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Another day at the zoo I call a job, and as usual I was ready to toss somebody in the tiger pen. Then it was off to do all my weekend chasing so I wouldn't have to go out tomorrow when it's supposed to snow again
Ummmmm...Durrrrrr.....
I don't know what was wrong with this guy, but I sincerely hope it involved illegal narcotics. Otherwise he's just a big steaming pile of dense.
Guy: Duuuuddddeeeee.....are you a customer?
Me: (in my company-issued polo shirt and nametag) No, I'm an employee (not off to a good start, are we?)
Guy: .....................
Me:
I work here.
Guy: .....................
Me: Can I help you? (If you don't answer, my next question will be "How many fingers am I holding up?")
Guy: Yeah
Me: Okay, what can I help you find?
Guy: ..........................
Me: What are you looking for?
Guy............................
Me: Can I help you? (If you don't answer, my next question will be "Can you point to your nose?")
Guy: Ummmm...where are...jeans?
Before I could usher this MENSA member over to the jeans, an older man, possibly the guy's father, came over, said "There you are! Jeremy, we're looking for something for your mom!" and the two of them left.
CBFH, please pick up the white courtesy phone
Perhaps you missed the four carryout calls that came in one right after the other. This is not the time to schmooze with the one female employee in the entire store who isn't completely grossed out by your laughable attempts to hit on her, and in fact is kinda flattered. I am loading up a complete bedroom set and three co-workers are getting recliners, bookcases and card table sets ready. This is not our job today; we're just doing it so customers won't bitch. Why yes, I did page you to answer one of the carryout calls. God forbid I should expect you to...you know, DO YOUR JOB!
And you wonder why your hours were cut....
Attention please!
Would the customer who left his personalized concrete company jacket, Moe Ronn (obviously fake name, to protect the innocent), please come and pick it up from the chair in the furniture department he draped it on before he forgets it? I could use a new one. Oh look, Carhartt!
(I was very tempted to make the above post when I found the jacket in the furniture department with the owner not apparently nearby; fortunately he came and picked it up before he left.)
To the various and sundry asshats who park their trucks and SUVs using one parking stall per axle:
I realize you spent good money on that gas-guzzling pickup or tricked-out SUV because you figured it would make people act like the Japanese guys in that one South Park episode complimenting you on your mastodonic, bulbous penis. However, this does not give you the right to park your fossil-fueled penis mightier with its ass end hanging into the spot behind it just because you thing some yahoo might come too fast around the corner and bump into it. That makes that space unusable because I sure as hell an not going to have my car's ass end sticking out into the traffic lane.
Thanks to no fewer than three SUVs and trucks parked in this manner, I had to circle the lot at the mall for 15 minutes to find a decent parking place.
PS--nobody's going to mistake that Wee Dandy Doblin of your yours for Stretch Armstrong. Deal with it.
Ummmmm...Durrrrrr.....
I don't know what was wrong with this guy, but I sincerely hope it involved illegal narcotics. Otherwise he's just a big steaming pile of dense.
Guy: Duuuuddddeeeee.....are you a customer?
Me: (in my company-issued polo shirt and nametag) No, I'm an employee (not off to a good start, are we?)
Guy: .....................
Me:
I work here.Guy: .....................
Me: Can I help you? (If you don't answer, my next question will be "How many fingers am I holding up?")
Guy: Yeah
Me: Okay, what can I help you find?
Guy: ..........................
Me: What are you looking for?
Guy............................
Me: Can I help you? (If you don't answer, my next question will be "Can you point to your nose?")
Guy: Ummmm...where are...jeans?
Before I could usher this MENSA member over to the jeans, an older man, possibly the guy's father, came over, said "There you are! Jeremy, we're looking for something for your mom!" and the two of them left.
CBFH, please pick up the white courtesy phone
Perhaps you missed the four carryout calls that came in one right after the other. This is not the time to schmooze with the one female employee in the entire store who isn't completely grossed out by your laughable attempts to hit on her, and in fact is kinda flattered. I am loading up a complete bedroom set and three co-workers are getting recliners, bookcases and card table sets ready. This is not our job today; we're just doing it so customers won't bitch. Why yes, I did page you to answer one of the carryout calls. God forbid I should expect you to...you know, DO YOUR JOB!
And you wonder why your hours were cut....
Attention please!
Would the customer who left his personalized concrete company jacket, Moe Ronn (obviously fake name, to protect the innocent), please come and pick it up from the chair in the furniture department he draped it on before he forgets it? I could use a new one. Oh look, Carhartt!
(I was very tempted to make the above post when I found the jacket in the furniture department with the owner not apparently nearby; fortunately he came and picked it up before he left.)
To the various and sundry asshats who park their trucks and SUVs using one parking stall per axle:
I realize you spent good money on that gas-guzzling pickup or tricked-out SUV because you figured it would make people act like the Japanese guys in that one South Park episode complimenting you on your mastodonic, bulbous penis. However, this does not give you the right to park your fossil-fueled penis mightier with its ass end hanging into the spot behind it just because you thing some yahoo might come too fast around the corner and bump into it. That makes that space unusable because I sure as hell an not going to have my car's ass end sticking out into the traffic lane.
Thanks to no fewer than three SUVs and trucks parked in this manner, I had to circle the lot at the mall for 15 minutes to find a decent parking place.
PS--nobody's going to mistake that Wee Dandy Doblin of your yours for Stretch Armstrong. Deal with it.
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