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  • First post of retirement plan customers

    As an introduction Id like to add that I work at a callcenter for 401k's so if some things dont seem that bad it might be something only I get, lol. some of these are saved, so they all didnt happen to me, but still hallarious anyways.

    SC: Very sucky
    ME: New! But not so sucky


    Withdrawl


    ME: Good afternoon this is McKooter how can I help you today?
    SC: I would like to cancell my account.

    (this right here can mean many different things, as its a 401k, withdrawl, or just stop contributing, or stop automatic withdrawls)

    ME: Yes ma'am let me pull up your account
    (verifies personal info)
    ME: By cancell what exactly do you mean?
    SC: Cancell
    ME: Do you mean withdraw because I do see you have seperated service with the state?
    SC: No I dont want to withdraw, I want to cancell my account.
    ME: Im sorry ma'am I'm not quite sure what you mean by cancell as its not a term that is used on this plan, being seperated if you do not want to withdraw the funds then you do not need to do anything, they will just stay with us untill you need to withdraw or rollover.
    SC: No you arent listening to me, I WANT TO CANCELL MY ACCOUNT
    ME: Again ma'am, I am not sure what you mean by cancell, are you wanting to withdraw or possibly rollover, or are you looking to just leave the money

    (this goes on, back and fourth for like 2 minutes)

    ME: Ms. SuckyCustomer it sounds like your not looking to change anything, and everything has been updated to show you are no longer working with (employer) so it would seem that everything is all set Or cancelled as you say.
    SC: Wheres my check?
    ME: okay ma'am sounds like you were looking for a withdrawl, I would be happy to help you with that today.
    SC: Your a [bleeping] idiot, why do you think we all understand your technical lingo
    SC: <click>

    for some reason my SC's have such a hard time saying "Withdraw".



    Living Arraingements


    SC: "Just use my mother in-laws number because we live in her driveway"

    now if thats not a redneck joke I don't know what is



    Holiday


    SC: "I processed me a transaction on Monday and when I looked at the website, it didn't process till Tuesday!"
    ME: "Yes sir, Monday was a holiday, the markets were closed, it went through at Tuesday's market prices"
    SC: "Holiday? What holiday? It weren't no holiday in this country!"
    ME: "Yes, it was Presidents Day sir. We were closed"
    SC: "Well it weren't no Presidents Day here in this country Texas. I didn't know nothing about that!"

    I love how people don't pay attention to anything that happens around them.



    Just Strange


    SC: "My car was broken into by people who speak Russian. Not that I have anything agent Russian people, but there smart and know how to work the system"

    how do you even respond to that?




    Mail


    SC: "Now that is the mailing address?"
    ME: "Yes"
    SC: "Now do I put that out on the outside of the envelope?"

    oh no!

  • #2
    Quoth mckooter View Post
    SC: "Well it weren't no Presidents Day here in this country Texas. I didn't know nothing about that!"
    I must've missed the news bulletin where Texas succeded again. Maybe the Mexicans will take you back. Hey! Why aren't you speaking spanish?
    How was I supposed to know someone was slipping you Birth Control in the food I've been making for you lately?

    Comment


    • #3
      The bigger irony of course is that the current President is from...........wait for it..........Texas! I thought they still liked him down there
      "You know, there are times when it's a source of personal pride not to be human." - Hobbes

      Comment


      • #4
        well, if they do secede again, they need to take him with them this time (and keep him, damnit, anyhoo!). wow, a whole different reality for that one...
        look! it's ghengis khan!
        Sorry, but while I can do many things, extracting heads from anuses isn't one of them. (so sayeth the irv)

        Comment


        • #5
          Quoth mckooter View Post
          <snip>


          SC: "My car was broken into by people who speak Russian. Not that I have anything agent Russian people, but there smart and know how to work the system"<snip>
          Well Gary Oldman did manage to hijack Air Force One back in 1997

          Comment


          • #6
            Quoth MrSunshineState View Post
            Well Gary Oldman did manage to hijack Air Force One back in 1997
            But he's English!
            "I can tell her you're all tied up in the projection room." Sunset Boulevard.

            Comment


            • #7
              Quoth Soulstealer View Post
              I must've missed the news bulletin where Texas succeded again. Maybe the Mexicans will take you back. Hey! Why aren't you speaking spanish?

              Give it time:
              http://michellemalkin.com/2007/07/12...-accept-pesos/

              "You'd feel a Hell of a lot better if you'd just rip into the occasional customer."
              ~Clerks

              Comment


              • #8
                Quoth mckooter View Post
                SC: "My car was broken into by people who speak Russian. Not that I have anything agent Russian people, but there smart and know how to work the system"

                how do you even respond to that?
                "Da."

                Comment


                • #9
                  Living Arraingements


                  SC: "Just use my mother in-laws number because we live in her driveway"

                  now if thats not a redneck joke I don't know what is


                  That one made me burst out laughing! Thanks, I needed that! (Good thing my soup's not ready yet - hot broth, noodles, and - not good.)
                  I don't go in for ancient wisdom
                  I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
                  It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Quoth mckooter View Post

                    SC: "My car was broken into by people who speak Russian. Not that I have anything agent Russian people, but there smart and know how to work the system"

                    how do you even respond to that?
                    Вы будете sucky клиентом!

                    (Translation: You are a sucky customer!)

                    Heh! One thing I like to do from time to time, since I have no life, is to run something through an on-line translator, then run it back to the original language and see how it comes out.

                    This one translates back as "You will be sucky client!"

                    Mike
                    Meow.........

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Quoth mckooter View Post
                      "Well it weren't no Presidents Day here in this country Texas.
                      Woah. I knew Texan egos were big, but I didn't know they were that big.

                      (Don't get mad at me. My husband's a Texan. He cracks the ego jokes more than I do.)

                      Welcome to the boards!
                      "Enough expository banter. It's time we fight like men. And ladies. And ladies who dress like men. For Gilgamesh...IT'S MORPHING TIME!"
                      - Gilgamesh, Final Fantasy V

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Quoth mckooter View Post
                        Mail


                        SC: "Now that is the mailing address?"
                        ME: "Yes"
                        SC: "Now do I put that out on the outside of the envelope?"

                        oh no!
                        Nope. The post office has a new policy. You put the address on the inside of envelope.
                        Check out my cosplay social group!
                        http://customerssuck.com/board/group.php?groupid=18

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Gotta watch them Roosians, them guys are so smart they can break into your car right in front of you, and you can hear them talking and know it is Roosian.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            SC: "My car was broken into by people who speak Russian. Not that I have anything agent Russian people, but there smart and know how to work the system"

                            how do you even respond to that?
                            "In USSR, car breaks into you!"
                            Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

                            "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

                            Comment

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