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As a result of Hurricane Irma, <Red Checkmark> has had to close down four centers in Florida this weekend. On the plus side they've offered the rest of us tons of OT to fill in the gaps (yay, money!), on the not so plus side, I get to deal with MORE of this crap...
Natural Disaster? Screw that! - Part 1
I had six, count 'em SIX calls from customers in Florida today wondering why their phones weren't working. Well, gee, whatever could be going on there today...maybe because some of the TOWERS BLEW DOWN?!?!
Of course I am being a bit facetious there but fact is, 100+ MPH winds and torrential rains aren't that great for technology. Thus, there WILL BE OUTAGES.
Bitching and moaning and whining at me is not going to change the fact your services will be down for awhile. And to the lady who very rudely cussed me out when I explained that no, we weren't going to send a tech out down a FLOODED ROAD to repair a tower: There's a very, VERY special place in hell for you. I hope you enjoy it when you get there.
Also, to the guy who was bitching because his friends <Death Star Wireless> phone was working but his <Red Checkmark> device wasn't: You're little more than a loud, misguided idiot.
Different networks, different technology, different cell tower locations, different circumstances. In other words, a completely useless and irrelevant apples-to-oranges comparison.
I know we live and die by our phones these days but anyone who is trusting a cell phone to keep them connected during a natural disaster is a freaking idiot. Stick to walkie talkies and short range radio. People have been doing shit that way for years for a reason...IT WORKS.
On a related note, I have to give a shoutout to our network guys because there's actually been less of an impact from the storm as we'd been anticipating. Not that my SCs want to hear anything about that.
Natural Disaster? Screw that! - Part 2
<Red Checkmark> ships phones all over the country. One of our distribution centers is in Florida so of course this means delayed orders. You'd think people would be understanding and cool about but NOPE!
Cue endless whining and bitching about delivery problems and missed deadlines and OMG why isn't my phone here yet and you can see why my sanity has been pushed to the limits as of late. I swear to god if one more person demands "Compensation" for this "inconvenience" I'm going to rip this phone off the cord and smash it to pieces right in front of my desk.
Again, we were ready for this. The worst delays we're anticipting are 3-4 days. You'd tihnk by the way people were talking me they were facing the prospect of MONTHS without a phone.
How about you be happy you're living somewhere where your house is still standing and your neighborhood's not underwater right now, okay?
But I'm onnnnn the account!
Verification procedures are different for stores than they are for over the phone service. The simple reason for this is that the store employees can check your ID and verify you are who you say you are.
I can't.
So instead, we use a PIN code, set by the account holder, to authenticate. There are no exceptions to this policy and the company takes it VERY seriously. Seriously as in reps have been FIRED for making changes on a non or improperly authorized account.
Inevitable people will whine and bitch that they should be allowed full access to the account with NO authentication whatsoever because the account holder has put their name on the account as a designated user.
That might help you in the store honey, but it's not going to help you here. One lady in particular was terrible about this. She wanted me to let her have access to the account because she was his wife.
I told her repeatedly she would have to get the PIN from HIM for me to be able to discuss billing and every time she would reply with "But I'm his wife!". Lady, to me all you are is a random voice on the phone that could be anyone or anything. No PIN, no access, no exceptions.
She finally gave up when my manager, who had been remotely listening to the call, took it over and shut her down.
It's all about the game and how you play it...
Some customers think they have us all figured out. They think all they have to do is say the right magic words in the right sequence and they'll somehow get us to magically do something we wouldn't have otherwise done. I'm wise to your tricks people, I can tell a mile away if you're trying to get me for credits or a free phone or a free upgrade.
Also, lying to me while I'm trying to troubleshoot your phone will do nothing but piss us both off. Like the people who tell me they are not on their phone and when I tell them to turn the device off and the call suddenly drops it becomes obvious they are.
One particular guy, gets the gold star for this approach. Before I could even say a WORD, he tells me about what happened to his phone, every single troubleshooting step he's done (which coincidentally is in the EXACT order we are required to do them), says the phone is damage is free and we need send a replacement out post haste.
The issue is the device won't power on. Odd, because my caller ID seems to indicate is he ON the device in question right now. So I send a test message to the number and moments later I hear his notification tone blinging. He tells me that's coincidence and the blinging came from his friends phone. Uh huh...sure.
Well okay then, since the device won't power on, let me go ahead and cancel its network connection...Hello? Caller are you there? ....Oops, looks like someone got BUSTED.
And the worst part about this is that the <Red Checkmark> store employees will sometimes coach customers on what to say when they call us. I'm sure you can imagine how well THAT turns out. Yeah, the store reps and I butt heads a lot. It's NOT my job to make you look good for the customer or fix all your screwups or offer the customer some bullshit deal you made up that doesn't actually exist so you can sell him 4 new lines. Yes, some dumbass employee tried this with me once. Yes, I reported it to his manager AND my manager.
Crazedclerks Phone Etiquette Tips of the day
1) Starting the call off by calling me a F#%ing incompentent idiot who has no clue what he's doing is a great way to ensure I will provide you the most MINIMAL service possible.
2) I don't care how important you think you are. I don't rush for anyone.
3) Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, you speak with the Fraud department.
4) Screaming at me never makes anything better. EVER.
5) Despite what the recording may say, you're actually NOT that important to us.
Natural Disaster? Screw that! - Part 1
I had six, count 'em SIX calls from customers in Florida today wondering why their phones weren't working. Well, gee, whatever could be going on there today...maybe because some of the TOWERS BLEW DOWN?!?!
Of course I am being a bit facetious there but fact is, 100+ MPH winds and torrential rains aren't that great for technology. Thus, there WILL BE OUTAGES.
Bitching and moaning and whining at me is not going to change the fact your services will be down for awhile. And to the lady who very rudely cussed me out when I explained that no, we weren't going to send a tech out down a FLOODED ROAD to repair a tower: There's a very, VERY special place in hell for you. I hope you enjoy it when you get there.
Also, to the guy who was bitching because his friends <Death Star Wireless> phone was working but his <Red Checkmark> device wasn't: You're little more than a loud, misguided idiot.
Different networks, different technology, different cell tower locations, different circumstances. In other words, a completely useless and irrelevant apples-to-oranges comparison.
I know we live and die by our phones these days but anyone who is trusting a cell phone to keep them connected during a natural disaster is a freaking idiot. Stick to walkie talkies and short range radio. People have been doing shit that way for years for a reason...IT WORKS.
On a related note, I have to give a shoutout to our network guys because there's actually been less of an impact from the storm as we'd been anticipating. Not that my SCs want to hear anything about that.
Natural Disaster? Screw that! - Part 2
<Red Checkmark> ships phones all over the country. One of our distribution centers is in Florida so of course this means delayed orders. You'd think people would be understanding and cool about but NOPE!
Cue endless whining and bitching about delivery problems and missed deadlines and OMG why isn't my phone here yet and you can see why my sanity has been pushed to the limits as of late. I swear to god if one more person demands "Compensation" for this "inconvenience" I'm going to rip this phone off the cord and smash it to pieces right in front of my desk.
Again, we were ready for this. The worst delays we're anticipting are 3-4 days. You'd tihnk by the way people were talking me they were facing the prospect of MONTHS without a phone.
How about you be happy you're living somewhere where your house is still standing and your neighborhood's not underwater right now, okay?
But I'm onnnnn the account!
Verification procedures are different for stores than they are for over the phone service. The simple reason for this is that the store employees can check your ID and verify you are who you say you are.
I can't.
So instead, we use a PIN code, set by the account holder, to authenticate. There are no exceptions to this policy and the company takes it VERY seriously. Seriously as in reps have been FIRED for making changes on a non or improperly authorized account.
Inevitable people will whine and bitch that they should be allowed full access to the account with NO authentication whatsoever because the account holder has put their name on the account as a designated user.
That might help you in the store honey, but it's not going to help you here. One lady in particular was terrible about this. She wanted me to let her have access to the account because she was his wife.
I told her repeatedly she would have to get the PIN from HIM for me to be able to discuss billing and every time she would reply with "But I'm his wife!". Lady, to me all you are is a random voice on the phone that could be anyone or anything. No PIN, no access, no exceptions.
She finally gave up when my manager, who had been remotely listening to the call, took it over and shut her down.
It's all about the game and how you play it...
Some customers think they have us all figured out. They think all they have to do is say the right magic words in the right sequence and they'll somehow get us to magically do something we wouldn't have otherwise done. I'm wise to your tricks people, I can tell a mile away if you're trying to get me for credits or a free phone or a free upgrade.
Also, lying to me while I'm trying to troubleshoot your phone will do nothing but piss us both off. Like the people who tell me they are not on their phone and when I tell them to turn the device off and the call suddenly drops it becomes obvious they are.
One particular guy, gets the gold star for this approach. Before I could even say a WORD, he tells me about what happened to his phone, every single troubleshooting step he's done (which coincidentally is in the EXACT order we are required to do them), says the phone is damage is free and we need send a replacement out post haste.
The issue is the device won't power on. Odd, because my caller ID seems to indicate is he ON the device in question right now. So I send a test message to the number and moments later I hear his notification tone blinging. He tells me that's coincidence and the blinging came from his friends phone. Uh huh...sure.
Well okay then, since the device won't power on, let me go ahead and cancel its network connection...Hello? Caller are you there? ....Oops, looks like someone got BUSTED.
And the worst part about this is that the <Red Checkmark> store employees will sometimes coach customers on what to say when they call us. I'm sure you can imagine how well THAT turns out. Yeah, the store reps and I butt heads a lot. It's NOT my job to make you look good for the customer or fix all your screwups or offer the customer some bullshit deal you made up that doesn't actually exist so you can sell him 4 new lines. Yes, some dumbass employee tried this with me once. Yes, I reported it to his manager AND my manager.
Crazedclerks Phone Etiquette Tips of the day
1) Starting the call off by calling me a F#%ing incompentent idiot who has no clue what he's doing is a great way to ensure I will provide you the most MINIMAL service possible.
2) I don't care how important you think you are. I don't rush for anyone.
3) Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, you speak with the Fraud department.
4) Screaming at me never makes anything better. EVER.
5) Despite what the recording may say, you're actually NOT that important to us.
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