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Let's waste the customer's time...and Irv's too!

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  • Let's waste the customer's time...and Irv's too!

    And now, a protip from your pal Irv:

    When calling other stores to locate an item your store does not have for a customer, for the love of sunshine, rainbows, cotton candy and fluffy bunnies, please check the other stores' on-hand counts for that item first, and then only call a store that has a quantity of that item on hand.

    I got this call today, after it was paged four or five times because nobody on the floor could or would answer it:

    Me: Hello, patio department, how can I help you?
    Caller: (on about the worst wireless phone connection I've heard recently) yeah, I'm calling from shithole 20 minutes away. Do you have (patio umbrella)? The sku is (number)
    Me: (typing numbers into my scanner) No we do not. The scanner shows we have none on hand.
    Caller: Could you check for me anyway"
    Me: (Exactly what part of "none on hand" is befuddling you so?) Okay.

    I went out to the patio department, where I found (get ready for the surprise of a lifetime here!) none of that umbrella anywhere to be found.

    Me: I'm sorry, I couldn't find it out there anywhere.
    Caller: Okay, I'll guess I'll have to try Fond du Lac or Grafton then. Thank you.

    Just out of nosiness, I checked the on-hand counts for this umbrella at the Fond du Lac and Grafton stores. Both showed none on hand. This would have been made apparent to the caller had she taken the time to punch a couple buttons on her scanner first, but she works at the shithole of a store 20 minutes away, where common sense, good product presentation, and general competence go to die a screaming, bloody death. But no, she instead decided to just call a bunch of stores out of the blue, sit on musical hold for a while each time because these other stores are no better staffed than mine is, and probably get told no each time. Had she bothered to look for a store that had two or three in stock, she could've called them, verifed the umbrellas were there, and arranged to have one sent to the store if necessary in less time that it'll take her to check three different stores.

    The scanners can look up on-hands for any item at any of our stores. Even the ones in far-away Washington, Oregon, Idaho and Montana, and this does occasionally become necessary.
    Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

    "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

  • #2
    Quoth Irving Patrick Freleigh View Post
    but she works at the shithole of a store 20 minutes away, where common sense, good product presentation, and general competence go to die a screaming, bloody death.
    Isn't that the description for YOUR store?

    *ducks*

    If it makes you feel any better, I occassionally have to deal with that problem as well. Makes it even better when the sister store doesn't understand the concept of "load."

    Other store: You're showing 3 of SKU 623456.

    Me: Yes, but they're all in load.

    OS: Well can you hold one for my customer?

    Me: No. It's IN LOAD. That means it's currently not available for sale. You know how that works.

    OS: So.....no?

    Me:
    "We guard the souls in heaven; we don't horse-trade them!" Samandrial in Supernatural

    RIP Plaidman.

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