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Time for yet another round of stupid people!
Please note that I'm being intentionally vague about some of the policies mentioned below to help avoid people going off on a rant about policies. This is about SC's, not eBay policies.
Email #1
Message: THIS CERTAINLY IS A NOTHING ANSWER. I WILL FIND ANOTHER AUCTION SITE TO SELL MY AUTHENTIC DESIGNER STUFF. JUST SELL LOW DOLLAR CRAP ON EBAY.
OMG!!! NOOOO!!! Don't go to another auction site!!! I want the pleasure of suspending your account for selling your "authentic designer stuff"!!! It's not like they aren't obvious fakes or anything....
Email #2
Message: Congratulations to your Live Help team who have managed to frustrate someone who rarely exhibits any aggressive behavior.
WOOT!!! Success at last!!!
Email #3
Ok, some background on this one:
M is my coworker, nice guy, has a sarcastic streak a mile wide.
This particular seller got suspended (7-day, fill out the forms, play nice and you get your account back), and wrote in with the typical rude "WTF? why did you suspend me! I did nothing wrong! reinstate me you fuckers!" that we typically see from these idiots that know what they're doing is bad and try to get away with it hoping we won't catch them. So M gives them the standard response about why we suspended them and how to get reinstated. Nothing out of the ordinary.
They write back throwing a fit, calling M a "stupid idiot", demanding someone that knows what they're doing review his account, etc., etc., and M is the one that gets them, again.
Now, none of us take stuff personally and usually ignore outbursts and insults, but this jerk managed to push all the wrong buttons. M walks up to me telling me he sent it over to me to take care of since I'm more familiar with that particular policy than he is and tells me about the "stupid idiot" and other comments and goes off on a rant about how stupid he must be that was so full of sarcasm you could cut it with a knife.
So I take a look at the account, the items removed, M's response, etc. and everything was done correctly (in fact, I was the one that suspended them
). I tell M this and let him know I what I ended up telling the idiot.
For this particular policy, I'm not only THE expert in it, I helped WRITE the policy AND the responses we send out about it. Management and even our policy team comes to me when they have questions about it. In other words, my word is law when it comes to this policy. They wanted someone who knew what they were doing to review their account, they got it!
I not only tell them that I'm not only very familiar with the policy, but that I helped write it and then proceed to pick apart their arguements about why their items/account should be reinstated. This includes pointing out that they were not only OBVIOUSLY selling the not-allowed item, but blatantly trying to cirumvent the policy, which is a big no-no. I explain all this and the policies to them in terms a brain-dead snail can understand. There is no "canned response" at all in this, it's all me typing it up right then and there and shooting holes in every arguement they made and leaving no doubts as to our stance on this policy.
So then we get THIS repsonse from the assmunch:
You guys are such hypocrites. You say you can make a guide that shows people how to level but wont allow a guide that shows people how to get good gear. How bout knocking on <M's> cubicle next to yours and tell him you both are on the same intelectual plain. The only game you seem to play is with me. Now stop it and reinstate my account freaking hypocrite!
Ok, now he's managed to push all the wrong buttons with me too, and I'm have a particularly lousy day anyway. I've had enough of them and idiots like them. There is no reasoning with them and they will keep violating policy, intentionally. It's time to teach them a lesson. Here is my response:
As I told you before, your listings were obviously for <items> and you were clearly trying to circumvent policy.
Your account will not be reinstated.
We have reviewed this several times and the correct action was taken. Any future emails will be deleted without a response.
Yes, this moron managed to get the coveted "final response" from us!
I then put a note on their account saying that their 7 day suspension was now "indefinite".
As indicated by the title of the post - don't piss off the person who is reviewing your account. We try to be understanding and helpful, but some people just never learn.
I think it's time to raid the liquor cabinet...
Please note that I'm being intentionally vague about some of the policies mentioned below to help avoid people going off on a rant about policies. This is about SC's, not eBay policies.
Email #1
Message: THIS CERTAINLY IS A NOTHING ANSWER. I WILL FIND ANOTHER AUCTION SITE TO SELL MY AUTHENTIC DESIGNER STUFF. JUST SELL LOW DOLLAR CRAP ON EBAY.
OMG!!! NOOOO!!! Don't go to another auction site!!! I want the pleasure of suspending your account for selling your "authentic designer stuff"!!! It's not like they aren't obvious fakes or anything....
Email #2
Message: Congratulations to your Live Help team who have managed to frustrate someone who rarely exhibits any aggressive behavior.
WOOT!!! Success at last!!!
Email #3
Ok, some background on this one:
M is my coworker, nice guy, has a sarcastic streak a mile wide.
This particular seller got suspended (7-day, fill out the forms, play nice and you get your account back), and wrote in with the typical rude "WTF? why did you suspend me! I did nothing wrong! reinstate me you fuckers!" that we typically see from these idiots that know what they're doing is bad and try to get away with it hoping we won't catch them. So M gives them the standard response about why we suspended them and how to get reinstated. Nothing out of the ordinary.
They write back throwing a fit, calling M a "stupid idiot", demanding someone that knows what they're doing review his account, etc., etc., and M is the one that gets them, again.
Now, none of us take stuff personally and usually ignore outbursts and insults, but this jerk managed to push all the wrong buttons. M walks up to me telling me he sent it over to me to take care of since I'm more familiar with that particular policy than he is and tells me about the "stupid idiot" and other comments and goes off on a rant about how stupid he must be that was so full of sarcasm you could cut it with a knife.
So I take a look at the account, the items removed, M's response, etc. and everything was done correctly (in fact, I was the one that suspended them
). I tell M this and let him know I what I ended up telling the idiot.For this particular policy, I'm not only THE expert in it, I helped WRITE the policy AND the responses we send out about it. Management and even our policy team comes to me when they have questions about it. In other words, my word is law when it comes to this policy. They wanted someone who knew what they were doing to review their account, they got it!
I not only tell them that I'm not only very familiar with the policy, but that I helped write it and then proceed to pick apart their arguements about why their items/account should be reinstated. This includes pointing out that they were not only OBVIOUSLY selling the not-allowed item, but blatantly trying to cirumvent the policy, which is a big no-no. I explain all this and the policies to them in terms a brain-dead snail can understand. There is no "canned response" at all in this, it's all me typing it up right then and there and shooting holes in every arguement they made and leaving no doubts as to our stance on this policy.
So then we get THIS repsonse from the assmunch:
You guys are such hypocrites. You say you can make a guide that shows people how to level but wont allow a guide that shows people how to get good gear. How bout knocking on <M's> cubicle next to yours and tell him you both are on the same intelectual plain. The only game you seem to play is with me. Now stop it and reinstate my account freaking hypocrite!
Ok, now he's managed to push all the wrong buttons with me too, and I'm have a particularly lousy day anyway. I've had enough of them and idiots like them. There is no reasoning with them and they will keep violating policy, intentionally. It's time to teach them a lesson. Here is my response:
As I told you before, your listings were obviously for <items> and you were clearly trying to circumvent policy.
Your account will not be reinstated.
We have reviewed this several times and the correct action was taken. Any future emails will be deleted without a response.
Yes, this moron managed to get the coveted "final response" from us!
I then put a note on their account saying that their 7 day suspension was now "indefinite".
As indicated by the title of the post - don't piss off the person who is reviewing your account. We try to be understanding and helpful, but some people just never learn.
I think it's time to raid the liquor cabinet...
At least some good came out of it--I got him into trouble over it
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