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  • Common scenarios and appropriate replies.

    A thread to list potential scenarios and reasonably appropriate responses to them, depending on your own brand of appropriateness, I suppose.

    • Scenario: Friendly'ish (Yet pet-voiced and condescending despite being friendly) says "you're doing a great job!" when all you're doing is walking them down an aisle and showing them where something is. You haven't even discussed the actual item yet.
    • My response: "Why thanks, you too!!! ^_^ Anything else you're looking for?"

    Catches them off their feet a little. Helps to be sugary-sweet. I tend to match the tones of the people I interact with, when above the median standard tone.
    • Scenario: I have quite the line, and the person I'm currently helping has a larger than usual order. One of the customers in the rear or middle of the line is audibly getting impatient, and urges me to hurry. I have two replies to this impatient individual:
    • "I can absolutely promise you that I can and will give you as much attention as you allow me to give to my current customer."
    • "Tell you what. I won't rush him/her, but I will rush your order. Sounds fair?

    Then if they comment on a rushed job being crude, tough on them. They have their choice.

    As I think of more, I'll likely update the list.

    If anything, what I'm really looking for is a way to stop people asking me if I work here when I'm on break. Gets really annoying.
    SC: "Are you new or something?"
    Me: "Yes. Your planet is very backwards I hope you realize."

  • #2
    Oh, the first type especially irritates me. I thnk the worst is when they throw in "good job", which seems to be this decade's catch phrase to use on your toddler, and irritates the heck out of me to hear it used to an adult.

    I find dealing with difficult people easier if I slip back into a southern accent (grew up mainly in the south, have lost most of my accent, and never had one as deep as I can slip into easily). Somehow, tossing out "hon" & "darlin' " in that accent lets me be as condescending as I want to, and it either goes right over their heads, or it at least confuses the heck out of them as they aren't quite sure I'm being disrespectful or condescending or not
    Course, it does help that we're a long way from the south

    Madness takes it's toll....
    Please have exact change ready.

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    • #3
      After living in the south for over 10 years now, I think you have to throw in a "bless your heart!", too.
      "They gave me a badge with my name on it. In case I forget who I am." Dr Who - Closing Time

      "I reject your reality and substitute my own." Adam Savage-Mythbusters

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      • #4
        Quoth Merriweather View Post
        Oh, the first type especially irritates me. I thnk the worst is when they throw in "good job", which seems to be this decade's catch phrase to use on your toddler, and irritates the heck out of me to hear it used to an adult.
        I was helping one customer at the fabric store, and when I finished, instead of "thank you" or something similar, she said, "Good girl!" Yes, in the exact same tone of voice you use to praise a dog for learning a new trick.
        I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
        My LiveJournal
        A page we can all agree with!

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        • #5
          I generally find "You're funny. ^_^" to be a decent-enough reply. It's not provocative, but it is dismissing.
          SC: "Are you new or something?"
          Me: "Yes. Your planet is very backwards I hope you realize."

          Comment


          • #6
            Quoth XCashier View Post
            I was helping one customer at the fabric store, and when I finished, instead of "thank you" or something similar, she said, "Good girl!" Yes, in the exact same tone of voice you use to praise a dog for learning a new trick.
            THIS DRIVES ME NUTS! When I worked in a coffee shop it always bugged me, made me want to spill hot coffee all over them

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            • #7
              Oh yes, I used to get the "good girl" thing from customers too! Usually after reading back the ad they just dictated to me. Honestly, I never knew whether to bark at them or what.

              One idiot that really frosted me one morning was my first caller of the day at exactly 8:30 AM. In a fake cheerful voice he asks, "Are you all finished with your break now?" Best part, I don't think he was even on hold before that!

              I told him I started at 8:30 and he was my first call. I WANTED to say, "Actually, no," and hang up, but I didn't.
              When you start at zero, everything's progress.

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              • #8
                The reply I want to use for the pet-voice people, or the ones who think whistling will get me to come over is "Treat me like a puppy and I will piss in your shoes!" However, even Awesome Boss isn't awesome enough to let me get away with that...
                The customer is always right, but this is a public house, and you are a guest.

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                • #9
                  Quoth Divra View Post
                  The reply I want to use for the pet-voice people, or the ones who think whistling will get me to come over is "Treat me like a puppy and I will piss in your shoes!" However, even Awesome Boss isn't awesome enough to let me get away with that...
                  Then there are the people who do the finger "come here wench" at a server. The "proper" responce is "It TAKES more than one or two fingers to make me come".
                  I'm lost without a paddle and headed up SH*T creek.
                  -- Life Sucks Then You Die.


                  "I'll believe corp. are people when Texas executes one."

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                  • #10
                    Quoth Racket_Man View Post
                    Then there are the people who do the finger "come here wench" at a server. The "proper" responce is "It TAKES more than one or two fingers to make me come".
                    Coffee. Out nose. Ow.
                    What colour is the sky in your world and how high of a dosage do you need before it turns back to blue? --Gravekeeper

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                    • #11
                      Quoth mharbourgirl View Post
                      Coffee. Out nose. Ow.
                      Forgot Rule #1 did we?

                      I'm finding (in my "old age" lol) that the best response to stupid, STUPID FRICKIN COMMENTS is the good old "mmmhmm". It also helps that half the time that's me physically holding my mouth shut not to say to the effect of "no shit sherlock!" or "what did you expect?!" ....

                      Tho I really am struggling with the best comeback to when there's a cable cut and the dreaded question comes out: "How long do you think it will take to fix?"
                      ARGH!!!!

                      My NICE answer is "It depends on the severity blah blah" but I wish I had a nice, but slightly snarky answer off the top of my head
                      Ne auderis delere orbem rigidum meum! - Don't you dare erase my hard disk!

                      This is Tech Support, not Customer Service.
                      What's the difference?
                      We're allowed to tell you "no".

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                      • #12
                        Quoth rose_metal_nz View Post
                        Tho I really am struggling with the best comeback to when there's a cable cut and the dreaded question comes out: "How long do you think it will take to fix?"
                        "About that long."
                        "Sometime between now and the end of the world."
                        "We should have it done by February 31st."
                        I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
                        My LiveJournal
                        A page we can all agree with!

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Quoth mharbourgirl View Post
                          Coffee. Out nose. Ow.
                          Dang that particular saying (the one in my reply) is an OLD one. I first heard that saying 25 or 30 years ago. MY Ex (a former server) used that one once I believe on a busy night.
                          I'm lost without a paddle and headed up SH*T creek.
                          -- Life Sucks Then You Die.


                          "I'll believe corp. are people when Texas executes one."

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Quoth Lovecats View Post
                            After living in the south for over 10 years now, I think you have to throw in a "bless your heart!", too.
                            That's standard down here, Sweetheart. Otherwise it ain't proper.
                            Human Resources - the adult version of "I'm telling Mom." - Agent Anthony "Tony" DiNozzo (NCIS)

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