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The Tow Files - Rumors of my Death Have Been Greatly Exaggerated

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  • #16
    Quoth Gravekeeper View Post
    I like businesses like towing where the idea isn't to retain repeat customers. So you don't have to bow and scrap to arseholes because management tells you to.
    The trick is understanding who is customer.
    Life is too short to not eat popcorn.
    Save the Ales!
    Toys for Tots at Rooster's Cafe

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    • #17
      I don't have customers, I have merchandise

      It's not the place of the merch to tell me where to put it!
      - They say nothing good happens at 2AM, they're right, I happen at 2AM.

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      • #18
        Quoth Argabarga View Post
        I don't have customers, I have merchandise
        That's the spirit.

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        • #19
          Welcome back Arga!

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          • #20
            Quoth Argabarga View Post
            Well, due to circumstances beyond my control and that need no introduction, the latest round of the Tow Files has been delayed by 2 months of being laid off and 5 more of waiting for enough students to come back to have a customer base again.
            Well, that explains the dearth of Arga posts. Glad to see you're still among the land of the upright and breathing.

            Quoth Argabarga View Post
            HOW MANY OTHER TOWERS WERE THERE? WAIT! NO! I'D RATHER NOT KNOW!
            THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!

            Quoth Argabarga View Post
            15 minutes and a knock at the door later, our mastermind of crime was calling us to provide his credit card info again, in lieu of becoming a guest of the Commonwealth at one of their many exclusive resorts for the feloniously-inclined.
            Tell him what he's won, Don!

            An all-expenses paid trip to the world famous Graybar Hotel!

            Quoth Argabarga View Post
            "That means I have IMPORTANT things to do! Too important to be bothered with a permit for just 10 seconds! This is just ridiculous! I HAVE A TIE! SEE?"
            Is it wrong of me to imagine Arga going Jackie Chan a la "Who Am I?" on this SIMBA* in training?

            (* Self Important Mighty Business Asshole)

            If it is wrong... I don't wanna be right.

            Quoth Argabarga View Post
            Both of them started pulling off "Pro Wrestler" victory poses, haunching over and flexing (nonexistent) muscles at me, while croaking like the Macho Man: "OOOH! OOOOH!!! YOU A BIG MAN, HUH? BIIIIIIG MAN! OOOOH!" They continued this odd display all the way to the door to follow their Dear Leader and kept doing it all across the parking lot.....
            Is it just me, or is doing a Macho Man impersonation around an impound lot with potentially wrecked cars in it, in bad taste?

            Quoth Argabarga View Post
            Ma'm, This is a Wendy's
            ...
            So, for those of you curious what happens when you train your Level 58 Karen all the way up to level 100, we now have the answer: She Poke'-volves into Mega Karen, demanding the managers of other companies solve her problems or they'll surely all be fired/in big trouble!

            The attack was ineffective.
            She went full Karen.

            You never go full Karen.

            Quoth Argabarga View Post
            Ever wonder why God no longer talks to us? I got a few ideas on that...
            He changed his number, and now he goes "New phone, who dis?" if we manage to find it.

            Quoth Argabarga View Post
            *Astronaut Sneaking up on You With Gun Picture Goes Here*
            Very sus of you, Arga.

            Quoth Argabarga View Post
            Be Careful What You Wish for, I'll Make Sure You GET It!
            This episode stars Sister Stuck-up
            She's preparing to become a KAREN. Kid Apparently Raised Entitled & Nasty.

            Quoth Argabarga View Post
            "You said this wouldn't hurt me!"

            "I said it wouldn't KILL you, and you'd be surprised what a man can live through..."
            One of my favorite technicalities to use in writing when I want to emphasize how nasty someone is about "exact words."
            PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

            There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

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            • #21
              Quoth Argabarga View Post
              ...
              Enter, stage right, a man in a suit and tie.
              ...
              The last thing a man in a suit and a tie wants to hear at the impound yard is, "Clyde, Scrap the Caddy."
              "I don't have to be petty. The Universe does that for me."

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              • #22
                How did you not burst out with hysterical laughter at the two 'pro wrestling' bros?? You must have admirable self-control. I would have laughed so hard I'd be a teary mess.

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                • #23
                  Quoth Argabarga View Post
                  (Mornin' Sam, Mornin' Ralph)
                  Thank you for that.
                  Life's too short to drink cheap beer

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                  • #24
                    Quoth Argabarga View Post
                    Both of them started pulling off "Pro Wrestler" victory poses, haunching over and flexing (nonexistent) muscles at me, while croaking like the Macho Man: "OOOH! OOOOH!!! YOU A BIG MAN, HUH? BIIIIIIG MAN! OOOOH!" They continued this odd display all the way to the door to follow their Dear Leader and kept doing it all across the parking lot.....
                    They think their entrance music is Triple H's entrance, "The Game", by Motorhead, but it's really "Yackety Sax" by Boots Randolph.
                    Skilled programmers aren't cheap. Cheap programmers aren't skilled.

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                    • #25
                      Quoth mjr View Post
                      They think their entrance music is Triple H's entrance, "The Game", by Motorhead, but it's really "Yackety Sax" by Boots Randolph.
                      RIP Lemmy.

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                      • #26
                        I love the bitch flavored twatwaffle comment. That's my neighbor, yep.
                        When you start at zero, everything's progress.

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