your body washed, your hair neat and tidy (or intentionally messy).
Your cuticles should not be ripping holes in your skin, your heels shouldn't be cracking through to flesh, your gums shouldn't be red and inflamed.
Paint your nails black if you want to, but keep them trimmed and filed. Your potential partner is going to be imagining those hands on their body, and even the masochists would prefer controlled nail gouging!
A well groomed body is MUCH more attractive than a poorly groomed one, and makes you a much better prospect.
3. Maintain your wardrobe.
Never leave the house in damaged clothing. (Even for gardening or factory work - stained is fine for that, but damaged can get caught in machinery.)
Where was I? Oh yes.
Never leave the house in damaged clothing. Mend rips, sew on buttons, replace broken zips, patch holes. If your personal style is the "torn" look, repair any unintentional damage.
Relegate stained garments to house clothes or gardening clothes, or to the 'patching fabric' pile.
Consider this part of being well groomed.
4. Get your head in order.
Think about who YOU are. Admittedly, this investigation can take a lifetime!
Assess who you are. Figure out who you want to be. Start figuring out how to get there. You may need professional help, you may not. You may have some issues you can handle on your own, some you need help with.
If you like who you are, that shows. And if you're likeable, guess what? People like you!
5. Learn to respect people.
Just .. people. Inherently. Learn to listen to them, to pay attention to their values and opinions. Learn to respect the differences between people - including their differences from you.
Learn to determine what you want from an interaction, and to make ever-improving guesses as to what other people want from that interaction. (Even when it's just 'a pleasant conversation', or 'to buy/sell groceries'.)
Learn to move interactions towards those goals. Yes, that can mean backing down when someone says something you really disagree with. Yes, that can mean apologising when your joke offends someone, even if you can't understand why.
6. Get your life in order.
Figure out what you want in life. Do you want a life of adventure, hiking in the wilderness, trekking in Nepal? Do you want 2.4 kids, a dog and a house in the suburbs? Giving your time to the needy? Cleaning up local waterways?
Start doing it.
Even the one that looks like it needs a partner - work towards buying that starter family home. Join the parents-and-citizens organisation for the local school. Maybe foster a child or volunteer at a children's organisation.
Living the life you want to live puts you in touch with people who also want to live that life.
7. Get your life in order 2.
This is the one I bet you expected the last one to be. Make your house hygenic - doesn't have to be tidy, but you don't want to bring a date home and have her scared to use the kitchen. Get your bills paid. Get any debt under control.
You want to project the image - and the reality - of a person who can manage their own life. You want a life partner, not a combination maid/butler/accountant.
8. Make your life comfortable.
I'm not saying 'luxurious', but I'm talking about the small things. If your cups are in a kitchen cupboard that you always have to stretch to reach, but you have rarely used items in a more convenient cupboard, swap them.
If you have to hunt around the house on bill-paying day because you have nowhere to put your bills as they come in, pop by an office supplies store and grab a letter file.
If you like to play music when you have a bath, do it. If you like to meditate for a few minutes a day, do it.
9. Now get out an meet people.
Of course, you've already done so in many ways, to achieve all of this. But get out and meet people interested in the things you're interested in, interested in living the life you want to live.
Don't limit yourself to singles of the appropriate gender. Meet anyone, everyone. Remember, everyone knows someone. Your perfect life partner might be the sister or daughter of the treasurer of the hiking club you join!
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