*headdesk*

[RootedPhoenix]

*hugs kanalah* I love you. Don't go away.

[Kanalah]

I woke up this morning to the cat laying on my back purring away. Who wouldn't want to wake up to that?

I feel a lot better today, although I have lost my voice.

I have 6 different people's numbers, so plenty of people to bother when I have insomnia in VA.

My son was crying all day yesterday saying "no mommy don't go!" Which yeah made me feel even worse.

I did log into chat and that was really great. If I can get MIL's computer out of the stone age, I might hang out in there for a bit.

I feel really bad that I got everyone all worked up. I don't think anyone wants Jester mad at them. Just when I get all stressed out that voice in my head comes out and starts whispering mean things.

[Jester]

I don't think anyone wants Jester mad at them.

This is a good thing. I think. Well, at least it's good to know I'm having some kind of effect.....even if it's the effect of an evil ogre.

[morgana]

Kanalah,

I'm late to the party, as usual, but I'll join the chorus of "Don't you dare!"

I've heard that little mean voice as well. Hateful little thing, ain't it? You know what helps me when it's whispering? I stop and listen for a second, and then I tell it (out loud if I'm alone), "No. You're wrong. And you KNOW you're wrong. So shut up."

And it does.

Just remember: We love you. We know the mean little voice is wrong. Don't leave us?

[FormerCallingCardRep]

Kanalah, when you are in VA you will be in the same time zone that I am in. If you need me, I am here.

[Kanalah]

This is a good thing. I think. Well, at least it's good to know I'm having some kind of effect.....even if it's the effect of an evil ogre.

Well I think of you as the big brother that gives me a good kick in the butt when I need it.

[dragon_wings]

Hey, you'll be in VA? I live in Baltimore. Call me sometime (will send a PM). Warning though: I work retail so I work wacky hours.

But I've been through depression. I'm an empath working retail, so I'm often stressed out about that add all my non work stresses and you have a depressed dragon_wings.
Right now I'm trying to keep a friend from breaking down every night (she just moved here and is living with me) cause she grew up lying to herself and everyone she knew and she's so intensely unhappy with herself. It's hard because it makes me sad.

Enough rambling. We love you. ((hugs))

[Shpepper]

I have a friend who was feeling like she didn't matter anymore. She came up with an idea that I want to share with you all. Make a list of things to accomplish. then at the end of the day, make a list of everything that you got done that day. No it doesn't matter if it was on the original list or not. This includes things like getting out of bed and getting dressed, making meals and all the other things that you do in a day. It will help you see just what you do everyday.

I would so miss you seeing your quilts and hearing about the crazies. I know that at one point in my life, my puppy was the only thing that kept me alive. She was 4 weeks old and needed constant attention. I was afraid that if I did anything, she would be put down. That was enough for me. So think of your kitty that you are kenneling for 3 weeks just so she will be safe. Much Love.

[FuzzyKitten99]

Kanalah, been there done that too...still deal with it every so often, lol...

Sending you a PM with my info (contact and facebook so you have me available at any time, in multiple ways).

I am in MN, but that doesn't stop me from being an 'ear' or virtual shoulder.

[FormerCallingCardRep]

If you are coming across I64 in the next 24 hours, please be safe crossing the mountains from WV into VA. They are predicting snow today in that area

[Kanalah]

Now that I'm kinda out of the fog. I can see what got me so upset.

I've never had a brithday party. This year was a big one, and I had been planning something special. Then I found out when we were leaving and that I couldn't have a party. So that really upset me. I know it's probably stupid, but I've always wanted to have a party. I love throwing parties - I just never thought I deserved one, or if I had one - that anyone would show up.

And then my pet sitter backed out and I had to scramble and talk on the phone, which is a big fear for me. I always feel like I'm being a waste of time or bothering people, stuff like that. So I spent all day on the phone, after leaving messages, I had to call FedEx and make darned sure that MommaPlaid got her quilt.

It's just weird because I've never really had like friends before, or people being nice to me without me having to do something first.

I've been in other online groups and the first time I slip into a more depressive state they're supportive. The second time they tell me not to talk about it anymore. So then I muddle through, pretending that things are okay, when I'm dying inside.

I just scared that it will happen here and then I'll lose another support network.

I do have a lot of people's numbers in my phone now, so I have people to talk to when I get all weirded out again.

And I will find a way to check in when I get to VA, even if it involves hacking into Chat from my MIL's Win 3.1 computer.

It's still kinda weird to have people being nice to me.

[FormerCallingCardRep]

Just please be carefull if you are coming across I-64 in the next 24 hours. I heard on the news this morning that they are predicting snow in the mountains in southern WV and Western VA today and tonight. There are some big mountains to cross there.

[Kanalah]

We're not leaving until the buttcrack of dawn tommorow and I'm pretty sure we're not taking I-64. We're going on I-40 and I-81

[FormerCallingCardRep]

I was just worrying because I know how bad I-64 can get in the snow. Hubby's sister lives just of I-64.

[Kanalah]

I know and I appreciate it