The Closing Chronicles (aka GTFO) Storytime!

[smoorman76]

Stories like these make me so glad I get to throw people out. I have to be polite about it, but I work in a truckstop out on the very, very edge of town, and there are issues of security to worry about.

[flyonthewall]

Where I work closing retail shifts end 15 minutes after official close. Managers usually leave about 30 minutes after official close. So there's not the problem of not getting paid for us unless we really getting tied up with a SC. The issue is we're tired, hungry, and ready to bite people so for everyone's safety- GTFO!

We close three hours earlier on Sunday and people find this confusing. Usually the most senior manager works closing on Sunday so he'll walk up to people and say something like "We closed five minutes ago. Are you going to be making a purchase or not?" But only he can do this. Lowly serfs cannot. Typically, when people hear this they are embarrassed that they didn't notice when everyone else left, and finally understand why we've been angrily circling them for several minutes.


Sometimes they'll say in a betrayed tone as we check them out, "Why didn't you tell me?" And we'll respond, "We'll get in trouble. Only senior level managers can tell a guest our hours without first being directly asked by a customer." They get quiet after that. Yeah. Modern rules of retail.

Oh, and the best thing is, by closing time we only have one or two registers open. Sometimes when we have large groups people get hissy and ask "WHY aren't the registers open?" "That'd be because we already closed and we aren't supposed to have any on." This is at its worst on Christmas Eve when all the dumdums are out shopping and are just shocked that we are sold out of everything they want to buy! "Oh noes, someone smarter than you came around and bought it weeks ago." Last year we even ran out of gift cards!

[XCashier]

...They had been told multiple times that we were CLOSED. Finally I told them that we were going to close the registers, so they needed to go up to pay. The response? "Oh, we're not buying anything today, so that's fine!"

"Then why the hell are you even here?!" I would be sorely tempted to yell at them. And you know, I bet they'd complain if they had a party and guests stayed over long past the party's end...

This thread reminds me of this Retail comic strip arc. It's probably the most commented-on arc of the series.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Same place my cat gets the stuff that goes in the sandbox . . .

And they both stink to high heavens!

[MadMike]

Stories like these make me so glad I get to throw people out. I have to be polite about it, but I work in a truckstop out on the very, very edge of town, and there are issues of security to worry about.

Some of the bars I've been to, they don't have to be polite about it. I've been to a few where they start telling everyone to "Get the fuck out!" Then again, the liquor laws in PA are pretty strict, and they can face huge fines if they still have people in the bar after a certain time.

[Ironclad Alibi]

Even in the movies there are problems with people not knowing you're closed.

[eltf177]

Don't pretty much all bars have to stop serving by a certain point? And thus kick out idiots because they can't order any more alcohol or food (kitchen's closed) and "you don't have to go home but you can't stay here!?"

Also there's dozens of stories here about people wanting to buy alcohol in various stores outside of county/state-mandated hours and not taking "no" very well...

[Mr Hero]

I'm usually good about closing times, but I remember one time 12 or so years ago where I remembered the closing hours incorrectly, and got to the store exactly as she was locking up. I actually did tell her I knew exactly what I needed, and it was just one item, not aware she probably heard that many times already. But in this case it was true. I was in and out of there within 5 minutes. It never occurred to me until later that I was probably being sucky.

[XCashier]

I actually did tell her I knew exactly what I needed, and it was just one item, not aware she probably heard that many times already. But in this case it was true. I was in and out of there within 5 minutes. It never occurred to me until later that I was probably being sucky.

Not if you actually were in and out of there within five minutes. It's the ones who say, "I'll only be a minute!" then stroll around the entire store, browsing leisurely, blatantly ignoring the closing announcements who are truly sucky.

[Seanette]

Also there's dozens of stories here about people wanting to buy alcohol in various stores outside of county/state-mandated hours and not taking "no" very well...

One of many annoyances when I worked nights in a 7-11 (over half my current age ago). IIRC, cutoff was from 2am - 7am. Oh, the howling and tantrums when I refused to break state law about that. Even worse than the howling and tantrums about requiring ID for age-restricted goods.

[flyonthewall]

One day we closed early because we were having a huge redo of decorations/products/etc. I'm towards the front working on a high pressure display that is really important. It's that display that greets people as the enter. Unfortunately, I was right in the line of fire of SC. "OMG, WHY AREN'T YOU OPEN!!!!!!?" Meanwhile, it's chaos inside and we are swimming in cardboard boxes + packing tissue, electricians are on 20 foot ladders, there are roughly fifty people who are obviously extremely busy, and head general contractor dude is in welding gear with his blow torch. Mmm, I wonder if that was a rhetorical question. Why we aren't open? Lemee think.. Maybe it's because we wanted to have a martini party?

The most important rule of chaos changeover night: DO NOT MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH CRAZY PERSON BANGING ON DOOR.

Sadly, I made eye contact with one of them. So I drudgingly shuffled over and a granny started bombarding me with questions. I kept saying "You are going to have to come back tomorrow" to everything. She didn't like that very much and started ranting about how unfair and blahblahblah. So I walked away and continued doing my work. I don't know if she complained about me or not. I never heard anything. I was glad there was shatter proof glass between us, the rabid consumer can get temperamental at closing time.

[wolfie]

I was glad there was shatter proof glass between us, the rabid consumer can get temperamental at closing time.

Don't say "shatterproof" - sucky customers will take that as a challenge!

[flyonthewall]

Don't say "shatterproof" - sucky customers will take that as a challenge!

Aw snap, you're right! I just rest assured that we do have an alarm system. So if they do break the glass, at least the police will come to collect surveillance footage and my dead body. ^.^

[Dreamstalker]

Our router was being replaced (again) last night, so I finally got to tell people that the registers were shutting down in two minutes and they had to either buy their stuff or leave if they couldn't ring it up in time.

[catcul]

I was glad there was shatter proof glass between us, the rabid consumer can get temperamental at closing time.

Don't say "shatterproof" - sucky customers will take that as a challenge!

That reminds me of the story of Garry Hoy. He tested the shatter proof glass of his office on the 24th floor to impress students. It didn't shatter, but the frame gave out.

A deadly sentence is, "Watch this!"