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Just one for today, but it's a good one.
Had a guy whose account had been cut off for non payment. He would up demanding a manager (and getting me) because he swears a previous rep told him we could get his service back on without payment. Of course that's absolutely NOT true so let the fun begin!
SC: I need my phones on. I can't call my wife, I can't call my daughter, I can't do anything.
Me: I apologize for the frustrations, I see your account is past due by $243.
SC: Yes, it's past due but I spoke to one of your reps the other day and he said you could make an exception for me and turn the phones back on without me needing to pay.
Me: Did he say why we would make an exception?
SC: My father is in the hospital. I need to be able to reach him. The guy I talked said you could make exceptions in case of emergency. Well believe me, this is a goddamn emergency!
Me: I'm sorry to hear that. How long has your dad been in the hospital?
SC: Almost two weeks.
Me: Hmm, well that's a bit different than say, they just rushed him there after a car accident or something. I apologize for the misinformation but we rarely if ever make exceptions to the past due policy.
SC: Come on man, you can't cut me a break just this once? I promise I'll pay.
(Suuuuure you will...
)
Me: It's not a matter of me wanting to cut you a break. To turn the lines back on with no payment requires a specific override in the system. When we do that override, we end up on an internal exception report that could potentially put our job at risk. There's no other way around this.
SC: COME ON MAN!! What the hell is wrong with you people?!?! I just need my phones. I've talked to seven reps and two other managers this past week alone and let me tell you, the last manager I talked to was a major asshole. You should turn on my phones for that alone.
Me: I'm afraid it doesn't work like that sir. I'd be happy to follow up on that employee for you but I can't turn your phones on.
SC: You better follow up. That dude was a douchebag. A major league, condescending, chip-on-the-shoulder, arrogant douchebag. I hope he dies miserable and alone on a street corner somewhere.
Me: I'm sorry to hear you felt mistreated.
SC: FELT??? No, I WAS mistreated! If I ever found that guys mother, I'd slap the bitch for bringing him into this world!
Me: Comments like that are really not necessary sir. Can we back to the issue at hand?
SC: Fine. Look buddy I'm not asking you to move mountains here, I just NEED my phones on. I can pay the balance in full...next month.
Me: That's great sir but that won't help you this month.
SC: But I can pay!!
Me: Can you pay right now?
SC: NO!!
Me: And that's where our problem is.
SC: TURN MY PHONES ON!
Me: I can't do that without payment.
SC: You said you can make exceptions sometimes, why can't you make an exception??
Me: Exceptions are only available in emergency circumstances. Despite what you think, your particular situation does not qualify. Also, I happen to BE the asshole douchebag manager you talked to before. Seeing as how you just insulted me three times and insulted my mother, why should I lift a finger to get your phones back on?
SC: <stunned silence>
SC: Um...well...uhhh
Me: I thought so. We'll be happy to restore your services when you pay the bill. IS there anything else I can do for you today?
SC: *CLICK*
Oh, I couldn't believe it when I saw my own name in those account notes. I knew sweet pwnage was not far behind.
Had a guy whose account had been cut off for non payment. He would up demanding a manager (and getting me) because he swears a previous rep told him we could get his service back on without payment. Of course that's absolutely NOT true so let the fun begin!
SC: I need my phones on. I can't call my wife, I can't call my daughter, I can't do anything.
Me: I apologize for the frustrations, I see your account is past due by $243.
SC: Yes, it's past due but I spoke to one of your reps the other day and he said you could make an exception for me and turn the phones back on without me needing to pay.
Me: Did he say why we would make an exception?
SC: My father is in the hospital. I need to be able to reach him. The guy I talked said you could make exceptions in case of emergency. Well believe me, this is a goddamn emergency!
Me: I'm sorry to hear that. How long has your dad been in the hospital?
SC: Almost two weeks.
Me: Hmm, well that's a bit different than say, they just rushed him there after a car accident or something. I apologize for the misinformation but we rarely if ever make exceptions to the past due policy.
SC: Come on man, you can't cut me a break just this once? I promise I'll pay.
(Suuuuure you will...
)Me: It's not a matter of me wanting to cut you a break. To turn the lines back on with no payment requires a specific override in the system. When we do that override, we end up on an internal exception report that could potentially put our job at risk. There's no other way around this.
SC: COME ON MAN!! What the hell is wrong with you people?!?! I just need my phones. I've talked to seven reps and two other managers this past week alone and let me tell you, the last manager I talked to was a major asshole. You should turn on my phones for that alone.
Me: I'm afraid it doesn't work like that sir. I'd be happy to follow up on that employee for you but I can't turn your phones on.
SC: You better follow up. That dude was a douchebag. A major league, condescending, chip-on-the-shoulder, arrogant douchebag. I hope he dies miserable and alone on a street corner somewhere.
Me: I'm sorry to hear you felt mistreated.
SC: FELT??? No, I WAS mistreated! If I ever found that guys mother, I'd slap the bitch for bringing him into this world!
Me: Comments like that are really not necessary sir. Can we back to the issue at hand?
SC: Fine. Look buddy I'm not asking you to move mountains here, I just NEED my phones on. I can pay the balance in full...next month.
Me: That's great sir but that won't help you this month.
SC: But I can pay!!
Me: Can you pay right now?
SC: NO!!
Me: And that's where our problem is.
SC: TURN MY PHONES ON!
Me: I can't do that without payment.
SC: You said you can make exceptions sometimes, why can't you make an exception??
Me: Exceptions are only available in emergency circumstances. Despite what you think, your particular situation does not qualify. Also, I happen to BE the asshole douchebag manager you talked to before. Seeing as how you just insulted me three times and insulted my mother, why should I lift a finger to get your phones back on?
SC: <stunned silence>
SC: Um...well...uhhh
Me: I thought so. We'll be happy to restore your services when you pay the bill. IS there anything else I can do for you today?
SC: *CLICK*
Oh, I couldn't believe it when I saw my own name in those account notes. I knew sweet pwnage was not far behind.
He is my Black Dragon (and yes, a good one) strong, protective, the guardian. I am his Silver Dragon, always by his side, shining for him, cherishing him.
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