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  • R.T.F.S.

    Read. The FUCKING. Screen!

    The number of users I've had to deal with today who need assistance in submitting information through one of various applications The Client has...

    Admittedly, sometimes it's not very clear what a field is asking for, I don't have a problem with those. That's one of many reasons why ITSD is here to help.

    But when it is asking you "Enter your [network] username and password," ENTER YOUR [network] USERNAME AND PASSWORD. It's not rocket science, FFS!
    PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

    There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

  • #2
    BUT, But, but

    But it is words on a computer screen!

    That automatically means the text changed to require an IQ of 200+ and five years of university to read!

    The number of times I repaired a computer/printer problem just by reading the error message that was written in English (at-least it looked like English to me) amazes me to this day.

    Comment


    • #3
      BDOS ERROR ON A:

      The screen message on the IBM PC in the Byte Shop window one night...

      My TRS-80 Model I had better error messages.
      I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
      Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
      Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

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      • #4
        Errors I have fixed!

        HP Laser will not print, I get called to service it at a min charge of $120.
        Error Message: No paper in MP Tray.
        Fix: Put paper in the only tray this printer has.


        Lexmark Printer will not print letters: Service call involves two hours total driving so min. charge expected $150.
        Error Message on computer screen: Wrong size paper in Tray 1.
        Fix: Found Tray 1 full of letter size paper, letter setting on computer set to A4 paper, changed setting of letter and default for Word.


        PC will not boot: Computer at service center, min charge $25.
        Error Message: No boot disk in drive a:
        Fix: Remove floppy from drive.


        Panasonic Printer will not print: Service call local, min. charge $75.
        Error Message: Bight RED LED above writing saying out of paper.
        Fix: Can`t remember which one either switch Friction mode to Tractor mode or the other way round. Friction mode loads paper from the bottom of the printer and used one sensor, Tractor mode feed from the back and used a different sensor.
        Note: This was an early design, later models used one sensor for both modes.


        Wireless Mouse will not move:
        No Error message, no lights on an optical mouse.
        Fix: Replaced batteries.


        USB Mouse will not move:
        No Error message, no lights on an optical mouse.
        Fix: Plug mouse back into USB port.


        Computer will not turn on: Local call, min charge $75.
        No Error message.
        Fix: Turned on power bar customer had hit with shoe.


        Computer will not turn on: Local call, min charge $75.
        No Error message.
        Fix: Power bar okay, customer says that is how they turn on and off their computer. Switched the power switch on computer to on position.


        Computer will not turn on: Local call, min charge $75.
        No Error message: Blank screen but can hear the computer start up. Monitor light is RED.
        Fix: Turned on monitor, light goes green and computer works fine.


        Customer can not get their HP MAINFRAME to print to new HP NETWORKED LASER PRINTER.
        Fix: Have no training in configuring mainframes. Remove plastic sealing from installation manual, read manual and followed the instructions, worked perfectly the first time.


        Customer can not get their modem to work on new computer. Insist that as a Nuclear Engineer they knew what they were doing and modem was junk.
        Fix: Updated version of modem so I insisted on manual that the N.E. kept saying was worthless. Remove plastic sealing from installation manual, read manual and figured out correct switch settings, worked perfectly the first time.

        Should I go on?
        Last edited by earl colby pottinger; 09-23-2016, 07:04 PM.

        Comment


        • #5
          Quoth earl colby pottinger View Post
          Friction mode loads paper from the bottom of the printer and used one sensor, Tractor mode feed from the back and used a different sensor.
          I would have thought it would be friction mode feeding from the back (single sheets placed in tray at the back of the machine), and tractor mode loading from the bottom (accordion-fold tractor paper feeding through a slot in the desk from a box under the desk).
          Any fool can piss on the floor. It takes a talented SC to shit on the ceiling.

          Comment


          • #6
            Lexmark Printer will not print letters
            PC Load Letter

            "What the F@#% does that mean?!?" (a bit NSFW)
            Error Message: No boot disk in drive a:
            Drive a: ...

            Drive a:...

            How old was that computer?!? O_O
            "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
            "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
            "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
            "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
            "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
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            Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
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            Comment


            • #7
              Fan Fold

              Quoth wolfie View Post
              I would have thought it would be friction mode feeding from the back (single sheets placed in tray at the back of the machine), and tractor mode loading from the bottom (accordion-fold tractor paper feeding through a slot in the desk from a box under the desk).
              This was one of the old 9 pin impact printers. Both modes used fan-fold paper.

              Comment


              • #8
                How old

                Quoth EricKei View Post
                PC Load Letter

                "What the F@#% does that mean?!?" (a bit NSFW)
                Drive a: ...

                Drive a:...

                How old was that computer?!? O_O
                Not as old as you think, this was in 200? and the computer had been used for a few years. But just because they have used it for years did not mean they knew what would happen if the left a floppy disk in.

                And by the way have I a laptop that is less than five years old, boots Windows 7 from the hard drive and no matter what I do with the BIOS settings it will not boot is a USB stick is plugged in that does not have a boot OS.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Quoth EricKei View Post
                  PC Load Letter

                  "What the F@#% does that mean?!?" (a bit NSFW)
                  Drive a: ...

                  Drive a:...

                  How old was that computer?!? O_O
                  Don't forget that production of floppy disks ended only 6 years ago. It wouldn't even surprise me if there are still floppy disk drivers on Win10.
                  I AM the evil bastard!
                  A+ Certified IT Technician

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Quoth lordlundar View Post
                    Don't forget that production of floppy disks ended only 6 years ago. It wouldn't even surprise me if there are still floppy disk drivers on Win10.
                    It does. I have a floppy drive in my computer so I can read the pictures from my camera. When I boot into Win 10 to play a game, the drive shows as drive A.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I've got a USB floppy drive in this computer. I mostly use it to copy from floppies to my server.

                      I also have a 5-1/4" floppy drive around here somewhere. It was in my computer for quite a while. (Several years.) I was working my way through my late mother's old floppies, seeing if there was anything worth keeping. (Quite a bit of stuff, in fact.) Not sure where the drive is now, but I need to finish that project One Of These Days[tm].
                      Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, you speak with the Fraud department. -- CrazedClerkthe2nd
                      OW! Rolled my eyes too hard, saw my brain. -- Seanette
                      she seems to top me in crazy, and I'm enough crazy for my family. -- Cooper
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                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Deserted, if the 5 1/4" doesn't turn up, or if it dies before you can get all the files copied, let me know. I've got a few 5 1/4" (1.2M) drives for IBM clones kicking around.
                        Any fool can piss on the floor. It takes a talented SC to shit on the ceiling.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I know it's not an error message that's written on the screen, but a computer making a beeping noise is trying to tell you something!

                          My mom has repeatedly called me over to her desk to get the computer to stop beeping. The first thing I say is "take everything off your keyboard." And voila! It stops. Yes, she puts binders and folders and such on the keyboard and then wonders why her computer is yelling at her.

                          The other really basic issue I've seen is impatient clicking. How many times does someone call me over to complain that something isn't working and I have to say "stop clicking!" And wow, once they let the computer think for two seconds, it unlocks and works properly.

                          Of course, these people (not my mom, she realizes that it's her fault) think that computers aren't really helpful, that they "crash" all the time, or are "never" working. *eye twitch*
                          Replace anger management with stupidity management.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Quoth wolfie View Post
                            I would have thought it would be friction mode feeding from the back (single sheets placed in tray at the back of the machine), and tractor mode loading from the bottom (accordion-fold tractor paper feeding through a slot in the desk from a box under the desk).
                            Quoth earl colby pottinger View Post
                            This was one of the old 9 pin impact printers. Both modes used fan-fold paper.
                            Generally, friction feed indeed denotes single sheets of paper fed through the back, typewriter-style, while tractor feed uses the fan-fold paper, with the tractors either at the back (pusher) or on top (puller). I've owned numerous dot-matrix printers, including the Apple ImageWriter II ("SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH!!!!!"), Commodore MPS-1250 (puller-type tractor feed, but a superb machine regardless), Panasonic KX-something (wide-carriage with pusher tractor feed), Okidata ML-320 (still in production, last I checked), and who-knows-how-many others. Goofy and loud, but they did the trick. I was probably the last kid in my high school class handing in homework in dot-matrix form.

                            Quoth EricKei View Post
                            Drive a: ...

                            Drive a:...

                            How old was that computer?!? O_O
                            Pretty much any computer which still has a floppy disk drive installed will throw the good ol' "NON-SYSTEM DISK OR DISK ERROR" if someone happened to leave a non-bootable disk in the drive when it was turned off. And I'm pretty sure even the modern machines could still be booted from an old-fashioned DOS boot floppy if they happened to have a floppy drive connected, even the USB type. Back in the XP days, I used a special boot disk in a USB floppy drive to make my Sony Vaio laptop boot from the Red Hat 9 partition I'd installed on its hard drive...
                            -Adam
                            Where the hell is the nerd smilie?!
                            Goofy music!
                            Old tech junk!

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              you reminded of this old guy who came in with a tablet wanted to be shown how to use it. the issue being it was still at the "you just turned me on for the first time" setup screen where it gives you very direct questions like "what is your name". The problem, he just wouldn't read and think, he would honestly just start tapping random things. I tried to tell him he needed to just read what the screen said and input the answer and tap next and did one prompt for him. he just starts randomly tapping on the screen. I couldn't just do it for him because we charge for that and I couldn't even offer to do a tutorial with him because he didn't have it set up yet and it's a completely different service, that we also schedule in advance.

                              it reached a point where there's a box literally asking for his name and he looks at the screen and asks me what he's supposed to do. I told him he needs to read the screen and answer the question and eventually just walked away. there were too many customers in the store and I honestly just didn't know how to get through to him and I'd already offered to do our setup service but he was like "no I don't need that I just need someone to show me how to do some stuff".
                              Interviewer: What is your greatest weakness?
                              Me: I expect competence from my coworkers.

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