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An open letter to my young neighbor

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  • An open letter to my young neighbor

    Dear Neighbor Dude,

    You are one of the good ones and so I'm even angrier that you're doing this. I understand that you are in your 20s and probably don't have enough cash flow to live in one of those luxury apartments with a gym in the building. You are an early riser (something I aspire to) and a responsible person. You don't party over there, don't run insidious bass music, don't do anything else at all that bothers anyone. In fact, sometimes I wonder when I have Netflix on my laptop in my bedroom if it bothers you. I'm concerned about your sleep because I'm a good neighbor. I know you must go to bed earlier than me.

    Last night was New Year's Eve which should have been your first clue people would be up late. I knew I should go to bed early because it was actually dead quiet around here--a first. You couldn't even tell it was a holiday, actually. But I couldn't sleep because I was in pain. I have a slight case of whiplash. I went to bed between 12:30 and 1:00. I was OK with waking up around 7:30 but you pulled me out of a dead sleep at just past 6:00, about 5 hours after I fell asleep. Turning my fan up to high does not drown out the pound pound pound pound.

    I don't know why you think having a treadmill in an apartment is OK. I know no one lives below you but other people are connected to you! That reverberates through walls. Quiet hours are generally between 10:00 pm and 8:00 am but I'd even accept 11:00 pm to 7:00 am. And even 7:30 is pushing it. Not everyone goes to bed early. The people behind you work until at least midnight. It boggles the mind until I realize your parents must be of my generation--the one that raised itself due to absentee parents--and then it makes sense. Now the elderly managers are going to have to explain life to you.

    Oh, and thanks for the migraine I'm going to get later. Lack of sleep is a definite trigger and I can almost count on it. Even if I can eradicate the actual pain, I know there will be dizziness and nausea and the sense of dread I always get. This isn't going to be a relaxing nor productive holiday for me. I'm just glad I don't have to work. I doubt I'll be able to nap because of other rude neighbors.

    I would rent a house but I can't afford to move so I'm stuck with you and the others. I couldn't get back to sleep if I tried because now the plows are blocking my car in with snow. If I had been able to sleep I'd be OK because guess what? it's 7:30 when I wanted to get up anyway. Happy new year to me.
    "Is it hot in here to you? It's very warm, isn't it?"--Nero, probably
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