That Which Should Not Be Asked

[Alpha Strike]

That's rude, even if you were pregnant. Frankly, it's none of his business whether you are or not, and if you are when you're due.

If you know for a fact that someone is pregnant - the woman told you, for example - why is it rude to ask the due date?

[Nephy]

I'm currently 5 months pregnant, and still at the stage where it could be that I'm pregnant, or just pudgy.

So far I've only had one person that didn't know for sure that I was pregnant ask when I was due, but I had bent over, so she probably saw the band of my maternity pants.

At the Halloween party I went to I was (obviously) not drinking.. finally one guy asked "So, not drinking... whyyyy?" When I told him why, he goes "Okay, yeah, that's what I thought, but would have been horrified if I said that and you weren't", so it's nice that he confirmed first.

And I'm guilty of being one of those women that will slip it into the conversation any time I can, since I love talking about it. But then again, most people's reaction is "Yaaaaaay, baby!" followed by a million questions.


I work in a drugstore, so I hate it when someone asks me where some sort of medication is if they look like they miiiight be pregnant, since if they're pregnant, I'll send them to the pharmacist first so she can consult on what's safe to take. Still haven't figured out a graceful way to ask.

[Jester]

Why are people so freaking rude??

I never thought that I would quote Depeche Mode, a band I despise and actually attempted to ban from my college radio show, but in this case, as much as I loathe their music, this song just sprang to mind:

"People are people
So why should it be
You and I should get along so awfully

Now youre punching
And youre kicking
And youre shouting at me
And Im relying on your common decency
So far it hasnt surfaced
But Im sure it exists
It just takes a while to travel
From your head to your fist

People are people
So why should it be
You and I should get along so awfully"

People are people, my dear. Which is to say, they are selfish, self-centered, smally, petty, mean, rude, and oblivious. THAT, sadly, is human nature.

How can people be that oblivious?

Pg 'fat' is all in the front belly location (along with some other, often obvious, changes)

Overweight is spread around a bit more

Yes and no.

1. Someone can be pregnant and not have it be that obvious if it is in the early or middle stages. Or they could just be overweight. At that point in the (potential) pregnancy, it is not the clearly delineated.

2. There are some overweight women where there IS a lot of weight in their belly, like a guy's beer belly, that could look like a pregnancy.

At the Halloween party I went to I was (obviously) not drinking.. finally one guy asked "So, not drinking... whyyyy?" When I told him why, he goes "Okay, yeah, that's what I thought, but would have been horrified if I said that and you weren't", so it's nice that he confirmed first.

Typical conversation with a guest:

JESTER: "So, what are y'all drinking?"
GUEST: "Iced tea."
JESTER: "Get out of my bar!"

I do this with a smile and a twinkle in the eye, of course, and people find it hilarious. Keep in mind, this IS a notorious drinking town, so most people get the joke.

Then there is the OTHER form of that conversation.

JESTER: "So, what are y'all drinking?"
FEMALE GUEST: "Iced tea."
JESTER: "Get out of my bar!"
FEMALE GUEST: "I'm pregnant."
JESTER: "Ah, now there is an excuse I'll take!"
MALE GUEST: "I'll have an iced tea too."
JESTER: "Now, you can't tell me YOU'RE pregnant too!"

As I tell my guests, the "three p's" are the only "excuse" I'll take for not having a "real" drink: pregnant, pilot, or pills. I have said many times that the day I meet a pregnant pilot on medication (pills), I'll quit my job.

[auntiem]

I work in a drugstore, so I hate it when someone asks me where some sort of medication is if they look like they miiiight be pregnant, since if they're pregnant, I'll send them to the pharmacist first so she can consult on what's safe to take. Still haven't figured out a graceful way to ask.

I'm still within childbearing years so all the doctors / pharm techs. / nurses / x-ray techs ask "is there any chance you could be pregnant?" Which is I think the best way to do it. It doesn't imply that I actually look like I am (which I don't) but does make me think about my answer. *

*even thought the first thing that goes thru my mind is to respond like the scene in Baby Boom where she breaks down and cries about not having sex in months

[DGoddessChardonnay]

That's rude, even if you were pregnant. Frankly, it's none of his business whether you are or not, and if you are when you're due.

I was always taught that as well. Never ask a pregnant woman if she's pregnant or when she's due UNLESS she brings up the fact that she is expecting.

Believe it or not, I've been asked that question myself and even when I've weighed more than I do now, I didn't think I looked that heavy.

The ignoramus that asked is very lucky I taught myself manners, otherwise he'd still be spitting out teeth to this day.

[Belari]

Yes and no.

1. Someone can be pregnant and not have it be that obvious if it is in the early or middle stages. Or they could just be overweight. At that point in the (potential) pregnancy, it is not the clearly delineated.

2. There are some overweight women where there IS a lot of weight in their belly, like a guy's beer belly, that could look like a pregnancy.

I know a girl, I would have sworn she was at least 8 months pregnant, but didn't want to ask (figured she'd bring it up if she wanted me to know). Then she was telling a friend and I a story. Apparently the previous day someone had asked when she was due and argued when she said she wasn't pregnant. I figured out later that she'd gained a huge beer belly over the course of the last few months, making her appear to be growing a baby. I am SOOOOO glad I never asked.

[Summerfly413]

I was asked TWICE while in high school if I was pregnant, and I think it was the same girl...
One day(in like 9th grade), I was talking to my friend, and this girl comes up out of nowhere and says "Girl, are you pregnant?!" ...Um...no..Thanks for throwing what little self esteem I had into the ground.
The second time, sometime that same year, or the next year, I was in my gym class, walking around the track. I usually wore large-ish shirts, but nothing super big. Some girls were just sitting in the grass(which you weren't supposed to do, you had to do SOMETHING while we were outside), and one of them asked while I was walking by "Hey!! Are you pregnant?!?!" ...NO! Holy crap.
It's not like I was super fat at either times. About 140 pounds, 5'4" tall. I've lost weight since then, but I've ALWAYS been self consious about my stomach, so NEITHER of those times were fun.

[Sparky]

I was in the hospital 2 days after giving birth and some old jackass who'd come to visit my hospital roommate asked me when my baby was due. Um... Dude, why would I be in the maternity ward if I hadn't already given birth? SORRY if I don't have my figure back TWO DAYS after delivering a 10-pound baby! I was (of course) hormonal as hell and wanted to go off on him, but I couldn't think of anything rude enough to say and besides he was old. And obviously stupid. So I just gave him a dirty look and ignored him.

Interestingly, when I was 5 months pregnant with that same baby, wearing maternity clothes, I was out of town and got sick with flu-like symptoms. I would have toughed it out but I was concerned about the baby, so I called and got an appointment with a local obstetrician. He asked me if I was on the pill!

Apparently, even doctors can't tell just by looking.