Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Mr. Crab Takes the Cake

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Mr. Crab Takes the Cake

    Of all the places we tow from, the one that causes the most headache just might be that old folks home we do.

    Your average person can get quite crabby upon learning they've been towed.

    Now, imagine how crabby people get when they're already predisposed to being crabby on account of being crabby 60 year old crabs that have pissed off everyone around them to the degree that the only people who will put up with them are the facility staff who get paid for it. And then, you tow them for not having a permit/not parking in the right place, the compounding crabiness is something nobody wants to deal with.

    And heaven forbid you tow someone who was "just visiting". Imagine, how crabby a person THAT person is. They're crabby enough that they can be FRIENDS with an already overly-crabby person, and then you amp up the crabiness by towing them....

    Ugh

    Even better when they start retaliating amongst themselves and try to get the person who sicced us on them towed in revenge.

    "The Hunchback of Senior Court" in particular doesn't seem to consider her day complete until she's found and had towed someone who "doesn't belong" , and, her definition of "doesn't belong" boils down to "pissed me off".

    She used to call us down there so incessantly for stuff that was perfectly legal that we finally had to show her the super-secret rule book of tow/don't tow regulations (that isn't supposed to be released to the public) that shows places in the lots where we can't touch cars on account of questionable legality of the spaces or a directive from the property owner themselves that only they have the ability to call in for certain things). And that still didn't appease her.

    She kept trying to sic us on contractor trucks, which we don't do for obvious reasons or cars she "knows" don't belong to residents which doesn't matter. The rules say "permits" and the permits here are hanging tags that can be swapped around freely. So, even if you "know" that's Kenny's pickup, and you told Kenny he can't park there because "he ain't no resident!", well, Kenny's Mom gave him her permit and he has it validly displayed, so, no, he will not be towed. See, says so right here in the rules book, "PERMIT VEHICLES NOT TO BE TOWED FOR ANY REASON".

    After showing it to her and reading it line by line, she still wanted the person towed, we eventually just had to drive away after spending 30 minutes trying to explain it. Even better, no sooner had we left than we got a call from the police because a concerned resident had called both myself and my other driver in as "prowlers", since anyone stationary in front of the complex for more than 20 minutes who doesn't live there is clearly one of those no-good kids who listens to that devil music and is meticulously planning to murder every single one of them....

    God do I hate that place.

    It's a crabfest!

    A Mobius strip of crabiness!

    Any more crabbiness, and I'd have to get the Old Bay seasoning and the cooler full of ice before going in there!

    Well, today, Randy ran into the worst crab I think we've ever had down there, a "King Crab" if you will.

    The Hunchback was out on patrol again, and, like a blind squirrel tripping over a nut, she actually did find a car that didn't belong. Randy went down to get it.

    Of course, it was in the first space in the lot, so, his truck blocked the entrance while he was loading.

    This made a returning resident angry, *seethe* *seethe* VERY angry INDEED!

    Unable to wait the 2 minutes it took Randy to load, King Crab pulled his car into the parking lot of the apartment next door and then walked over and stood by Randy's truck angrily motioning him to roll down a window.

    Of course, when it rains, it pours, the driver's side window on his truck doesn't roll down on account of a jammed track, so Randy's trying to signal he can't roll the window down, and the impromptu game of charades just made King Crab ANGRIER!!!! It must be said, at this point, Randy's done loading and is, in fact, trying to leave, and here's this oldster basically PREVENTING him from doing so by getting in the way.

    Randy cracks the door and asks if he can help. (Big mistake, these people are beyond help!)

    "Yeah, because you wouldn't let me in, I had to park over there! So you better not tow me for that!"

    Randy shakes his head "That's not your lot or your property, you can't park over there"

    "NO!" says Mr. Crabs "I can't go around the block again! (why not? The streets are open) so that's where I'm parking! And I will NOT be towed!"

    Randy's getting pissed at this point, he's no Twitch, but in the Blow-]Your-Top Olympics, he'd be a solid silver medalist with ease, and may be able to upset Twitch for the gold if he's been having a particularly rotten day. So, he delivers his ultimatum.

    "Buddy, you can't park there, and if the owner of that space calls you in, not only will you be towed, but I hope I'm the one they send down here to get you!" and slams the door shut.

    According to Randy, Crab-Man was yelling "GO TO HELL!" over and over as he finally pulled away from him.

    Go to hell you say? You first sweetie, and I'd like to point out you've got a good 35 year head-start on all of us at this point, so, keep a spot warm(er) on the receptionist's bench when ya get there, you crabtastic old fart.

    If I ever get HALF that dyspeptic in my older years, you have my expressed written consent, on behalf of the league commissioner, to murder me.

    Thank You.
    - They say nothing good happens at 2AM, they're right, I happen at 2AM.

  • #2
    ...you left us hanging....did you get the call to tow the King Crab?
    How ever do they manage to breathe for themselves without having to call tech support? - Argabarga

    Comment


    • #3
      Quoth TimmyHate View Post
      ...you left us hanging....did you get the call to tow the King Crab?
      It never came, guess he decided going to the right lot was easier than goin' ta hell.
      - They say nothing good happens at 2AM, they're right, I happen at 2AM.

      Comment


      • #4
        Quoth Argabarga View Post
        It never came, guess he decided going to the right lot was easier than goin' ta hell.
        You're implying there is a difference?
        How ever do they manage to breathe for themselves without having to call tech support? - Argabarga

        Comment


        • #5
          Some folks just aren't satisfied unless they're causing trouble for others. I'd bet the HBSC was a big-time tattletale as a child.
          Quoth Argabarga View Post
          If I ever get HALF that dyspeptic in my older years, you have my expressed written consent, on behalf of the league commissioner, to murder me.
          Same here.
          I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
          My LiveJournal
          A page we can all agree with!

          Comment


          • #6
            Does the boss allow you to just ignore calls from Hunchback entirely? ^_^ Or are you required to go out and check anyway?

            As for the cops - did anything ever come of that? (I hope not)...I really have to wonder if Hunchback was the one that called them in, just because she didn't get her way!
            "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
            "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
            "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
            "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
            "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
            "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
            Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
            "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

            Comment


            • #7
              The cops were trying hard not to laugh about it, and it wasn't hunchback, they told us who did it and asked if maybe we could just keep away from her unit for the rest of the night so she wouldn't call again.

              Keep away from there? I thought you'd never ask!
              - They say nothing good happens at 2AM, they're right, I happen at 2AM.

              Comment


              • #8
                Is it terrible that I read that entire post in the voices of Sponge Bob and Mr. Crabs?
                At the conclusion of an Irish wedding, the priest said "Everybody please hug the person who has made your life worth living. The bartender was nearly crushed to death.

                Comment


                • #9
                  I keep coming back just for these stories.

                  While I have always respected towing/parking signs, I have a whole new insight into what you all put up with.

                  Never shall I bitch if I am in the wrong.
                  Teach a SC to fish... and they will whine about you not catching, filleting, frying, and serving it up on a silver platter for them. - EvilEmpryss

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    You and Irv seem to have something in common: Senior days.
                    To right the countless wrongs of our days... We shine this light of true redemption, that this place may become as paradise...Oh, what a wonderful world such would be...

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I have a coworker who moved to a condo building in which 95% of the people there are retired. She's never seen so many people not minding their own business and they are making her life a nightmare (over a parking spot, of all things). I guess it's the same for Argabarga's Crab Emporium. Some people are not happy until everyone is miserable, themselves included. Guess they don't have any other hobbies.

                      Haven't they learned that life is so much easier if you're nice and relaxed?
                      It's not the years in you life that count, it's the life in your years! - Quote from the office coffee cup.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Just remember, your job could be worse,

                        http://consumerist.com/2014/06/19/to...y-cranky-bees/
                        "First time I ever seen a chainsaw go down anybody's britches,"

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Quoth Dark Psion View Post
                          Just remember, your job could be worse,

                          http://consumerist.com/2014/06/19/to...y-cranky-bees/
                          INB4 "Not the bees" jokes.
                          PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

                          There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            I wonder if anybody's done a study to see if crankiness is directly correlated with age, or if all these Keep-Off-My-Lawn miserable people have been misanthropes their whole life, but now simply have fewer people to inflict it on, so it's concentrated.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Quoth sirwired View Post
                              I wonder if anybody's done a study to see if crankiness is directly correlated with age, or if all these Keep-Off-My-Lawn miserable people have been misanthropes their whole life, but now simply have fewer people to inflict it on, so it's concentrated.
                              I don't know if it's ever been scientifically investigated, but, the armchair sociologist in me says it's the latter.

                              The person complaining about how mean the teacher is in 1st grade for giving them homework is the same person complaining about how rude everyone else is for not getting out of their way at 80.

                              Just my opinion, backed by nothing but empirical evidence.
                              - They say nothing good happens at 2AM, they're right, I happen at 2AM.

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X