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Ok, so there are 3 long parts to this, and I apologize ahead of time for the epic length...
So..Part 1
My Monday-Friday job is treating pediatric burns. In most cases the parents of our patients are awesome. We treat outpatient and inpatient burns and wounds, and most of the time we are able to soothe both the child and the family, treat the burns successfully and everyone is happy (of course this isn't always the case and we see your share of situations that end up involving Child Protective Services and clear cases of abuse, self mutilation, burns requiring surgery and serious, life-altering scarring, etc...). Because the parents we see tend to be carrying a huge load of guilt, the relief they feel when everything goes well is pretty tremendous, and they are usually very grateful. I have met some pretty awesome parents doing this job and I love bonding with them. This will be important later, I promise....
Ok, Part 2
So a few weeks ago I am at work in the Hotel lounge. There is a conference for City Employees going on, and,at one point a gentleman comes into the lounge and starts asking me questions about what we have (this is kind of annoying as he is staring right over my shoulder at the exact items he is asking about, but...meh. Normal suck, not worth getting het up over). During this conversation his wife comes over and joins him. Now, to set the scene, it is completely empty in the lounge, extremely quiet, and I am standing directly across the bar from these 2. We can clearly hear each other, and we are close enough to poke each other in the shoulder if we were of a mind to do so. (or the eye)
So I greet Wifey in a friendly way and ask her if she would like anything. Wifey looks at me for a few seconds and then turns to her husband, who is actually standing further away from her than I am, and says "Does SHE have any vodka?"
Ok......Right. So, you're an asshole then? Good to know, now I don't have to wonder about it. Phew!
THIS is one of my greatest pet peeves. In all the service jobs I've worked, nothing makes me see red more than someone who refuses to even acknowledge the smudge of scum who is only there to serve them, and clearly isn't a human being in any way. Well you know what b*tch-cakes? If you want a f*cking drink, you are going to have to deign to speak to me. It's pretty easy. Open up your word-hole and say "Shalom" Use your big girl voice. Ass.
Me: We do indeed have vodka, as we are a fully licensed lounge (you f*cking idiot). Here is a menu with all of our drinks.
Wifey bobbles her head back to me and stares at me in total shock. Goodness!! It's like the family pet has started speaking! Call the media!!! She then wobbles her big dumb face down to the menu, picks it up BETWEEN TWO FINGERS LIKE IT'S CONTAMINATED and then drops it back on the bar without even opening it.
Wifey then says to her husband "Does she have Absolut?"
Oh dear god. I have a Martini strainer and a lemon zester in easy reach. And you just made. the. Kill. List.
Me: Why yes, we do have several flavors of Absolut, they are listed in the menu and also right behind me on the shelf.
Wifey (to husband, of course): Does she have Peach?
OK, now I am done.I busy myself wiping down the counter and totally ignore her. After a few seconds, her husband snaps at me
"HELLO? She's asking you a question!"
Me: "Oh, I'm sorry, she seemed to want all her info through you, so I just thought I would let you two work it out.
This is the closest I've come to snotting off to a customer and it would be enough to get me fired as our hotel is very into "Excellent Service, above and beyond for the customer, blah blah blah" but right now I don't care.
Hubby: Do you HAVE any PEACH Absolut vodka??? " of course, he's completely exasperated at my idiocy right now. My goodness, I am a terrible servant.
Me: No, I'm very sorry, we have Raspberry, Mango, Citron, Lemon, Vanilla and Pear flavors but no Peach.
Wifey: "Oh just forget it! This is just a waste of time. We're going to be LATE now!"
Husband stays a moment longer to try and find out if he can still buy a drink and take it into the conference with him (Answer? No.) But she comes stomping back, grabs his arm and actually hisses at me "This girl is a just a waste of time!"
So...wow. I ws actually kind of stunned at the level of venom that came from this bitch. I hate to say it but it made me tear up a little bit, it was just so unnecessary.
Part 3
So, now fast forward about 7 weeks. I am paged to help with a new burn and guess who the parents are??? Yes indeed, Mr and Mrs Entitled have survived their brush with incompetence and Absolut deprivation and here they are.
So, fortunately things go well with the treatment, their daughter is adorable and seems susceptible to my brand of making fart noises, shadow puppets and shiny bracelets as distraction. She also chews on my hair a little bit too, but it's all good.
Mom and dad keep giving me these strange looks, and it's clear that they recognize me but have NO idea from where. This is made doubly obvious by the fact that they are pleasant, grateful and respectful, thanking me for everything I am doing for their daughter.
So finally, we finish the dressing, the therapist who I work with (B) goes to get the computer to book the next patient and the Mom finally says to me "You look SO familiar. I feel like we've met before!"
Me: Biggest, fakest sh*t eating grin you have ever seen plastered over my face: "Oh, that's because we have!"
Both: " Oh REALLY? Where? Do you work in emergency as well???"
Me: No, I also work at (hotel) lounge.
I watch as the realization dawns on them. My god! I am the same useless piece of garbage that wasn't even deserving to be spoken to directly only a few weeks ago! How is this possible???
So, B comes back in and is happily rebooking them, with no idea of what's going on.
Mr and Mrs Entitled turn to leave and then Wifey stops and says to me "Thank you so much for your help today! You made it so much easier for (daughter)"
Me: "Oh that's so good to hear! I'd hate to think I was just being USELESS!"
The awesome part is that I managed to say it in such a friendly, sincere sounding way that it hardly even sounded bitchy, unless you knew the situation. but it did the trick. They scampered out of there like their *sses were on fire and the rest was catching!
The sad thing is, I know for a fact they didn't learn any kind of a lesson from it. They will just file it away in their stupid, petulant little brains and never think of it again.
Le sigh.
So..Part 1
My Monday-Friday job is treating pediatric burns. In most cases the parents of our patients are awesome. We treat outpatient and inpatient burns and wounds, and most of the time we are able to soothe both the child and the family, treat the burns successfully and everyone is happy (of course this isn't always the case and we see your share of situations that end up involving Child Protective Services and clear cases of abuse, self mutilation, burns requiring surgery and serious, life-altering scarring, etc...). Because the parents we see tend to be carrying a huge load of guilt, the relief they feel when everything goes well is pretty tremendous, and they are usually very grateful. I have met some pretty awesome parents doing this job and I love bonding with them. This will be important later, I promise....
Ok, Part 2
So a few weeks ago I am at work in the Hotel lounge. There is a conference for City Employees going on, and,at one point a gentleman comes into the lounge and starts asking me questions about what we have (this is kind of annoying as he is staring right over my shoulder at the exact items he is asking about, but...meh. Normal suck, not worth getting het up over). During this conversation his wife comes over and joins him. Now, to set the scene, it is completely empty in the lounge, extremely quiet, and I am standing directly across the bar from these 2. We can clearly hear each other, and we are close enough to poke each other in the shoulder if we were of a mind to do so. (or the eye)
So I greet Wifey in a friendly way and ask her if she would like anything. Wifey looks at me for a few seconds and then turns to her husband, who is actually standing further away from her than I am, and says "Does SHE have any vodka?"
Ok......Right. So, you're an asshole then? Good to know, now I don't have to wonder about it. Phew!
THIS is one of my greatest pet peeves. In all the service jobs I've worked, nothing makes me see red more than someone who refuses to even acknowledge the smudge of scum who is only there to serve them, and clearly isn't a human being in any way. Well you know what b*tch-cakes? If you want a f*cking drink, you are going to have to deign to speak to me. It's pretty easy. Open up your word-hole and say "Shalom" Use your big girl voice. Ass.
Me: We do indeed have vodka, as we are a fully licensed lounge (you f*cking idiot). Here is a menu with all of our drinks.
Wifey bobbles her head back to me and stares at me in total shock. Goodness!! It's like the family pet has started speaking! Call the media!!! She then wobbles her big dumb face down to the menu, picks it up BETWEEN TWO FINGERS LIKE IT'S CONTAMINATED and then drops it back on the bar without even opening it.
Wifey then says to her husband "Does she have Absolut?"
Oh dear god. I have a Martini strainer and a lemon zester in easy reach. And you just made. the. Kill. List.
Me: Why yes, we do have several flavors of Absolut, they are listed in the menu and also right behind me on the shelf.
Wifey (to husband, of course): Does she have Peach?
OK, now I am done.I busy myself wiping down the counter and totally ignore her. After a few seconds, her husband snaps at me
"HELLO? She's asking you a question!"
Me: "Oh, I'm sorry, she seemed to want all her info through you, so I just thought I would let you two work it out.
This is the closest I've come to snotting off to a customer and it would be enough to get me fired as our hotel is very into "Excellent Service, above and beyond for the customer, blah blah blah" but right now I don't care.
Hubby: Do you HAVE any PEACH Absolut vodka??? " of course, he's completely exasperated at my idiocy right now. My goodness, I am a terrible servant.
Me: No, I'm very sorry, we have Raspberry, Mango, Citron, Lemon, Vanilla and Pear flavors but no Peach.
Wifey: "Oh just forget it! This is just a waste of time. We're going to be LATE now!"
Husband stays a moment longer to try and find out if he can still buy a drink and take it into the conference with him (Answer? No.) But she comes stomping back, grabs his arm and actually hisses at me "This girl is a just a waste of time!"
So...wow. I ws actually kind of stunned at the level of venom that came from this bitch. I hate to say it but it made me tear up a little bit, it was just so unnecessary.
Part 3
So, now fast forward about 7 weeks. I am paged to help with a new burn and guess who the parents are??? Yes indeed, Mr and Mrs Entitled have survived their brush with incompetence and Absolut deprivation and here they are.
So, fortunately things go well with the treatment, their daughter is adorable and seems susceptible to my brand of making fart noises, shadow puppets and shiny bracelets as distraction. She also chews on my hair a little bit too, but it's all good.
Mom and dad keep giving me these strange looks, and it's clear that they recognize me but have NO idea from where. This is made doubly obvious by the fact that they are pleasant, grateful and respectful, thanking me for everything I am doing for their daughter.
So finally, we finish the dressing, the therapist who I work with (B) goes to get the computer to book the next patient and the Mom finally says to me "You look SO familiar. I feel like we've met before!"
Me: Biggest, fakest sh*t eating grin you have ever seen plastered over my face: "Oh, that's because we have!"
Both: " Oh REALLY? Where? Do you work in emergency as well???"
Me: No, I also work at (hotel) lounge.
I watch as the realization dawns on them. My god! I am the same useless piece of garbage that wasn't even deserving to be spoken to directly only a few weeks ago! How is this possible???
So, B comes back in and is happily rebooking them, with no idea of what's going on.
Mr and Mrs Entitled turn to leave and then Wifey stops and says to me "Thank you so much for your help today! You made it so much easier for (daughter)"
Me: "Oh that's so good to hear! I'd hate to think I was just being USELESS!"
The awesome part is that I managed to say it in such a friendly, sincere sounding way that it hardly even sounded bitchy, unless you knew the situation. but it did the trick. They scampered out of there like their *sses were on fire and the rest was catching!
The sad thing is, I know for a fact they didn't learn any kind of a lesson from it. They will just file it away in their stupid, petulant little brains and never think of it again.
Le sigh.
I don't understand why people let themselves go there, and it left me feeling really upset....
And I think you handled it extremely well.
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