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Things Customers Shouldn't be Allowed to Say

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  • #16
    I utterly, utterly, hated and despised people who did that. Maybe I have a valid reason to be tired, eh? No. I shall not wake up. And you know what? I'm even snarkier when I'm tired to the point of falling asleep if I'm unmoving. So sod off. (Which I did do a few times.. no customers, not moving.. dozing while standing up. Yeahh, fun.)
    One time when I was filling in for a bagger I came in after only about three hours of sleep due to a medical call I responded to. Customer looked at me and my bleary eyes and said "Oh, did you spend too much time partying last night?" To which I replied the true reason and she stopped and said "oh...um...that's a good reason".

    I thought so. :-p
    Answers are easy...it is asking the right questions which is hard.

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    • #17
      Quoth JoitheArtist View Post
      "I'm on a fixed income! You should make your memberships free!" News for ya, lady: everyone except maybe Bill Gates is on a fixed income to some extent. We don't have unlimited cash either. Either you want to belong to this org in which case you'll find the $20 a year, or you don't and will spend your money elsewhere. But we're not giving you all our stuff for free just because you have a small budget.
      I get this all the time, a lot of my customers are pensioners. The discount scheme we offer them requires us to ask their income (and not that I blame them, but boy are they snarky about it). The sheer number who have an income over £100k a year, and yet still play the 'on-a-fixed-income-give-me-a-discount' card is unbelievable. If it wouldn't get me fired, my reply would be 'well, guess what? <cheap-skate major energy supplier> fix my income at £12k a year, and I still have to pay full price for my energy'.

      The annoying thing is, the scheme we're offering is discounted for people over sixty. They then ask for a discount. Er, hello? That's the price I just offered you

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      • #18
        How about this one?

        "I pay your salary!"

        Yeah, okay, whatever. Unless your personal signature appears on my check I'm going to have to say you don't and it's time to put the brakes on that entitlement train you're riding.

        But then again, my company used to encourage this line of thinking with the following slogan on our check stubs: "Satisfied customers sign our paychecks."
        Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

        "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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        • #19
          Quoth BeckySunshine View Post
          "Let me have the employee discount!"



          Yeah, we don't get one here. Thanks for playing!!
          If Evil Irv (given name Irfeeng Petreeck Freleeegh, thank you Rinkworks dialectilizer ) was working, he'd respond "Sure, on the condition that you let me come to your job with you and gank a bunch of stuff. Of course, if you get fired it's your own fault."

          Like Norm Feuti, he likes to drive the point home.
          Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

          "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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          • #20
            I hate it when people say, "But I don't have a driver's license". I just tell them they'll either cough up a license or they don't get a load, they shut up pretty fast.

            I also hate the, You look tired, or you need to wake up. Excuse me for looking tired at 4 a.m. in the morning and being 8 months pregnant. The glare of death usually silences them.

            I also hate it when truck drivers tell me I have to do something for them. No I don't and you throwing a temper tantrum, and yelling at me instead of asking politely isn't going to get you anywhere.

            Comment


            • #21
              Quoth JesseCuster40 View Post
              12: (after the cashier checks a bill for authenticity) "I just made that today!"
              "And it is such a BEAUTIFUL Xerox! You are truely talented!"


              Customers picks up phone and says "Yeah, just pick me up at the Dollar General next to the Wal-Mart."
              ....Dollar General is no where near the Wal-Mart.

              "SMILE, Kiddo! It can't be that bad!"
              When you have the town pedophile hanging onto your wrist and you're trying to get away without hurting the old geezer and you can't say anything because you'd be written up for insulting a customer then, yeah, I guess it's not that bad. /Sarcasm.

              "You look so drepressed, are you okay?" ...I'm...stocking? Neutral face, dudette.
              Now a member of that alien race called Management.

              Yeah, you see that right. Pink. Harness.

              Comment


              • #22
                Quoth Irving Patrick Freleigh View Post
                How about this one?

                "I pay your salary!"
                last time somebody said that to me I asked them if I could have a wage rise then.
                "Light a fire for someone and he will be warm all day,
                set light to someone and he will be warm for the rest of his life" Sir Samuel Vimes

                Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.

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                • #23
                  Quoth RetailWorkhorse View Post
                  "SMILE, Kiddo! It can't be that bad!"
                  I'm sorry, I've spent the last five hours on a scene guard where a five year old involved is now havinf brain surgery, I'd say it's pretty bad.
                  A PSA, if I may, as well as another.

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                  • #24
                    *gives Crazylegs a huge hug* And this is why I try very hard not to say things like that...you don't know what the circumstances are.
                    http://dragcave.ath.cx/user/29478

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                    • #25
                      "Are you having a bad day?"
                      I don't like your attitude!
                      Yeah? Well you're not EATING my attitude!

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                      • #26
                        I'd be careful what you're hugging, Moeko. You dunno where crazylegs has been.


                        "Have you ever been to <country>?"
                        "Nope, I don't have a passport."
                        "Come to <country> and I'll make sure you get a <country> passport! It's easy!"
                        "Nah, I'm okay, thanks."
                        "I'll get you a <country> passport and you can marry me and we live happy!"
                        "*laughs*" (Thinking: GO AWAY!)

                        The funny thing is, I was told from a previous guest from his <country> that interracial couples are generally a no-no. How weird, I thought.
                        Ridiculous 2009 Predictions: Evil Queen will beat Martha Stewart to death with a muffin pan. All hail Evil Queen! (Some things don't need elaboration.....) -- Jester

                        Ridiculous 2010 Predictions: Evil Queen, after escaping prison for last years prediction, goes out and waffle irons Rachel Ray to death. -- SG15Z

                        Ridiculous 2011 Prediction: Evil Queen will beat Gordon Ramsay over the head with a cast-iron skillet. -- FireHeart

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                        • #27
                          Quoth Evil Queen View Post
                          I'd be careful what you're hugging, Moeko. You dunno where crazylegs has been.
                          And what may you be insinuating?

                          To be fair, I do spend a lot of time hanging around on street corners and wandersing the streets!
                          A PSA, if I may, as well as another.

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                          • #28
                            Nothing!
                            Ridiculous 2009 Predictions: Evil Queen will beat Martha Stewart to death with a muffin pan. All hail Evil Queen! (Some things don't need elaboration.....) -- Jester

                            Ridiculous 2010 Predictions: Evil Queen, after escaping prison for last years prediction, goes out and waffle irons Rachel Ray to death. -- SG15Z

                            Ridiculous 2011 Prediction: Evil Queen will beat Gordon Ramsay over the head with a cast-iron skillet. -- FireHeart

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              Oh dear. :P
                              http://dragcave.ath.cx/user/29478

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                SMILE, Kiddo! It can't be that bad!"
                                That's one pet peeve that i have when people tell me that shit. Dude, I have been cursed at, yelled at, had gotten in trouble numerous times, had customers
                                scam me and you expect me to be all perky and happy?

                                it also doesn't help that I am not exactly a smiliy bubbily person to begin with

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