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Your brain is full of spiders, You've got garlic in your soul, Mr. SC...

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  • Your brain is full of spiders, You've got garlic in your soul, Mr. SC...

    Well, it's Christmas time, which always means we are crazy busy at <Red Checkmark> and the SCs get even more intense. Ready for some Holiday hell? Here we go!

    Domestic dispute dispute

    I feel bad for this guy to A POINT. Apparently his wife was not who he thought she was and after several years of marriage she bailed on him for another dude. While they were together, he decided to put wifey on his cell phone plan and even get her a tablet too.

    Perhaps you can see where this is going...

    He's mad at his ex because she was apparently supposed to transfer the phone and tablet lines into her name so he didn't have to pay them any more...but she hasn't yet. My SC is very unhappy about this wants me to, get this, MOVE THEM FOR HIM. As in, set up an account in HER NAME and switch those lines over to it!

    After politely explaining to him how fraud works, he seemed to get it but then asked me again to move them.

    Move them...where? A black hole? Jupiter? The Grand Canyon? I can't just up and make two lines disappear for you buddy, it doesn't work that way. I know this situation sucks but you chose to add these lines to an account in YOUR name which means YOU are financially repsonsible for them. I feel for your personal situation, but there's not a lot you can do about your wireless account unless you're willing to eat the cancellation fees.

    Oh and did I mention he spent pretty much the ENTIRE call referring to his ex by every nasty name in the book? I was MORE than happy when he finally hung up on me.



    Another one for the "Ruined Christmas" scorecard...

    You currently owe use around $623, some of which is already past due. Your due date is the 11th and here you are asking me to change your due date to the 27th because you want to make sure little Johhny can get his new bike for Christmas.

    Now, we do offer promise to pay, the problem is, the length of time we can give you is solely dependent on the system. I can only give you what it says I can give you and unfortunately for you, I can only give you until the 21st.

    Yes, I realize that's BEFORE Christmas and I realize that will make it difficult on your budget but that doesn't change the fact that we can't set it any later than that.

    No, I can't override the system.

    No, my manager can't override the system.

    What are you supposed to do now? I don't know, talk to your family members, get a second job, budget more reasonably?

    He ended the call by saying he was going to tell his kids that <Red Checkmark> will be the reason they don't get any presents this year. Score one for the Grinch!

    This is one Christmas miracle you won't be getting

    Me: Thank you for calling <Red Checkmark>, how --
    SC: I NEED AN IPHONE X TOMORROW!
    Me: That's going to be difficult. Stock is very limited right now. I may be able--
    SC: I DON'T CARE!! FIND ME ONE!!
    Me: Unfortuantely I'm showing all the <Red checkmark> stores in your area are sold out.
    SC: THEN SEND ME ONE!!
    Me: We have none available for immediate shipment online and even if we did, you wouldn't have it by tomorrow.
    SC: OVERNIGHT IT!
    Me: I just said we have no available.
    SC: FIND ME A DAMN IPHONE X. I NEED ONE BY TOMORROW!
    Me: Is there some reason you're in such a rush to get one?
    SC: NONE OF YOUR DAMNED BUSINESS!
    Me: (this is going well...) Okay sir, if you absolutely need one by tomorrow you'll have to find somewhere besides <Red Checkmark> to get it. May I suggest Best Buy, Target or Apple?
    SC: CAN YOU CALL THEM AND SEE IF THEY HAVE IT?
    Me: I'm afraid not. That's on you sir.
    SC: YOU'RE F***ING USELESS! *click*



    Let's (NOT) make a deal

    I get it, everyone is looking for deals around this time of year and while <Red Checkmark> is running some holiday promos, there's a certain class of SC that seems to think there are some super secret, super fancy deals we offer that are NOT advertised.

    Sorry to break it you, SCs, but no, there aren't.

    Occasionally we do make special offers to customers who are threatening to cancel service, but not to the point of offering steep discounts for the latest and greatest.

    And no, we don't have to honor this offer of a Galaxy S8 that you found from some BS coupon site on the internet. Your threat to sue us over that is equally laughable.

    The deals are what the deals are, folks. I'm just a phone jockey, not a magic man.

    If I had any faith left in humanity, you just killed it

    It took a lady TEN MINUTES to find her home button, then it took me another five minutes to teach her how to use it. A 38 minute call all because she couldn't figure out how to change the text size on her phone...

    That sucks but it's not our problem

    This is kind of the flip side of the first story. Father gives his adult son the PIN number on the account so he could do something at a store, I don't remember what it was.

    While he was there, the store rep talks him into upgrading to an iPhone 8 and picking up a few accessories, which he conveniently can bill to daddys account.

    Daddy calls in after getting his bill and is currently ripping me a new one demanding I reverse the upgrade and credit all the related charges.

    Sorry dude, no dice. The problem is you WILLINGLY and VOLUNTARILY gave your son the code to gain full access to your account. That he did something you didn't want him to is not our problem. May I suggest asking your adult son to, I don't know you, pay you back?

    Annnnd now I'm getting cussed out.

    Once again, this is NOT fraud, you GAVE HIM THE CODE. Think of it this way, If I give you my debit card and PIN number I don't get to go whine to the bank if you drain my account unless I want to be laughed out of there. Same concept. I can suspend the line to get your sons attention and I would HIGHLY recommend changing your PIN IMMEDIATELY.

    No, I can't give you a credit for "inconvenience".

    That's...not how this works.

    For some reason a LOT of my customers seem unable to grasp the concept of "Cloud computing". They think the Cloud is one big universal service run by only a single company that anyone should be easily able to access at any time.

    Consider this statement from an SC I had two weeks ago: "I got some e-mail about cloud services. What clouds? I don't want clouds, I don't use clouds."

    So I spend a few minutes explaining what cloud services are and how they work and he still doesn't really understand, saying: "I have no idea why people would want to store their stuff in clouds."

    At that point I kind of mentally checked out. He rambled on about clouds for another few minutes and then hung up.

    I really can't stand these people sometimes.
    "If we refund your money, give you a free replacement and shoot the manager, then will you be happy?" - sign seen in a restaurant

  • #2
    ...there's a certain class of SC that seems to think there are some super secret, super fancy deals we offer that are NOT advertised.

    And there's a class of scam/superstition that preys on this mentality. I've heard this sort of thing considered as "well, rich people get to haggle special deals, or turn less money into more money by such-and-such tactics, why shouldn't I?" A lot of financial scams are basically cargo-culting real high-end financial maneuvers -- the sort you can do if you can put your vintage Lamborghini up as collateral, or buy a caviar dinner for the bank's president,, etc. ad nauseum..

    Of course, the scam pitch or urban legend conveniently neglects the points that the victims aren't rich, and don't have the money or contacts to do major financial stunts, score special deals, etc. Not to mention they don't have the security to recover if the deal doesn't work out -- where the rich guy is risking his cocaine money, the poor person is risking their rent money.

    "I have no idea why people would want to store their stuff in clouds."

    I do understand clouds, and more than half agree. As the saying goes, cloud computing often means you can't access your data, because of the failure of a machine who's existence you had no reason to suspect. But then, a lot of people don't understand client versus server anyway, and clouds are just a generalization of servers.
    Last edited by Mental_Mouse; 12-05-2017, 10:23 PM.

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    • #3
      Quoth CrazedClerkthe2nd View Post
      No, I can't give you a credit for "inconvenience".
      They keep using this word. I do not think it means what they think it means.
      This was one of those times where my mouth says "have a nice day" but my brain says "go step on a Lego". - RegisterAce
      I can't make something magically appear to fulfill all your hopes and dreams. Believe me, if I could I'd be the first person I'd help. - Trixie

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      • #4
        "You currently owe use around $623, some of which is already past due. Your due date is the 11th and here you are asking me to change your due date to the 27th because you want to make sure little Johhny can get his new bike for Christmas."

        We get this all the time also. 97% of the time from people that are just paying last months bill (a month behind in reality).

        I have made lots of friendly suggestion that 'THEY' could easily "change" the due date by, you know, paying ahead of time since the excuse is always "lands in the week i don't get paid" so they would ask to be moved back or forward a week (mainly forward).
        “The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser men so full of doubts.”
        ― Bertrand Russell

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        • #5
          Old men really DO yell at clouds!
          - They say nothing good happens at 2AM, they're right, I happen at 2AM.

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          • #6
            Quoth CrazedClerkthe2nd View Post
            Well, it's Christmas time, which always means we are crazy busy at <Red Checkmark> and the SCs get even more intense. Ready for some Holiday hell? Here we go!



            That's...not how this works.

            For some reason a LOT of my customers seem unable to grasp the concept of "Cloud computing". They think the Cloud is one big universal service run by only a single company that anyone should be easily able to access at any time.

            Consider this statement from an SC I had two weeks ago: "I got some e-mail about cloud services. What clouds? I don't want clouds, I don't use clouds."

            So I spend a few minutes explaining what cloud services are and how they work and he still doesn't really understand, saying: "I have no idea why people would want to store their stuff in clouds."

            At that point I kind of mentally checked out. He rambled on about clouds for another few minutes and then hung up.

            I really can't stand these people sometimes.
            Wow. If my 82 year old mother can understand what the cloud is, then well, others should as well. I will say my mom was having trouble, and as I was explaining it, a light bulb went off. Her analogy was "oh its like a basement or an attic, where you keep stuff you don't use all the time, until you need it and then download it when you do" YES! Now she totally gets it.

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            • #7
              Quoth Argabarga View Post
              Old men really DO yell at clouds!
              Damnit, I hope you plan on buying me a new monitor for Christmas.
              To right the countless wrongs of our days... We shine this light of true redemption, that this place may become as paradise...Oh, what a wonderful world such would be...

              Comment


              • #8
                I’m having trouble wrapping my head around the first story with the guy and his ex wife. If the plan was HIS plan, why didn’t he just cancel the ex’s phone and tablet? I mean, it’s pretty clear how he felt, so cutting her off should not have been an issue, IMHO. I get that he can’t set up an entirely new account in his ex’s Name and transfer the lines to it, but why not just cancel them?
                "We guard the souls in heaven; we don't horse-trade them!" Samandrial in Supernatural

                RIP Plaidman.

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                • #9
                  Quoth Dave1982 View Post
                  why didn’t he just cancel the ex’s phone and tablet?
                  The phone and tablet were apparently subsidized by the plan; the term "cancellation fees" was hidden in the story.

                  If it had been a car loan in his name, I don't know whether he could tell the lender not to expect more payments and "here's where you can find the car," but electronic devices are generally too small for repo men.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Quoth Argus View Post
                    The phone and tablet were apparently subsidized by the plan; the term "cancellation fees" was hidden in the story.

                    If it had been a car loan in his name, I don't know whether he could tell the lender not to expect more payments and "here's where you can find the car," but electronic devices are generally too small for repo men.
                    This is correct. Dude could have cancelled the lines but he would have been on the hook for about $400 remaining on the lease plan for the phone and $100 on the cancellation fee for the tablet. If he chose not to pay those, his one active line would be suspended as well. So unless he wants to cut us a decent size check, he'll have to fight with the ex to get the lines off.
                    "If we refund your money, give you a free replacement and shoot the manager, then will you be happy?" - sign seen in a restaurant

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I think about an ex who I let into my join acct, she left me on deployment and was stealing all my money thanks to direct deposit.

                      I was able to call from Spain, and they thought I would mad about he $10 card kill fee, shit she's taking me for $$$'s who cares about that!.

                      Put a Pw on the account and was warned she could still cut checks.
                      humm
                      Gave it a day and called asking if they took her card at the store, checks are cut off lots of stuff.
                      So to "get back at me" she put the check book in the garbage disposal.

                      I'll give her this, she did lots of what would be ID theft today, so she was ahead of her time in 1994 and by the time there were laws, they were too far in the past to have her charged.
                      Last edited by Rosco the Iroc; 12-13-2017, 07:10 PM.
                      AkaiKitsune
                      Sarcasm dear, sarcasm. I’m well aware that dealing with civilians in any capacity will skin your faith in humanity alive, then pickle anything that remains so as to watch it shrivel up into an immortal husk thus reminding you of how dead inside you now are.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I've always defined "cloud computing" as "Storing your important data on someone else's computer that you don't control." They may be better at recovery and security than you are, they may not be. Up to you if you want to roll those dice.
                        "If your day is filled with firefighting, you need to start taking the matches away from the toddlers…” - HM

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Quoth CrazedClerkthe2nd View Post
                          I can't just up and make two lines disappear for you buddy, it doesn't work that way. I know this situation sucks but you chose to add these lines to an account in YOUR name which means YOU are financially responsible for them. I feel for your personal situation, but there's not a lot you can do about your wireless account unless you're willing to eat the cancellation fees.
                          Question about this...since there appear to be extenuating circumstances here (the ex wife seems to be refusing to put the other devices in her name), could you waive the fees?

                          If he would have behaved himself and asked nicely and not referred to his ex with all those names, would you have tried to work with him?

                          I do get that canceling and re-establishing service seems to be the way to go, but it appears in this case he's trying to "fix" a problem, and wanted to stay with <red checkmark>. He just didn't want to pay for his ex wife's devices any longer. And I don't blame him.
                          Skilled programmers aren't cheap. Cheap programmers aren't skilled.

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                          • #14
                            Quoth Crossbow View Post
                            They may be better at recovery and security than you are, they may not be. Up to you if you want to roll those dice.
                            ...and that's why I don't use the cloud. The other reason, is that most of the time...it's claimed to be a service that never fails. It's nothing more than a bunch of servers. Servers, which do require maintenance, and *can* fail. Also, while you can get the data, it's nowhere near as instantaneous. It can take days to download. No thanks--I'll use a bunch of discs, and mirror my machine's hard drives on my own server.
                            Aerodynamics are for people who can't build engines. --Enzo Ferrari

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                            • #15
                              Quoth protege View Post
                              No thanks--I'll use a bunch of discs, and mirror my machine's hard drives on my own server.
                              I use both. I back up to the cloud every time I do anything major, and I back up my files to a thumb drive on a regular basis as well.

                              I work on the theory that the thumb drive is kept on the same desk as the computer, so if the cause of the failure is external (theft, fire, flood) then the thumb drive will be destroyed as well. Backing up the important bits to the cloud allows me to download the data (slowly, let's be honest) later when I have a new PC. If it's a hard-drive or motherboard failure, the thumb drive is fine.
                              "It is traditional when asking for help or advice to listen to the answers you receive" - RealUnimportant

                              Rev that Engine Louder, I Can't Hear How Small Your Dick Is - Jay 2K Winger

                              The Darwin Awards The best site to visit to restore your faith in instant karma.

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