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{Game} Punish the SC!

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  • Punishment: The King of Subs ran after him and beat the Jack full sore; The Jack of (well, you know) brought back the tips, and vowed he’d steal no more.

    Crime: SC is shopping in mid-January and throws a fit because there's no more Christmas clearance left.
    I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
    My LiveJournal
    A page we can all agree with!

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    • Punishment: The SC is forced to work for this shop: http://www.thechristmasshop.co.uk/ and is never allowed to quit.

      Crime: SC knocks over an old lady while shopping in the January sales, and stamps on a toddler's foot on her way out the shop with the dress she bought. Said dress was one she snatched out of the hands of the mother of the toddler, while sneering "It wouldn't suit you anyway" at her. The old lady the SC knocked over is the grandmother of the toddler.
      People who don't like cats were probably mice in an earlier life.
      My DeviantArt.

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      • Punishment: Tiny the Hell's Angel has had a very busy day. Out with the Patriot Guard in the morning to keep the Westboro Baptists from disrupting a soldier's funeral, then a toy run in the afternoon. Comes back home to find that some bitch wearing a Westboro Baptist button attacked his mother, his girlfriend, and his daughter at the mall.

        Crime: SC sneaks his pack of large, noisy, unhousebroken, and human-aggressive dogs into his hotel room. The hotel is a "no pets" facility (another banner under the same "family" has a pet-friendly facility at a similar price point just across the road, and people with service animals are encouraged to go there, in order to accommodate people with pet allergies), and is hosting a "living with allergies" convention.
        Any fool can piss on the floor. It takes a talented SC to shit on the ceiling.

        Comment


        • Punishment:. SC is forced to clean the hotel while wearing a frilly French maid's outfit. The convention attendees all record SC cleaning.

          Crime:. SC mentions Vietnamese midget pr0n within earshot of young children.
          This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."

          I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.

          Comment


          • Punishment: Not children, ghouls, and they haven't had lunch today . . .

            Crime: An SC seeks a new religion and finds a book about the ascetic, emotion-controlling Hard-Diffi Cult. He finds that, to enter, they require the passing of an extremely tough test, which includes being able to resist one's churning emotions, and that the book can help you pass the test. So he studies and studies and studies, making marks and notes all over the book, and highlighting pages. When he goes to take the test, he finds that he was nowhere near mentally ready and fails. You're probably thinking "Kristev, I fail to see the crime here." Shut up and just wait.

            Upon failing to pass the test to enter the Hard-Diffi Cult, the SC brings the book right back to the bookstore and demands a full refund. Everything goes fine until the service desk staff notices all the marks and notes and highlights in the book. She can't do the return now, but he won't accept it. And he goes into quite a rampage. Oh dear. Since the Hard-Diffi Cult is about pushing your emotions aside and learning to face life logically, it's no wonder he failed to join them. But won't someone think about all those poor, innocent books this beast is destroying? Oh please, pretty please, with a ban-hammer on top?
            Customers should always be served . . . to the nearest great white.

            Comment


            • Punishment: Maybe the Church of the Subgenious is more his speed. Let's pray to Jehovah 1 that Bob can set him straight.

              Crime: SC decides that he wants to clean all of his clothes at the same time, so he does his laundry naked. Normally, this wouldn't be a problem, but he does his laundry at a laundromat in the middle of the day with children present.
              This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."

              I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.

              Comment


              • Punishment: A mother of an infant boy laughs at the man, claiming her son is hung better than he is. Then she changes the boy's diaper, proving her statement to be true. Everyone present laughs at the man who runs out the door crying.

                Crime: Hackers hack into the store's webpage, posting pictures of barnyard porn where the ads for children's toys should be.
                I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
                My LiveJournal
                A page we can all agree with!

                Comment


                • Punishment: The website has a reflecting defense, which allows the porn to be turned back upon the hackers. They can't even check their e-mail now.

                  Crime: A man comes up to the restaurant's counter with his family. They say they didn't get their order. The trouble is, between every member of the family, they've managed to get their meal after all. Seven times. Where, oh where, are the food police?
                  Customers should always be served . . . to the nearest great white.

                  Comment


                  • Punishment: Isn't modern technology wonderful? Security cameras in the restaurant caught the family not only eating their own meals but stealing the tips off of the other tables! Officer Friendly, having a cup of coffee at the counter, was very interested in the video; so interested that every member of the family got a lovely pair of shiny connected bracelets!

                    Crime: Grocery store customer picks his nose and wipes it on the produce.
                    I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
                    My LiveJournal
                    A page we can all agree with!

                    Comment


                    • Punishment: The cashier, who has a flu that, were she not working retail, she'd be bedridden with, can't control it any longer. She sneezes and the fans direct the germs at that horrid S. C.

                      Crime: I feel like making a crime out of music again. Not one word about The Unsafety Dance at Glibby's Glass. So strike up the banned because here it comes (thought we all wish she wouldn't). . .

                      It's the little old shopper from Pasadena

                      The little old shopper from Pasadena
                      (Go away granny, go away granny, go away granny, go)
                      Got what she wanted at the deli yet still caused a scene there
                      (Go away granny, go away granny, go away granny, go)
                      She's sent all the electric carts to the garage
                      By the way that she drives them, while everyone else must dodge.

                      And everybody's sayin' that there's nobody meaner than
                      The little old shopper from Pasadena
                      She screams real loud and she drives bargains hard
                      And don't you dare give her flack about her (expired) credit card!
                      It's the little old shopper from Pasadena

                      If you see her in a store, go to the competition.
                      (Go away granny, go away granny, go away granny, go)
                      She knocks other elderly shoppers down like she's on a mission
                      (Go away granny, go away granny, go away granny, go)
                      But no matter what she does, she's always welcomed back
                      Because every C. E. O. in town have all got her back.

                      And everybody's sayin' that there's nobody meaner than
                      The Little Old shopper From Pasadena
                      She thinks the express lane is meant only for her
                      And if you dare to disagree, she'll club you with her purse.
                      It's the little old shopper from Pasadena

                      You can catch her all the time, but why would you want to?
                      (Go away granny, go away granny, go away granny, go)
                      The one person who bested her, she slapped with a lawsuit.
                      (Go away granny, go away granny, go away granny, go)
                      And she's famous for her coupons (Oh please, make her stop!)
                      By the time she was done, the store paid her to shop!

                      And everybody's sayin' that there's nobody meaner than
                      The little old shopper from Pasadena
                      She tells people what they can and can't buy though they're total strangers
                      Plus, the way she left the bathroom made it a complete danger . . .
                      It's the little old shopper from Pasadena

                      Go away granny, go away granny, go away granny, go (come on granny, go)
                      Go away granny, go away granny, go away granny, go (come on granny, go)
                      Go away granny, go away granny, go away granny, go (come on granny, go)
                      And so on and so on.

                      We're needing a counter-song, and a voodoo doll here!
                      Customers should always be served . . . to the nearest great white.

                      Comment


                      • Punishment: Whoever wrote this song is getting a paper cutter.

                        Crime: SC decides that scaring cats would be hilarious. SC brings a recording of barking dogs and plays it at the local cat shelter.
                        This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."

                        I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.

                        Comment


                        • Punishment: This is why kitties have claws. There's not much left of the SC by the time they're through.

                          Crime: SC has learned their lesson. They're not going to get caught, oh no. See, they stole the hot new movie from Kay's Mart, but they never unwrapped it. This is a means of getting money, but this SC has learned from the telly what happens if you steal from a store and then try to return that merchandise there for money. But it didn't show what happens when you try to return the sealed package at another store. So SC stole from Kay's Mart, didn't unwrap it, and then brought the hot new movie to Sprawl Mart and returned it there.

                          Will they get away with this?
                          Customers should always be served . . . to the nearest great white.

                          Comment


                          • Punishment: Kay's Mart has a very good security camera setup. Full color, sound, everything. They got a good video of the SC pocketing the movie and the manager, being one who cares about fair play, e-mailed copies of the video to every store in the city that sells movies, as well as the local police. The Sprawl Mart manager has seen this video, saw the SC coming into the store with the movie, and has called the police while the SC waits in the very long returns line. The police show up before SC returns his movie and arrest him.

                            Crime: Rob R. Chex has had his checks bounce at every store in town. Now his check has been refused at the grocery store. He proceeds to throw a tantrum and demolish half the store.
                            I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
                            My LiveJournal
                            A page we can all agree with!

                            Comment


                            • Punishment: Unfortunately for Mr. Chex, the grocery store owner is into "littles." She decides if Mr. Chex was acting like a big baby, then she was going to turn him into a big baby. She selects a crib, ties him up tucks him in, gags gives him a binky, dresses him in a baby outfit, and *sniff, sniff* what's that smell? Someone did a stinky! It's time to change baby bobby's diaper!

                              The store owner, known in adult baby circles as Mommy Beatrix, uploads pictures and videos of her brand new baby to the internet. She not only makes enough to cover the damage to her store, but she is able to pay off the other store owners and make a nice, tidy profit. She might just adopt baby bobby.

                              Beatrix: "Who's a cute little criminal? Yes, you are. Yes, you are."
                              Baby bobby:


                              Crime: Sucky landlord runs an apartment building. He brings his male lover to a unit to "check his temperature." The only problem is that the landlord is currently renting this unit out to a young couple. The renter caught the whole adventure on video. Oops!

                              Yes, that actually happened.
                              This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."

                              I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.

                              Comment


                              • Punishment: The landlord is forced to sell his apartment building to pay his lawyer. His new cell mate uses the former landlord's prison uniform to wipe up stains.

                                Crime: The SC walks into a music store. He wants the clerk to "play" his "instrument" allegro.
                                This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."

                                I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.

                                Comment

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