Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

I am a Racist and a Thief. Everyone should sue me. (Long)

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • I am a Racist and a Thief. Everyone should sue me. (Long)

    So it was a typical weekend at my lovely liquor store. I managed to somehow score Friday, Saturday and Sunday night closing shifts on a weekend that included 420 and a Canucks hockey game. Sweet.

    Quick note: I am a short blonde girl with pale white skin. This is important.

    Drunk and Violent:
    Friday night on 420 and apparently the festivities started a wee bit early for this older gentleman. I was coming back from the food court with a iny bit of food that I was hoping would be my dinner when I noticed one of my male employees standing with the store door propped open, looking out into the crowds of people. This can only mean bad things at my work.
    Turns out, an older guy, maybe around 50-55 years old, had come into the store completely plastered. He was stumbling, knocking into things, and even made the stupid decision to brag to one of my female CW's that he had been drinking since 9am. Understandably, female CW was not impressed and kindly informed him that he would be getting no more beer from us.
    His reaction was to try smack his heavily loaded tool bag (He'd been working with tools while drunk!!) into her face. Luckily, her fast reflexes meant that he only smacked into her arm.
    Male CW is understandably upset, grabs drunk guy by the jacket and throws him out the door.
    This is where I arrive.
    After I get the gist of the story, I quickly call mall security and keep an eye on the drunk guy at a very safe distance. Unfortunately, he decides that he wants to retrieve his manhood, so he turns around and re-enters the store. By now, the story of what happened has spread to the customers now at the till, among them some very strong male regulars that do not approve of violence against women.
    This wonderful story ends with drunk guy getting dragged back out of the store and thrown to the ground. Every time he tried to get up, he would just get thrown back to the ground with the suggestion that it may be better just to stay down.
    Security finally turns up and guy is dragged from the mall.
    Male regulars, our heros, get a hefty discount and free swag.

    I'm Not Under the Influence:
    Not even 5 minutes after the last incident, I am just about to start eating my dinner and I have 2nd female CW approach me. She has someone in her line who appears to be under the influence. She's refused to serve her, but the customer, a woman with darker skin (SC) who is crying quite a bit, is refusing to leave the store.
    Me: Hi There.
    SC: She (pointing to my CW) is refusing to serve me!
    Me: Yes, I've actually spoken to her and she felt you were under the influence and so she didn't feel comfortable serving you.
    SC: I'm not drunk! I've had nothing to drink all day!
    Me: Unfortunately we have witnessed you swaying on your feet and bumping into things. And right now you're swaying quite a lot and much of your speech appears slurred.
    SC: I have cancer! My medicine makes me sway.
    Me: In that case we wouldn't feel comfortable selling to you as we don't know how your medicine would react with alcohol.
    SC: It's my condition. It's a genetic disorder. I'm always like this. I can't help it. You're discriminating against my disability!
    Me: Oookay. Well unfortunately we don't feel comfortable serving you alcohol tonight.
    SC: You just won't serve me because I'm black. You're discriminating against me! I have cancer. I can't help this! I want the police here! I won't move until the police are here.
    Me: I'm not going to call the police. I am however going to call security
    SC: Yes! Call security. You're racist and I'm going to sue you!

    Security turns up quickly. It's the same guys that had escorted drunk guy out just minutes before. They manage to convince her to step outside to talk.
    20 minutes later (I'm not even making this up), the lady finally leaves the mall. Turns out it was her first time celebrating 420. She admitted to having smoked marijuana for the first time but felt since she wasn't drunk that we should've still had to serve her. Umm, no. It's 'under the influence', not just 'under the influence of alcohol'.

    As security leaves they utter "That's 2. You only get 3. Use your last wisely".
    Security are all buttheads.
    I finally got to eat my dinner.

    Almost Convinced Me:
    Saturday night and the customers are at it again.
    It's busy as hell so I've jumped onto the spare back till to get the lines of people down.
    Have a young guy come up to my till and buy some beer. While serving him, I notice another guy approach from the direction of the cooler and stand behind the first guy. I notice he has a 6 pack of a popular beer in his hand, but he's holding it in a awkward way, slightly hiding it behind his bulk. As the transaction progresses, the guy moves from behind the first guy in the line, to the other side of him by the open door. When I finally finish the transaction, both guys go to exit the store.
    Me: Excuse me. Can I please see a receipt?
    SC: (Coming back inside and placing the beer on the counter) I didn't buy this from this store.
    Me: That's fine. Can I just see the receipt then?
    SC: I bought this from another liquor store. I never keep the receipts.
    Me: Okay. Unfortunately, in order for me to let you leave this store you need to show me some sort of proof of purchase.
    SC: I never keep receipts. I bought this from government liquor store.
    Me: Well did you let anyone know that you had already purchased the beer when you first entered the store?
    SC: No. It's a free country. There's no law that says I have to tell people.
    Me: Unfortunately you are in a liquor store that sells this same product. I'm going to need to see some proof of purchase or I can't let you leave this store with it.
    SC: I've been standing next to the door this whole time.
    Me: I noticed you arrive from the direction of the coolers.
    SC: You're just a racist bitch.

    This continued for a while. My male CW approached us and stood nearby but didn't get himself involved. He just stood on standby.
    The SC went on for a while, proclaiming his innocence and calling me a horrible racist for singling him out. His friends called out from outside to hurry him up. He loudly let everyone know that he didn't have time for this and that he had to leave. Why was I being so racist and hateful?
    He went to grab the beer from the counter so I move to hold onto it. I wasn't pulling it, but I was making it so he would have to put in a bit or power to take it away from me.

    SC: I'm leaving. Let go of my beer.
    Me: I can clear this up in 5 minutes if you let me look at the playback of the security camera feed.
    SC: You're a racist bitch. I'm going to sue you and everyone in this store.
    Me: Okay, but I'm going to have to keep the beer.
    SC: Fuck you all! You're stealing my beer! I'm out of here. I'm going to sue this racist store for everything you have!

    He storms out of the store.
    A couple of customers who witnessed everything leave their details, just in case.
    I go upstairs with the beer to check the camera feed.
    The guy had walked into the store empty-handed and pulled the exact beer out of our coolers.
    Damn bastard had kept to his story for so long that I was starting to think he was telling the truth.
    I left my passive-aggressivly written incident report on the staff board for everyone to enjoy.

    BONUS STORIES!

    Racist:
    CW: Hi, can I see 2 pieces of government ID please?
    SC: You're a racist bitch! You're only asking me because I'm black!
    CW:
    SC: You didn't ask that white bitch in front of me for ID. You're racist!
    CW: Umm, I didn't ask her for ID because she has grey hair, a walking stick, and she showed me pictures of her grandchildren.
    SC: ....
    CW: And you look like you're 16 years old.
    SC: ...
    CW: 2 pieces of ID or get out of the store.
    SC: ...here you go.

    Cat Suit:
    Guy comes in wearing a cat suit. When asked, tells us it's laundry day.
    Well played.

    Pregnant:
    Small collection of my stories when people decide to ask me when I'm due. It's called a pot-belly people!

    SC: Oh my God! You must be due really soon.
    Me: Nope, just really fat. Think I might go home and cut myself now. Thanks.
    SC: ...

    SC: You must be the girl who's pregnant that people have been talking about!
    Me: Nope. Fat as hell. My self esteem is now at an all time low. Time to hit the gym. Come on fatty, we can do this.
    SC: ...

    SC: You must be due soon.
    Me: Nope. Fat. Hey CW! I just got called fat again!
    CW: Who the hell was it? I'll frickin' kill them!
    SC: ...

    SC: When are you due?
    Me: Well *sniff*, it was supposed to be in June, but then there was so much blood and all I remember was screaming
    SC:

  • #2
    Sympathies especially on the last point! Totally fed up of people offering me their seat on the bus- I'm fat not pregnant too!

    Comment


    • #3
      Quoth SansDoute View Post
      SC: When are you due?
      Me: Well *sniff*, it was supposed to be in June, but then there was so much blood and all I remember was screaming
      SC:
      That was the one that almost cost me a ban at the library.

      Comment


      • #4
        Ok the come backs for the pregnant comments are great! You are evil. I like you

        And the rest of your customers are crazy.
        Coffee should be strong, black and chewy! It should strip paint and frighten small children.

        My blog Darkwynd's Musings

        Comment


        • #5
          What Elspeth said, LOL!

          Comment


          • #6
            That last one...wow...LOL!!

            Comment


            • #7
              Like they say, unless you see a baby actually coming out of a woman, don't ask her when she's due.

              This has happened to a friend of mine a few times. The trouble is, before she was called "Miranda", HE was called Charles.
              "All I've ever learned from love was how to shoot somebody who out-drew ya"

              Comment


              • #8
                Your store sounds like "everyday is an adventure!" Although 420 combined with hockey? Yeah. . . no way anything could go wrong.

                Also, regarding the first asshole, glad that something was done about that prick, I dont care how drunk you are, flinging a toolbag at someone = immediate asskicking in my book.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Naw, not all security are buttheads! I think I'd have fun with your store; I'd never be bored!

                  Hee, nice comebacks on the pregnant thing; I'm gonna try them.

                  Hee, cat suit...
                  "If anyone wants this old box containing the broken bits of my former faith in humanity, I'll take your best offer now. You may be able to salvage a few of em' for parts..... " - Quote by Argabarga

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Another good thing to do with the 'when are you due?' kind of remark (this is also fun if you ARE pregnant) is to fix the questioner with an agitated stare and say that actually you think you might be in labour right now....... Most people are scared witless about a woman giving birth in their presence, in case they might be called on to, you know, help in some way - watch 'em, they'll skedaddle so fast they'll leave scorch marks....
                    Engaged to the sweet Mytical He is my Black Dragon (and yes, a good one) strong, protective, the guardian. I am his Silver Dragon, always by his side, shining for him, cherishing him.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Quoth SansDoute View Post
                      As security leaves they utter "That's 2. You only get 3. Use your last wisely".
                      Security are all buttheads.
                      Please tell me that they were making a poor attempt at a joke.
                      I never lost my faith in humanity. Can't lose what you never had right?

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Quoth SansDoute View Post
                        SC: You didn't ask that white bitch in front of me for ID. You're racist!
                        CW: Umm, I didn't ask her for ID because she has grey hair...
                        Ah, so you're not racist; you're hairist!

                        (That's some pre-breakfast humor.)

                        Seriously, though, those were great stories. This is yet another situation where I'm torn between hoping (for your sake) that this stuff is not common and hoping (for my sake) that you have lots more stories to tell.
                        I suspect that... inside every adult (sometimes not very far inside) is a bratty kid who wants everything his own way.
                        - Bill Watterson

                        My co-workers: They're there when they need me.
                        - IPF

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          The only times I ask a woman "when is it due?" are 1: When she has just informed me herself that she is pregnant; 2: When I have just arrived at the bus stop she is waiting at....


                          Anything else is a nono.
                          Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. -Groucho Marx

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Quoth Mongo Skruddgemire View Post
                            Please tell me that they were making a poor attempt at a joke.
                            Ha! Yes. It was their poor attempt at a joke.
                            To be honest, the security guards love our store simply because it gives them something to do.
                            Also because they can hide out there during the hockey games and if their superiors ask, simply say we had a couple of drunks hanging around.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Damn, you guys deal with a lot in liquor stores. Also, as a security guard, (though not employed at a mall) those guys were dicks, but I can assure you, not all of us are like that.

                              Also, those were KICKASS comebacks for the pregnancy questions. I get those all the time and I am gonna have to steal those.
                              http://www.customerssuck.com/?p=7499
                              Now appearing in comic form!

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X