Here's something pretty funny (in my opinion) that happened a little while back at the tv station where I work. Being a media outlet, I'm sure you can imagine the kinds of calls we receive on a regular basis. For the most part, if anyone watching our channel can't see or hear our programming, or operate their remote control, we get called up. So far, in my experiences, the absolute WORST of the worst are housewives calling up during the soap-opera block because whatever stupid reason. This story, however, instead deals with a crotchety old man that's not exactly the brightest candle in the rectory, and a chief engineer with a quick and sharp mind. Fortunately, I got to listen in thanks to the wonderous technology of the speakerphone...
Receptionist: Good morning, this is Channel X. How may I direct your call?
Old Man: Listen Young lady: I want to speak with an engineer- RIGHT NOW.
Receptionist: May I ask who is calling?
Old Man: You just put me through to the head engineer right away. You guys down there have some serious problems with your equipment or somethin'.
Receptionist: Uhh.. OK. I'm not sure if he's in right now, but I'll transfer you over anyway. You can always leave a message if he's not there.
Old Man: Fine, fine... Just put me through will ya?
So, the receptionist transfers the call to our chief engineer. He's a quirky and quick-witted guy in his late forties. He's got an intimate knowledge of all our broadcasting equipment, and generally dislikes speaking to anyone from outside the station, usually because 99% of the people that call him are boneheads that shouldn't be allowed to watch TV in the first place. Anyway, his phone rings and he picks up...
Chief Engineer: Yeah, this is Chief Engineer, can I help you with something?
Old Man: Damn right you can! Your channel has a lot of static on my TV. Fix it now!
Chief Engineer: Uhhh... Have you tried adjusting your antenna?
Old Man: Oh no you don't! Now you listen to me... I set up my antenna on top of my TV 15 years ago. I've ALWAYS gotten a clear picture from your channel, and now today, its full of static! There's absolutely nothing wrong with my antenna. Now you fix this right now!
Chief Engineer: Right... Well, let me tell you this. Every 15 years we go out and shift our broadcasting tower about 30 feet over from where it normally stands. So, you might have to adjust your antenna again to compensate for the move.
Old Man: Well, I don't know about that. You should still check your equipment.
Chief Engineer: Look. Just move your antenna around a little bit. I'm telling you that will fix it, OK?
Old Man: Well if it doesn't, you're gonna know about it!
Chief Engineer: Fine then... Bye.
The old man never called back.
Oh, and for those of you not familiar with broadcasting, the tower from which we broadcast our signal is in no way portable. Its a huge, immensely tall steel tower firmly anchored to the ground. This old geezer just had a hair up his rear or something and didn't want to just wiggle his old rabbit-ears like he should have in the first place. Yet another reason to cast your vote for my position of EarthKing. Once elected, I promise to rid the planet of these moronic dolts in the messiest and most explosive manner possible!
Receptionist: Good morning, this is Channel X. How may I direct your call?
Old Man: Listen Young lady: I want to speak with an engineer- RIGHT NOW.
Receptionist: May I ask who is calling?
Old Man: You just put me through to the head engineer right away. You guys down there have some serious problems with your equipment or somethin'.
Receptionist: Uhh.. OK. I'm not sure if he's in right now, but I'll transfer you over anyway. You can always leave a message if he's not there.
Old Man: Fine, fine... Just put me through will ya?
So, the receptionist transfers the call to our chief engineer. He's a quirky and quick-witted guy in his late forties. He's got an intimate knowledge of all our broadcasting equipment, and generally dislikes speaking to anyone from outside the station, usually because 99% of the people that call him are boneheads that shouldn't be allowed to watch TV in the first place. Anyway, his phone rings and he picks up...
Chief Engineer: Yeah, this is Chief Engineer, can I help you with something?
Old Man: Damn right you can! Your channel has a lot of static on my TV. Fix it now!
Chief Engineer: Uhhh... Have you tried adjusting your antenna?
Old Man: Oh no you don't! Now you listen to me... I set up my antenna on top of my TV 15 years ago. I've ALWAYS gotten a clear picture from your channel, and now today, its full of static! There's absolutely nothing wrong with my antenna. Now you fix this right now!
Chief Engineer: Right... Well, let me tell you this. Every 15 years we go out and shift our broadcasting tower about 30 feet over from where it normally stands. So, you might have to adjust your antenna again to compensate for the move.
Old Man: Well, I don't know about that. You should still check your equipment.
Chief Engineer: Look. Just move your antenna around a little bit. I'm telling you that will fix it, OK?
Old Man: Well if it doesn't, you're gonna know about it!
Chief Engineer: Fine then... Bye.
The old man never called back.
Oh, and for those of you not familiar with broadcasting, the tower from which we broadcast our signal is in no way portable. Its a huge, immensely tall steel tower firmly anchored to the ground. This old geezer just had a hair up his rear or something and didn't want to just wiggle his old rabbit-ears like he should have in the first place. Yet another reason to cast your vote for my position of EarthKing. Once elected, I promise to rid the planet of these moronic dolts in the messiest and most explosive manner possible!
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