Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Total disconnect from reality-The special snowflake.

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #16
    Quoth Sheldonrs View Post
    The only thing I learned from riding a horse was NEVER wear a large belt buckle with sharp edges! LOL
    The only thing I ever learned from trying to ride a horse was to stay the hell off horses. And to stay far, far away from horses. And to never, ever think about being near horses ever again. Get right back on the horse, my ass. I don't need to ride horses. There are cars and bicycles and motorcycles and buses and taxis and plain old shoes to get me where I'm going.

    Comment


    • #17
      At one point, a group of software engineers from work went on a trail ride together. Most of us had never been on a horse before, so we got the lecture on how to tell a neck-reined horse where to go. E.g., hold the reins in your fist and point your fist to the left to go left, point it to the right to go right, pull it back toward you to slow down/stop, and to go NOW just kick your heels back.

      One guy quipped, "I get it--a point-and-kick user interface!"

      ... Trust a software engineer to find that pun ...
      “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged.
      One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world.
      The other, of course, involves orcs." -- John Rogers

      Comment


      • #18
        I can recall two instances of trying to ride horses.

        The first one was on a pony that walking to the middle of a creek and splashed a lot of water, getting my legs wet. He seemed to enjoy it.

        The second one was a group ride. My part of the group arrived late, quickly mounted up, and started after the main. The horses had other ideas and just headed back to the barn. End of ride.

        As for big belt buckles, I have a lovely big belt buckle which features the Goodyear blimp. Mrs. IA won't let me wear it until I lose another 10 pounds.
        "I don't have to be petty. The Universe does that for me."

        Comment


        • #19
          Fallen off a horse, stepped on by a horse (a BIG one), bitten by a horse . . . I'll pet a horse, but you'll never get me on one again!

          Comment


          • #20
            My one experience riding a horse was actually quite good.. of course the owner walked beside us, and it was an experienced horse (one of those that you used to be able to ride at a fair) It was just a leisurely jaunt down my road and back. Was a beautiful horse, all caramel color.
            Engaged to the amazing Marmalady. She is my Silver Dragon, shining as bright as the sun. I her Black Dragon (though good honestly), dark as night..fierce and strong.

            Comment


            • #21
              Quoth CyberLurch View Post
              The only thing I ever learned from trying to ride a horse was to stay the hell off horses. And to stay far, far away from horses. And to never, ever think about being near horses ever again. Get right back on the horse, my ass. I don't need to ride horses. There are cars and bicycles and motorcycles and buses and taxis and plain old shoes to get me where I'm going.
              This is me after having been thrown which resulted in a sprain and possible some of my spinal issues. Speaking of, I've been in pain to the point of ugly tears today, but Nunavut, that line about what the horse was thinking made me laugh so hard. I needed that.
              "Is it hot in here to you? It's very warm, isn't it?"--Nero, probably

              Comment


              • #22
                That kid reminds me of a certain girl who went to the same riding stables I did. She always looked down on those of us who rode the riding school horses, cuz her horse was a pony Arab who cost a fortune so therefore that made her better. Her mother actually was barred from watching the lessons cuz she kept on shouting the wrong advice to Precious, ie "Sit well back!" when we were jumping. Precious never stopped bragging about how she was going to clean up at the gymkhana cuz of her superior horse, which made us all very irritated as she rode that horse as tho he was a seaside donkey. She got on my last nerve when she insulted the mare I was riding at the time, calling her a "stubborn old mule"; yes, Ebony could be a bit of a bitch, but riding her properly meant that you got a good ride out of her. I got my revenge at the gymkhana cuz my "stubborn old mule" was placed above her pony Arab in the showing class cuz, get this, we were judged on riding ability. XD She flounced off bawling her eyes out and her mother tried to get the result changed, with zero success.
                People who don't like cats were probably mice in an earlier life.
                My DeviantArt.

                Comment


                • #23
                  I haven't been on anything equine since waaaay back in the middle ages when I was, um, maybe 13? And I went to an amusement park with someone, and they had pony rides. I remember being surprised at how wide the back of the pony seemed! Always wanted to learn to ride but never did.
                  When you start at zero, everything's progress.

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Quoth AkaiKitsune View Post
                    He is over the 16mark but another fun fact. When you compete at that level, it's because you started very very young, when your mind was still disconnected from the fear of possible injury. Starting at 17, no matter how good your horse, you will never reach that level. On some level your brain will always understand the risk involved and will subconsciously hold you back. This isn't a sport where those who hesitate live long. It's why it takes so long to even start jumping or competing. A split second is all it takes, a moment of weakness where your instructor says do it and your mind says if I fuck up it'll hurt. When you are sitting 10ft up on 1500lbs of muscle and one of you hesitates or makes an error you are going to meet the ground. At speed.



                    .
                    Got a Welsh Cob at 5, was jumping at 6, got my first full sized horse at 7 and had him til I was 18 and sold him for college money. I did dressage and my field event was steeplechase [fox hunting without the fox or class =) ] And yes, us kiddies were 'fearless' Got my share of injuries, including a broken ankle from being thrown at the bottom of a slide jump 5 miles into the round and having to remount and finish the last 5 miles because when you are in the ass end of nowhere, you do what you need to to get through it. I was 14.

                    But when you are 5 cavalettis are fun, I could probably still do a large square or bowtie fan in my sleep. I can remember being trailing rider for a bunch of students [earning my stable fees =) ] being asleep laid back on my mount after a long night =) Do wish I could ride, and I coudl do with a few horsie hugs right now. Can't even have my cats here because the chemo is to toxic for them to be around =(
                    EVE Online: 99% of the time you sit around waiting for something to happen, but that 1% of action is what hooks people like crack, you don't get interviewed by the BBC for a WoW raid.

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      Quoth CyberLurch View Post
                      The only thing I ever learned from trying to ride a horse was to stay the hell off horses. And to stay far, far away from horses. And to never, ever think about being near horses ever again. Get right back on the horse, my ass. I don't need to ride horses. There are cars and bicycles and motorcycles and buses and taxis and plain old shoes to get me where I'm going.
                      This would also be me. I've never been injured while horseback riding, but I very obviously did NOT inherit my mother's affinity for horses. The only time I was on the back of anything equine and wasn't at all nervous was in my very green salad days ... which were far enough back that those were the days when a man would walk around neighbourhoods, leading a pony, and parents would get their kids' photos taken while sitting on the back of the pony.

                      Many years later, a friend got me on the back of an actual horse. Pretty sure the horse was thinking, "What the HELL did I do to deserve this??"
                      Customer service: More efficient than a Dementor's kiss
                      ~ Mr Hero

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        I haven't been on a horse in years, but the last time I went riding was back when my uncle used to have a herd of them up at the family property in the mountains. He wanted to set up a trail riding business but it didn't get very far, largely because my uncle was a dreamer, not a do-er. Anyhow, I went up there with my family - me, my toddler, my brother and sister, and my parents - and after my uncle watched my mother and I saddle our horses he declared that my mother wasn't allowed to saddle up unless he was there. Me, on the other hand, could go for a ride whenever I wanted. My mother pitched a huge fit...because she said she'd had way more experience than I did saddling and riding, even though she hadn't gone near a horse in over 20 years at that point. My uncle so kindly pointed out that if he hadn't made sure to check the saddles before we went out for our first ride that my mother would have had a very uncomfortable ride from the underside of her horse. Plus, none of the horses much liked my mother, and one tried to bite her shoulder.

                        I used to ride whenever I got the chance while I was growing up. Several friends of mine had horses and they would let me ride in return for helping muck stalls. We never had a horse of our own because my mother said we didn't have the space (when we lived on a farm with plenty of room for a horse or two) or couldn't afford it. I found out years later from one of my aunts that my mother had a history of being abusive to horses, which I'm sure my uncle's horses could pick up some how. No matter how many times I got thrown by a horse - or swept off the back of one after he took it upon himself to run under a low hanging branch...asshole horse - I still kept getting back on.

                        I don't ride these days but that's because riding stables aren't that common here. Or at least there aren't any that are accessible by bus :/

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          Quoth Pixelated View Post
                          ... Pretty sure the horse was thinking, ...
                          "Can I go to dog food heaven instead?"
                          I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
                          Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
                          Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            I had a quarter horse growing up. The equine version of the Toyota Camry. Nothing special, but it worked. I miss him.
                            - They say nothing good happens at 2AM, they're right, I happen at 2AM.

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              Yeah, I started riding at 14 years, and never quite got past the nervousness of jumping. Couldn't get around my own head enough to do anything more than the most basic of jumps.

                              I had fun though.

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                Theory: The boy doesn't really like horse riding and is only doing it because his mom insists he do it or she'll cut off his access to the sizable piggy bank.
                                "If we refund your money, give you a free replacement and shoot the manager, then will you be happy?" - sign seen in a restaurant

                                Comment

                                Working...
                                X