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  • Crazy election/conspiracy theory wacko

    A man comes into my store and inquires about a phone number, I didn't hear him clearly and I thought he just wanted to use the phone. So he leaves and comes back with this blonde lady and tells me she would like me to look up a number. I agree, thinking it's going to be quick.

    Little did I know....

    WL: Weird lady
    Me:

    WL: I need the phone number for <presidential candidate>'s campaign manager
    Me: Um...ok
    (I do a quick search and come back with several numbers, including <candidate>'s official campaign number)
    WL: I need you to do this for me because my computers are hacked and my phone's aren't working. There's this huge network out there, they can follow you anywhere, anytime. See that sign *points to sign on wall*, there could be a camera hidden in there right this moment.
    Me: (ok I'm a bit freaked out but curious at the same time) Why do you need this phone number?
    WL:It's urgent I speak with him, there's a secret group trying prevent votes for <candidate> from this state from being counted. It's going to get bad here shortly after the 4th, you watch.
    Me: Ok....
    WL: That's why my phones and computer are hacked, this secret group is trying to keep me from getting in touch with <candidate>'s people, but they won't stop me.
    Me: I don't see any other phone numbers coming up here.
    (sidenote: she had a huge stack of papers with names, phone numbers and other info scrawled all over them)
    WL: *rifling through papers* try <name> or <name>, see if you can find numbers for them.
    Me: Ok (I really didn't have much to do and I figured one or two more searches isn't going to be a big deal) I'm sorry I'm not finding numbers for either of those people.
    WL: Oh no...I need some way to get in contact with them, it's going to be a mess here in <state> before too long. I've got to talk to them.
    Me: Well I'm sorry, there's no other info coming up here. (NOT true, but this where I hop off the train)
    At that point other customers come in. [i](YES! an "out!")
    WL: Well I guess I'll have to go. <mouths but does not vocalize> "Do not tell them anything" (referring to the other customers that just entered)
    Me: I won't.

    Then she and the other guy left. That must have been one of the most unusual things I have ever encountered at work.
    Last edited by CrazedClerkthe2nd; 11-02-2008, 11:31 PM.
    "If we refund your money, give you a free replacement and shoot the manager, then will you be happy?" - sign seen in a restaurant

  • #2
    I'll always value the time I spent at the Budget Value Savings motel because it broadened my horizons. It gives you a totally different view of humanity once you meet people who are totally, absolutely, bonkers crazy. You really haven't lived until you talk to a guest on the phone who is unhappy because the toilet is telling her to do bad things.
    "Them boys ain't zombies! They're just stupid!"

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    • #3
      Quoth Salesmonkey View Post
      You really haven't lived until you talk to a guest on the phone who is unhappy because the toilet is telling her to do bad things.


      Is there more to this story?
      Lady, people aren't chocolates. D'you know what they are mostly? Bastards. Bastard-coated bastards with bastard filling. Dr Cox - Scrubs

      Comment


      • #4
        You really haven't lived until you talk to a guest on the phone who is unhappy because the toilet is telling her to do bad things.
        I um, think I will remain blissfully dead, in that case.
        Supporting the idiots charged with protecting your personal information.

        Comment


        • #5
          Quoth Salesmonkey View Post
          You really haven't lived until you talk to a guest on the phone who is unhappy because the toilet is telling her to do bad things.
          Huh? You mean the toilet normally doesn't tell you to do bad things?

          It did to me when I was little, because I was always sticking inappropriate things in there.

          "Irv!" the toilet would call out to me. "Get your toy boats and flush them down the toilet so it looks like they're being sucked into a whirlpool!"

          Yeah, I got my hide tanned a couple times for overflowing the toilet with those things.

          And now for something completely different--My mother used to work at the county nursing home, and one of the residents once told her that there was "bowel gas" coming into her room through the electrical outlets.
          Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

          "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

          Comment


          • #6
            Quoth Salesmonkey View Post
            You really haven't lived until you talk to a guest on the phone who is unhappy because the toilet is telling her to do bad things.
            or you get the person who calls in every night telling you that they know the guest in 202 is doing drugs... when there is no guest in room 202... for extra bonus kudo points, after they stop for a while, start calling back complaining about the guests in room 131 (there is no room 131... it goes 130, housekeeping office, 132).
            If you wish to find meaning, listen to the music not the song

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            • #7
              Quoth CrazedClerkthe2nd View Post
              See that sign *points to sign on wall*, there could be a camera hidden in there right this moment.
              Should've told her to stay still so they can get a clear picture.
              "Now, don't feel bad. It's not you, it's me. I don't like you." - Aeryn, Farscape

              Suddenly you realize...you're not alone in the Universe - farchild628

              Comment


              • #8
                Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they are not out to get you!
                No longer a flight atttendant!

                Comment


                • #9
                  Oh boy. This is one thread where I CAN chime in despite being out of Customer Service. I have heard from various members of our website in the last year that...

                  -Candidate A's books were ghostwritten by terrorists
                  -Candidate B is a member of the KKK
                  -The election has been stolen by illegal manipulation by Candidate A
                  -The election has been stolen by illegal manipulation by Candidate B
                  -Candidate A is training his children to be secret Jihadists
                  -Candidate B beats his wife
                  -Candidate A will take away a trillion dollars from white people and give it to Africa as reparations for taking their people for slaves
                  -Candidate B is only running so that he can nuke the rest of the world
                  -Candidate A wants to enslave white people
                  -Candidate B wants to take away women's right to vote
                  -Candidate A is being controlled by the military
                  -Candidate B is being controlled by the military
                  -Candidate A hates women
                  -Candidate B hates women

                  It goes on.
                  My basic dog food advice - send a pm if you need more.

                  Saydrah's leaving the nest advice + packing list live here.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Ah, I can beat you all.

                    I've been called "One of Them!"

                    Yeppers, there is a country wide conspiracy involving the security forces, government agencies and communications networks.

                    Over cats.

                    Apparently I'm involved. Yippee! Now, where's my black suit...
                    A PSA, if I may, as well as another.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Quoth Saydrah View Post
                      Oh boy. This is one thread where I CAN chime in despite being out of Customer Service. I have heard from various members of our website in the last year that...

                      -Candidate A's books were ghostwritten by terrorists
                      -Candidate B is a member of the KKK
                      -The election has been stolen by illegal manipulation by Candidate A
                      -The election has been stolen by illegal manipulation by Candidate B
                      -Candidate A is training his children to be secret Jihadists
                      -Candidate B beats his wife
                      -Candidate A will take away a trillion dollars from white people and give it to Africa as reparations for taking their people for slaves
                      -Candidate B is only running so that he can nuke the rest of the world
                      -Candidate A wants to enslave white people
                      -Candidate B wants to take away women's right to vote
                      -Candidate A is being controlled by the military
                      -Candidate B is being controlled by the military
                      -Candidate A hates women
                      -Candidate B hates women

                      It goes on.
                      I blame the Internet.
                      "If we refund your money, give you a free replacement and shoot the manager, then will you be happy?" - sign seen in a restaurant

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I had one lady who claimed that BOTH McCain and Obama were working tougher to steal the election from the "real candidate."

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I hate working in customer service during elections. We're sitting ducks for all the crazies.

                          I'd rather work Christmas Eve than election day, for all the stupid shit I hear. Seriously.

                          If you have to ask, it's probably better posted at www.fratching.com

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Todays' the big day for you guys.

                            I wish you the best in the coming election either way.

                            And I think the only nutcase I ever had was a guy at the casino who claimed the world was being controlled by the Russians (Even after I told him the casino was owned by a nice asian man (I dont know if he was actually nice, but you still dont insult the owner))
                            Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Quoth Saydrah View Post
                              -Candidate A's books were ghostwritten by terrorists
                              -Candidate B is a member of the KKK
                              -The election has been stolen by illegal manipulation by Candidate A
                              -The election has been stolen by illegal manipulation by Candidate B
                              Are these the current candidates? If so, I think I can guess which ones are being accused of what...
                              "I call murder on that!"

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