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So after being in hospital for 2 days with a relapse of my depression/anxiety and now the welcome addition of a possible eating disorder. Wave hi to it! 
End result from that visit:
-Referral to a state-funded mental health services clinic near home. More about this in a minute.
-Going on a particular medication. So far they seem to be keen on Prozac to help with the weight issue and the fact that the side effects are minimal otherwise. (I stack on weight REALLY easily and can't lose it no matter what, unless it's that-time-of-the-month weight gain) I'm going to ask about other alternatives and whether they'll actually be of any benefit (wellbutrin is looking like an option and with close monitoring may actually work since I know it can increase the risk of seizures)
-Referral to the Eating Disorders Unit/Clinic. They haven't told me what exactly, but given that I don't puke after every meal and I only starved myself for the time I was in the hospital (and dinner prior to that), I doubt it's anorexia or bulimia.
-Removal of the Implanon. I've been realising that I had the exact same symptoms (or fairly close to) while I've been on the implant the first time around and while it's rare, it has been known to cause anxiety in some patients. A lot of my issues are anxiety based which triggers the depression. (although this one seems to be the opposite). I'm doing a trial run with condoms before I go off of it completely so I can at least discuss contraceptive options with the doctor. Given I'm on iron tablets now to boost my ferritin levels, I may ask about other ways to manage the issues that led me to go on the implant in the first place (over other hormonal contraceptives). (the issues were mainly severe cramping and a feeling of fatigue/lightheadedness whenever I started my period at school/work/uni, but if it started at home, I could cope MOST of the time.)
-The suggestion was made for me to go on DBT. The reason behind it, is that I seem to be slapped with the borderline personality disorder label on and off like it's the flavour of the month (like seriously, at my last mental health review, the doc actually removed said label when I admitted I wasn't suicidal-I'm not now, but probably need some more help with the expression of frustration and desperation in a healthy way as well as learning about patience :P). At the moment, the label seems to be firmly "on" again (ugh). And this is where the state-funded counselling comes in.
I already see a therapist once a month (federally funded) with email support if needed. The state counselling will consist of an assessment plus any extra intensive sessions if I need it. Last time I spoke with them (assessment only), they wanted me to go back on DBT. To give you a picture of my mental state at THAT time, the thoughts I was having were kind of like one of those bopping clowns filled completely up with bricks (as in to the brim)-you couldn't punch it down no matter what.
Now, it's kind of like the clown has some sand in it. You can punch it down but it always comes back at you and just beats you down until you're worn out from fighting it.
The lady who runs the DBT program is incredibly condescending. I have trust issues as it is and I thought the point for any therapy to actually work was to form a bond with your therapist/s. Not be treated like a 4-year-old and told that everything you were taught as a kid was wrong.
I'm just scared of having to give up everything to go on it. I want to be in a position where I can handle a situation without having to distract myself from it, where I'm standing up for what I believe in and where I can actually be allowed to question things that don't seem right.
I want to look at therapies that address the trust issues first. But it seems like they're not going to allow it.
End result from that visit:
-Referral to a state-funded mental health services clinic near home. More about this in a minute.
-Going on a particular medication. So far they seem to be keen on Prozac to help with the weight issue and the fact that the side effects are minimal otherwise. (I stack on weight REALLY easily and can't lose it no matter what, unless it's that-time-of-the-month weight gain) I'm going to ask about other alternatives and whether they'll actually be of any benefit (wellbutrin is looking like an option and with close monitoring may actually work since I know it can increase the risk of seizures)
-Referral to the Eating Disorders Unit/Clinic. They haven't told me what exactly, but given that I don't puke after every meal and I only starved myself for the time I was in the hospital (and dinner prior to that), I doubt it's anorexia or bulimia.
-Removal of the Implanon. I've been realising that I had the exact same symptoms (or fairly close to) while I've been on the implant the first time around and while it's rare, it has been known to cause anxiety in some patients. A lot of my issues are anxiety based which triggers the depression. (although this one seems to be the opposite). I'm doing a trial run with condoms before I go off of it completely so I can at least discuss contraceptive options with the doctor. Given I'm on iron tablets now to boost my ferritin levels, I may ask about other ways to manage the issues that led me to go on the implant in the first place (over other hormonal contraceptives). (the issues were mainly severe cramping and a feeling of fatigue/lightheadedness whenever I started my period at school/work/uni, but if it started at home, I could cope MOST of the time.)
-The suggestion was made for me to go on DBT. The reason behind it, is that I seem to be slapped with the borderline personality disorder label on and off like it's the flavour of the month (like seriously, at my last mental health review, the doc actually removed said label when I admitted I wasn't suicidal-I'm not now, but probably need some more help with the expression of frustration and desperation in a healthy way as well as learning about patience :P). At the moment, the label seems to be firmly "on" again (ugh). And this is where the state-funded counselling comes in.
I already see a therapist once a month (federally funded) with email support if needed. The state counselling will consist of an assessment plus any extra intensive sessions if I need it. Last time I spoke with them (assessment only), they wanted me to go back on DBT. To give you a picture of my mental state at THAT time, the thoughts I was having were kind of like one of those bopping clowns filled completely up with bricks (as in to the brim)-you couldn't punch it down no matter what.
Now, it's kind of like the clown has some sand in it. You can punch it down but it always comes back at you and just beats you down until you're worn out from fighting it.
The lady who runs the DBT program is incredibly condescending. I have trust issues as it is and I thought the point for any therapy to actually work was to form a bond with your therapist/s. Not be treated like a 4-year-old and told that everything you were taught as a kid was wrong.
I'm just scared of having to give up everything to go on it. I want to be in a position where I can handle a situation without having to distract myself from it, where I'm standing up for what I believe in and where I can actually be allowed to question things that don't seem right.
I want to look at therapies that address the trust issues first. But it seems like they're not going to allow it.