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Stuff you've learned the hard way

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  • Stuff you've learned the hard way

    So what are some of the things at work you wished you would've known before you found them out the hard way? Here's some of mine:

    -"Better than it was" is something to strive for, and often as good as you're going to get.

    -You can't trust anybody but yourself.

    -Don't stoop to an SC's level. Once you're here a while, they become entertainment.

    (True story: I flipped off a customer once over 10 years ago. I forget what happened but I had some loathesome ape of a man bellow "JUST FUCKING FORGET IT!" at me. I shot him the bird behind his back as he walked away and no co-workers or managers saw it. It was probably for the best I did that and didn't give him the "FUCK YOU!" my mouth was getting set to drop. At my job you can be a lazy slob and do nothing but laps around the salesfloor all day, but curse out a customer and you's gone.)
    Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

    "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

  • #2
    Pretty much everything you just said.

    And, more recently....

    The real bullies end up being treated like the victims, and the victims treated like the bullies.
    You really need to see a neurologist. - Wagegoth

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    • #3
      It isn't being good at what you do for a living that gets you anywhere, it's being able to BS and brown nose. The ones that laugh and joke with the managers get promotions & raises, while those guietly doing the real work get nothing.

      Madness takes it's toll....
      Please have exact change ready.

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      • #4
        That bailing people out of the fire means they come to expect being bailed out rather than learning to not walk into the fire to begin with.

        That you should never believe anyone when they say "I don't have an opinion on it" or "oh, use your judgement, I trust you."

        That if someone needs money floated to them one month they will likely not have caught themselves the following month.

        That if you help someone out financially, they are more likely to resent and disrespect you for it than they are to be grateful.

        That your first impression of someone is, sadly enough, pretty fucking accurate.

        That you can't tell someone the girl they're dating is a stalking psychopath rabbit-in-the-kettle sort of girl if the girl gives good head. This rule can be applied to many situations.
        Last edited by RecoveringKinkoid; 03-10-2012, 02:55 AM.

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        • #5
          It is actually better to have a bitchy coworker than an incompetent one because at least then you what to expect.

          Also when bigwigs say they want innovative, creative, and exciting ideas they mean that they want you to think of a way to slightly change things so that they can use lots of big, fluffy, important sounding words to describe it without actually requiring anything from them such as money (even miniscule amounts) or effort.
          Last edited by Solumina; 03-10-2012, 05:08 AM.

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          • #6
            If there's a small plume of what looks like smoke coming out of the copier, do NOT open it.

            ...that's all I got, but trust me, I wish that one had come with a warning. Toner is FOREVER.
            "Maybe the problem just went away...maybe it was the magical sniper fairy that comes and gives silenced hollow point rounds to people who don't eat their vegetables."

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            • #7
              Never demonstrate outside knowledge of anything that is worth being paid for - car repair, IT skills, whatever; if someone knows you know how to do it, they'll ask you for help in any related field no matter how tangental, as well as many other fields which (normal people would realise) aren't related at all, and expect it for free because it's not part of your job description... This will happen with friends, family, co-workers, bosses, and customers.
              This was one of those times where my mouth says "have a nice day" but my brain says "go step on a Lego". - RegisterAce
              I can't make something magically appear to fulfill all your hopes and dreams. Believe me, if I could I'd be the first person I'd help. - Trixie

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              • #8
                It's not always about the work ethic, competence or performance stats that get the promotion but how much work place politicking you do to rise up the ranks.

                Never let your guard down.

                Fake it till ya make it.

                It's not what you know but WHO you know to get the job.

                Never reveal your true intentions and secrets to anyone.

                Business and pleasure don't and never do mix.
                I don't get paid enough to kiss your a**! -Groezig 5/31/08
                Another day...another million braincells lost...-Sarlon 6/16/08
                Chivalry is not dead. It's just direly underappreciated. -Samaliel 9/15/09

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                • #9
                  Quoth MystyGlyttyr View Post
                  Toner is FOREVER.
                  You washed your clothes in hot water. Didn't you.

                  Wisdom from the Kinkoid: copier toner is heat-sensitive. That's why copies come out of the machine hot. The roll over a "fuser" on their way through the machine. The fuser is burning hot metal roller that melts the dry toner powder into the paper and makes the image. If you wash your toner-stained clothes in hot water, you "fuse" the toner right on there.

                  Wash toner spills in COLD water.

                  We now return you to your regularly scheduled thread.

                  Oh, and I learned that the easy way. The other Kinkoids told me when I hired on.

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                  • #10
                    If you know where the (perhaps literal) bodies are buried, you can pull any kind of stupid shit at work and not be fired. Disciplined, maybe...or maybe not.

                    If you're close enough buddies with the boss that he puts his arm around you and says, "How are you?", you're Teflon.

                    Don't bother complaining about co-workers who do things the wrong way, do things they're not supposed to, or don't do things they are supposed to. The only time these things matter to the boss is when YOU are involved.

                    If you're young and cute, you can get away with almost anything.

                    The "open door" policy doesn't mean much when the boss's cubicle doesn't actually have a door.

                    If an upper-level manager sees you doing something you're not supposed to, all hell will break loose. They will, however, ignore any and all information that says their favorites are doing the same thing.

                    If the union can't get you something you want, the union is bad. If the union DOES get you something you want, it's still bad. This is logic according to people who never attend union meetings, never volunteer to help with union activities and can't name the union president without looking it up.
                    When you start at zero, everything's progress.

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                    • #11
                      Never trust your co-workers. And never stay too long at a job just because you're too afraid of being financially ruined. When your usefulness is gone, they'll ruin your life for you.
                      Customers should always be served . . . to the nearest great white.

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                      • #12
                        Agree, nod, smile, and then do whatever you were going to do anyway. As long as you do it well, no one will care.

                        Don't play with manipulative jerks. They'll stop moaning eventually, and that's a lot easier than trying to cope with their head games.

                        And one positive lesson - even if you're scared of doing something, give it a go anyway. You might hate it; you might get something very good out of it.
                        I speak English, L33t, Sarcasm and basic Idiot.

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                        • #13
                          "No." is a complete sentence.

                          Ask questions early in a project. The earlier issues are found, the easier it is to fix.

                          If a bad idea comes from high enough up the management ladder, you're going to have to do it. Try to minimize the inevitable damage while you implement.

                          Treat the receptionists and janitors with respect. They know more about where things are located and where people are than most folks realize. Being friendly with them pays off hugely.

                          Stand up to office bullies the first time. The longer you wait to show them you won't be pushed aroound, the worse that confrontation will be.
                          The Rich keep getting richer because they keep doing what it was that made them rich. Ditto the Poor.
                          "Hy kan tell dey is schmot qvestions, dey is makink my head hurt."
                          Hoc spatio locantur.

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                          • #14
                            If you promise something to a customer that you later realize you probably shouldn't have, sometimes it's better just to let it go and hope nobody else realizes it either. If your conscience gets the better of you, and you confess to management in an effort to clean up your mess, it usually gets you in trouble and doesn't really change anything else since we tend to honor promises made to a customer even if they were done in error.
                            "I was only LOOKING, I didn't mean to enter my card's CVV and actually ORDER! REFUND ME RIGHT NOW!!"

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                            • #15
                              It's better to know you're a valuable person on your own than be a Susan Do-Right Yes Man/Woman Go-Getter "Team Player"

                              Even if no one else ever acknowledges your great attendance, hard work, and patience and only sings the praises of those who kiss up the most and try to force everyone else to be as upbeat as them.
                              You really need to see a neurologist. - Wagegoth

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