Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Purina diet

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Purina diet

    Got this in an email:

    I used to have a Labrador retriever & I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out.
    A customer behind me asked if I had a dog.

    On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again.

    I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete.

    I said that I was going to try it again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

    I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy who was behind her.

    Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up like that because I'd been poisoned.

    I told her no, I'd been sitting in the street licking my ass and a car hit me.

    I thought the tall guy was going to have to stagger out the door he was laughing so hard.
    Too tired of living and too tired to end it. What a conundrum.

  • #2
    I can't breathe.....good lord.....

    Comment


    • #3
      There goes Rule 1....

      Thats the funniest thing i've read in months. I nearly wet myself.
      A person who is nice to you, but not nice to the waiter is not a nice person
      - Dave Barry

      Comment


      • #4
        This joke shall inherit the Intarbuttz.
        "We were put on this Earth to fart around, and don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise." -Kurt Vonnegut

        Comment

        Working...
        X