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I’d be a Monk first!
Back in 2004 I was working for a Franchise Box company as a warehouse manager. For the record they sold boxes, they did not manufacture them they just sold them. Each client would have automated deliveries sent to them but we kept a week supply on hand just in case there was an issue with the manufactures.
Now I had been with them for a while and did not have many complaints, but there were some issues. First off they were still relying on paper tickets as Corporate would not splurge on them upgrading, so I built my first computer and brought them into the 21st century. I bar coded cataloged and streamlined the entire warehouse. At any point I could tell them with in a moment’s notice how much of what we had and how much space was available for new product, and exactly where it was in the warehouse. To them this was insane the last guy took 2 weeks to find his arse.
The next issue was the head case, see we had three sales guys. We will call them Tom, Dick, and Harry. Well Tom ran the Franchise and was a decent guy to get along with, Dick was ….well a dick. He was extreme bi-polar ADHD unmediated / self-medicated. Harry was clueless.
Then you have the “Office Assistant” Tom and Dick both made enough sales to require an assistant by the corporate standards, But to save money they would only hire one and expect her to do double the work. So who ever the hapless assistant was they would be worked over by two people and one of who would hide his own paperwork because he thought she was out to get him. In the time I was there they went through 16 Office Assistants.
SO when number 17 was hired corporate informed them that she was the last one. That if she did not work out that their accounts would be managed in the Head Office in IL. We were in TN.
Now Number 17 we will call Mimi (Think Drew Carey) is hired on and she seems to be doing a decent job so long as you are up wind of her. Let me paint you a picture, She weighed in at 300+ did her makeup just like Mimi from the Drew Carey show, she smelled like she shat in her undershorts before putting them on and yes she wore moo, moo’s. (I don’t care about any of it as long as you 1. Do your Job and 2. Leave me alone and let me do mine)
Well as I was the only Single Male in the building Mimi decided I was going to be her conquest, and I decided I would be a castrated monk before that happened. It seems we had come to an impasse. Mimi would ask me out to lunch, and dinner 4 out of the five work days. She would (hint) at how much fun I could (puke) have with her. Every Friday she would invite me over for a weekend party and every Monday tell me how much “fun” I missed. Each time I kept it polite and professional but I refused and dismissed it. Well after a while she started to get highly aggressive at which point I went from polite to
“Mimi there is not enough fecking alcohol in the world for me to ever sleep with you, now leave me alone”
After that she became 100% hostile. Lost orders, mis-routed paperwork, lost my paycheck, attempted to alter my database for inventory, ect ect.
So I finally went to Tom and told him I 1. Needed a vacation and had a week’s leave on the books and 2. While I was gone to please deal with the hostile work environment or I was going to have to leave. I had been with them for a few years by this point. Well Tom agreed and I took a week off. When I got back I was informed my employment was terminated due to Corporate reminding them they will move all the accounts if they lose Mimi.
So I lost my job because I refused to screw a troglodyte…. Karma is a bitch though Harry ended up quitting, Dick ended up being sued by 6 different people and Tom lost his franchise when sales plummeted and lawyers started looking at the books (something about inventory’s and internal audits being emailed by a mystery account).
Now I had been with them for a while and did not have many complaints, but there were some issues. First off they were still relying on paper tickets as Corporate would not splurge on them upgrading, so I built my first computer and brought them into the 21st century. I bar coded cataloged and streamlined the entire warehouse. At any point I could tell them with in a moment’s notice how much of what we had and how much space was available for new product, and exactly where it was in the warehouse. To them this was insane the last guy took 2 weeks to find his arse.
The next issue was the head case, see we had three sales guys. We will call them Tom, Dick, and Harry. Well Tom ran the Franchise and was a decent guy to get along with, Dick was ….well a dick. He was extreme bi-polar ADHD unmediated / self-medicated. Harry was clueless.
Then you have the “Office Assistant” Tom and Dick both made enough sales to require an assistant by the corporate standards, But to save money they would only hire one and expect her to do double the work. So who ever the hapless assistant was they would be worked over by two people and one of who would hide his own paperwork because he thought she was out to get him. In the time I was there they went through 16 Office Assistants.
SO when number 17 was hired corporate informed them that she was the last one. That if she did not work out that their accounts would be managed in the Head Office in IL. We were in TN.
Now Number 17 we will call Mimi (Think Drew Carey) is hired on and she seems to be doing a decent job so long as you are up wind of her. Let me paint you a picture, She weighed in at 300+ did her makeup just like Mimi from the Drew Carey show, she smelled like she shat in her undershorts before putting them on and yes she wore moo, moo’s. (I don’t care about any of it as long as you 1. Do your Job and 2. Leave me alone and let me do mine)
Well as I was the only Single Male in the building Mimi decided I was going to be her conquest, and I decided I would be a castrated monk before that happened. It seems we had come to an impasse. Mimi would ask me out to lunch, and dinner 4 out of the five work days. She would (hint) at how much fun I could (puke) have with her. Every Friday she would invite me over for a weekend party and every Monday tell me how much “fun” I missed. Each time I kept it polite and professional but I refused and dismissed it. Well after a while she started to get highly aggressive at which point I went from polite to
“Mimi there is not enough fecking alcohol in the world for me to ever sleep with you, now leave me alone”
After that she became 100% hostile. Lost orders, mis-routed paperwork, lost my paycheck, attempted to alter my database for inventory, ect ect.
So I finally went to Tom and told him I 1. Needed a vacation and had a week’s leave on the books and 2. While I was gone to please deal with the hostile work environment or I was going to have to leave. I had been with them for a few years by this point. Well Tom agreed and I took a week off. When I got back I was informed my employment was terminated due to Corporate reminding them they will move all the accounts if they lose Mimi.
So I lost my job because I refused to screw a troglodyte…. Karma is a bitch though Harry ended up quitting, Dick ended up being sued by 6 different people and Tom lost his franchise when sales plummeted and lawyers started looking at the books (something about inventory’s and internal audits being emailed by a mystery account).
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