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This is my first post, so bear with me. I hope this is the right place for this post; it isn't tech support, but it is phone-related. I work as a receptionist for a small insurance company (we'll call it XYZ Insurance) located somewhere in the western part of the United States. I answer phones all day long and try to connect callers to the claims examiner, underwriter, accountant, auditor, etc. they need to speak with.
Until I took this job, I had no idea how many 5-year-old spoiled brats are living in the bodies of purported adults, nor how widespread stupidity is. I'm going to write this post as if I were talking directly to the morons who call me every day, but here I can say the things I'm not allowed to say directly to the morons!
If you call your insurance company, and you tell me that you are calling with a question about your policy, would you please have the common sense to have the policy number right in front of you? You might know I'm going to ask you for it, and I get SO tired of hearing, "Oh, no, I don't have my policy number, I left it at home." Or, "Yeah, I have it here somewhere (papers rustling, rustling, rustling). Ok, here it is." If you are the claimant, and you are calling to inquire about the status of a claim, please don't make me go through the following: "Do you have the claim number?" "No." "Do you have the policy number?" "No." "Do you have the name of the insured?" "No. Can't you look it up under my name?" "Um, no, because since you're the claimant, I can't pull any information on the claim up unless I have the claim number, the insured's policy number, or the name of the insured. You surely got that information, at least some of it, from the insured or their agent, right?" Apparently not - sigh.
Do NOT, I repeat do NOT, blame the receptionist for the existence of voice mail. I do not appreciate answering the phone, "XYZ Insurance Company," and hearing a sarcastic, "Well, you're the first live person I've reached on this merry-go-round! Does anybody actually WORK at your company? Do NOT transfer me to another voice mail!" Excuse me, but I didn't invent voice mail, I don't like voice mail either, and while I understand your frustration, you will get NOWHERE being sarcastic with me about voice mail.
And to the guy who called me a couple weeks ago, asking for Josie in Accounting (not her real name), and I connected you to Josie's extension. You called me back 10 seconds later, VERY sarcastic, and said, "I asked you for Josie in Accounting, and you gave me her voice mail. Now, I want to talk to Josie, not to her voice mail." Your attitude was, "Get it right, dummy."
Sir, I do not have two buttons on my telephone console, one marked "Live Person" and the other marked "Voice Mail." I did not intentionally, on purpose, connect you to a voice mail. If the person you're asking for is at their desk, you'll get a live person. If they aren't, you'll get their voice mail automatically. I have ZERO control over that. And people walk away from their desks constantly during the day for all kinds of reasons. They might need to use the restroom (how dare they have the audacity to run to the restroom 30 seconds before you call!), they might be sending a fax or making a copy or getting something from the vending machine because they got the munchies. And they do NOT tell the receptionist every time they leave their desk.
Please also keep TIME ZONES in mind. Yes, Mr. Idiot from Philadelphia, this means you. You called and wanted one of our claims examiners, and I explained that particular person was not in the office yet because her shift started at 8:30, and it was only 8:15 at the time you called. "It's 11:15," you informed me. "No, sir, where I'm at, it's 8:15," I said. You argued with me for several minutes before realizing that hey, maybe I'm in a different state in a different time zone than you. Well, duh! (This also applies if you call during our lunchtime, and it's mid-afternoon where you are. I cannot connect you to someone who is AT LUNCH at the time you call!)
The all-time stupid question I've gotten as a receptionist, and I've gotten it from more people than I care to count, goes like this:
SC: I'd like to talk to Joe Blow please.
Me: I'm sorry, Mr. Blow is on another call right now. Would you like to leave a message on his voice mail, or would you like to hold?
SC: Well, how long is he gonna be on the phone?
People, people, people, I am not a psychic. If I knew how long a phone call between two other people was going to last, I would not be answering phones for an insurance company. I would have my own 900 psychic hotline number and be making oodles of money! I am SO tempted to say to these dummies, "Well, let me get out my magic crystal ball and check. Yes, my magic crystal ball shows me that Mr. Blow will be on the phone for another two minutes and 10 seconds." Or, "Oh, I'm so sorry. The magic crystal ball tells me Mr. Blow will be on this other call for at least another 35 minutes."
Finally, if you call, and I tell you the person you want to talk to is on the phone with another caller, do NOT expect me to interrupt their phone call to let them know you are on the phone waiting to talk to them. If claims examiner Jill is on the phone, and you call and want to talk to Jill about your claim, and I tell you Jill is on another call, I am not allowed to call Jill and tell her you're on the line. If I try to call her, I myself will automatically get her voice mail, BECAUSE she's on the phone. If she sees on her caller ID that the receptionist is calling and puts her caller on hold to find out what I want, and I tell her you're on the line for her, her response will be, "Put him on hold or put him through to my voice mail; I'm on the phone with somebody else right now!" So you have one of four choices: You can leave a voice mail for Jill. You can leave a message with me to give to Jill. You can be put on hold until Jill is done with her current caller. Or you can call back a little bit later and hope she's no longer on the phone. Them's your choices. You can NOT butt into her current phone conversation, because you are NOT more important than the person she's currently talking to. It's called "wait your turn," and you were supposed to learn it in kindergarten.
And by the way, also do not ask me if so-and-so is at their desk. I sit in the front lobby (receptionist, remember?) I am not allowed to leave the front lobby and walk back through the office to see who's at their desk and who's not. And I don't have x-ray vision, so I can't see through walls and around corners. I have no way of knowing who is at their desk at any given moment. Don't ask me. Thank you.
I have TONS more but this is long enough for now!!
Ihateanswering phones!!!!!!
Until I took this job, I had no idea how many 5-year-old spoiled brats are living in the bodies of purported adults, nor how widespread stupidity is. I'm going to write this post as if I were talking directly to the morons who call me every day, but here I can say the things I'm not allowed to say directly to the morons!
If you call your insurance company, and you tell me that you are calling with a question about your policy, would you please have the common sense to have the policy number right in front of you? You might know I'm going to ask you for it, and I get SO tired of hearing, "Oh, no, I don't have my policy number, I left it at home." Or, "Yeah, I have it here somewhere (papers rustling, rustling, rustling). Ok, here it is." If you are the claimant, and you are calling to inquire about the status of a claim, please don't make me go through the following: "Do you have the claim number?" "No." "Do you have the policy number?" "No." "Do you have the name of the insured?" "No. Can't you look it up under my name?" "Um, no, because since you're the claimant, I can't pull any information on the claim up unless I have the claim number, the insured's policy number, or the name of the insured. You surely got that information, at least some of it, from the insured or their agent, right?" Apparently not - sigh.
Do NOT, I repeat do NOT, blame the receptionist for the existence of voice mail. I do not appreciate answering the phone, "XYZ Insurance Company," and hearing a sarcastic, "Well, you're the first live person I've reached on this merry-go-round! Does anybody actually WORK at your company? Do NOT transfer me to another voice mail!" Excuse me, but I didn't invent voice mail, I don't like voice mail either, and while I understand your frustration, you will get NOWHERE being sarcastic with me about voice mail.
And to the guy who called me a couple weeks ago, asking for Josie in Accounting (not her real name), and I connected you to Josie's extension. You called me back 10 seconds later, VERY sarcastic, and said, "I asked you for Josie in Accounting, and you gave me her voice mail. Now, I want to talk to Josie, not to her voice mail." Your attitude was, "Get it right, dummy."
Sir, I do not have two buttons on my telephone console, one marked "Live Person" and the other marked "Voice Mail." I did not intentionally, on purpose, connect you to a voice mail. If the person you're asking for is at their desk, you'll get a live person. If they aren't, you'll get their voice mail automatically. I have ZERO control over that. And people walk away from their desks constantly during the day for all kinds of reasons. They might need to use the restroom (how dare they have the audacity to run to the restroom 30 seconds before you call!), they might be sending a fax or making a copy or getting something from the vending machine because they got the munchies. And they do NOT tell the receptionist every time they leave their desk.
Please also keep TIME ZONES in mind. Yes, Mr. Idiot from Philadelphia, this means you. You called and wanted one of our claims examiners, and I explained that particular person was not in the office yet because her shift started at 8:30, and it was only 8:15 at the time you called. "It's 11:15," you informed me. "No, sir, where I'm at, it's 8:15," I said. You argued with me for several minutes before realizing that hey, maybe I'm in a different state in a different time zone than you. Well, duh! (This also applies if you call during our lunchtime, and it's mid-afternoon where you are. I cannot connect you to someone who is AT LUNCH at the time you call!)
The all-time stupid question I've gotten as a receptionist, and I've gotten it from more people than I care to count, goes like this:
SC: I'd like to talk to Joe Blow please.
Me: I'm sorry, Mr. Blow is on another call right now. Would you like to leave a message on his voice mail, or would you like to hold?
SC: Well, how long is he gonna be on the phone?
People, people, people, I am not a psychic. If I knew how long a phone call between two other people was going to last, I would not be answering phones for an insurance company. I would have my own 900 psychic hotline number and be making oodles of money! I am SO tempted to say to these dummies, "Well, let me get out my magic crystal ball and check. Yes, my magic crystal ball shows me that Mr. Blow will be on the phone for another two minutes and 10 seconds." Or, "Oh, I'm so sorry. The magic crystal ball tells me Mr. Blow will be on this other call for at least another 35 minutes."
Finally, if you call, and I tell you the person you want to talk to is on the phone with another caller, do NOT expect me to interrupt their phone call to let them know you are on the phone waiting to talk to them. If claims examiner Jill is on the phone, and you call and want to talk to Jill about your claim, and I tell you Jill is on another call, I am not allowed to call Jill and tell her you're on the line. If I try to call her, I myself will automatically get her voice mail, BECAUSE she's on the phone. If she sees on her caller ID that the receptionist is calling and puts her caller on hold to find out what I want, and I tell her you're on the line for her, her response will be, "Put him on hold or put him through to my voice mail; I'm on the phone with somebody else right now!" So you have one of four choices: You can leave a voice mail for Jill. You can leave a message with me to give to Jill. You can be put on hold until Jill is done with her current caller. Or you can call back a little bit later and hope she's no longer on the phone. Them's your choices. You can NOT butt into her current phone conversation, because you are NOT more important than the person she's currently talking to. It's called "wait your turn," and you were supposed to learn it in kindergarten.
And by the way, also do not ask me if so-and-so is at their desk. I sit in the front lobby (receptionist, remember?) I am not allowed to leave the front lobby and walk back through the office to see who's at their desk and who's not. And I don't have x-ray vision, so I can't see through walls and around corners. I have no way of knowing who is at their desk at any given moment. Don't ask me. Thank you.
I have TONS more but this is long enough for now!!
Ihateanswering phones!!!!!!
. I now have a kidney bean or two up my nose thanks to you. (I'm serious, it hurts.)
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