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As an introduction Id like to add that I work at a callcenter for 401k's so if some things dont seem that bad it might be something only I get, lol. some of these are saved, so they all didnt happen to me, but still hallarious anyways.
SC: Very sucky
ME: New! But not so sucky
Withdrawl
ME: Good afternoon this is McKooter how can I help you today?
SC: I would like to cancell my account.
(this right here can mean many different things, as its a 401k, withdrawl, or just stop contributing, or stop automatic withdrawls)
ME: Yes ma'am let me pull up your account
(verifies personal info)
ME: By cancell what exactly do you mean?
SC: Cancell
ME: Do you mean withdraw because I do see you have seperated service with the state?
SC: No I dont want to withdraw, I want to cancell my account.
ME: Im sorry ma'am I'm not quite sure what you mean by cancell as its not a term that is used on this plan, being seperated if you do not want to withdraw the funds then you do not need to do anything, they will just stay with us untill you need to withdraw or rollover.
SC: No you arent listening to me, I WANT TO CANCELL MY ACCOUNT
ME: Again ma'am, I am not sure what you mean by cancell, are you wanting to withdraw or possibly rollover, or are you looking to just leave the money
(this goes on, back and fourth for like 2 minutes)
ME: Ms. SuckyCustomer it sounds like your not looking to change anything, and everything has been updated to show you are no longer working with (employer) so it would seem that everything is all set Or cancelled as you say.
SC: Wheres my check?
ME: okay ma'am sounds like you were looking for a withdrawl, I would be happy to help you with that today.
SC: Your a [bleeping] idiot, why do you think we all understand your technical lingo
SC: <click>
for some reason my SC's have such a hard time saying "Withdraw".
Living Arraingements
SC: "Just use my mother in-laws number because we live in her driveway"
now if thats not a redneck joke I don't know what is
Holiday
SC: "I processed me a transaction on Monday and when I looked at the website, it didn't process till Tuesday!"
ME: "Yes sir, Monday was a holiday, the markets were closed, it went through at Tuesday's market prices"
SC: "Holiday? What holiday? It weren't no holiday in this country!"
ME: "Yes, it was Presidents Day sir. We were closed"
SC: "Well it weren't no Presidents Day here in this country Texas. I didn't know nothing about that!"
I love how people don't pay attention to anything that happens around them.
Just Strange
SC: "My car was broken into by people who speak Russian. Not that I have anything agent Russian people, but there smart and know how to work the system"
how do you even respond to that?
Mail
SC: "Now that is the mailing address?"
ME: "Yes"
SC: "Now do I put that out on the outside of the envelope?"
oh no!
SC: Very sucky
ME: New! But not so sucky
Withdrawl
ME: Good afternoon this is McKooter how can I help you today?
SC: I would like to cancell my account.
(this right here can mean many different things, as its a 401k, withdrawl, or just stop contributing, or stop automatic withdrawls)
ME: Yes ma'am let me pull up your account
(verifies personal info)
ME: By cancell what exactly do you mean?
SC: Cancell
ME: Do you mean withdraw because I do see you have seperated service with the state?
SC: No I dont want to withdraw, I want to cancell my account.
ME: Im sorry ma'am I'm not quite sure what you mean by cancell as its not a term that is used on this plan, being seperated if you do not want to withdraw the funds then you do not need to do anything, they will just stay with us untill you need to withdraw or rollover.
SC: No you arent listening to me, I WANT TO CANCELL MY ACCOUNT
ME: Again ma'am, I am not sure what you mean by cancell, are you wanting to withdraw or possibly rollover, or are you looking to just leave the money
(this goes on, back and fourth for like 2 minutes)
ME: Ms. SuckyCustomer it sounds like your not looking to change anything, and everything has been updated to show you are no longer working with (employer) so it would seem that everything is all set Or cancelled as you say.
SC: Wheres my check?
ME: okay ma'am sounds like you were looking for a withdrawl, I would be happy to help you with that today.
SC: Your a [bleeping] idiot, why do you think we all understand your technical lingo
SC: <click>
for some reason my SC's have such a hard time saying "Withdraw".
Living Arraingements
SC: "Just use my mother in-laws number because we live in her driveway"
now if thats not a redneck joke I don't know what is
Holiday
SC: "I processed me a transaction on Monday and when I looked at the website, it didn't process till Tuesday!"
ME: "Yes sir, Monday was a holiday, the markets were closed, it went through at Tuesday's market prices"
SC: "Holiday? What holiday? It weren't no holiday in this country!"
ME: "Yes, it was Presidents Day sir. We were closed"
SC: "Well it weren't no Presidents Day here in this country Texas. I didn't know nothing about that!"
I love how people don't pay attention to anything that happens around them.
Just Strange
SC: "My car was broken into by people who speak Russian. Not that I have anything agent Russian people, but there smart and know how to work the system"
how do you even respond to that?
SC: "Now that is the mailing address?"
ME: "Yes"
SC: "Now do I put that out on the outside of the envelope?"
oh no!
"You'd feel a Hell of a lot better if you'd just rip into the occasional customer." 
- not good.)
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