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As I might have mentioned I've not worked true customer service for a long time, but I 've had some time on my hands to write up some memorable customers from my customer service days. I'm putting this in sightings because they were not all sucky, some are just cute stories.
Cute Couple
I'm at McDonalds, working cash, during an extreme lull. A couple come in (M – man W - woman), I greet them, they tell me they need a minute, and start talking with each other about the menu. I'm not actively eavesdropping, but am sort of listening in while I piddle around behind the counter, and hear about 5 minutes of this
M – she's not going to do that
W – of course she will, they probably get asked this all the time
M – there is no way shes going to make that for you
W – why not, I'm going to ask
Then they speak up and tell me they are ready to order
Me *Completely dreading whatever hell that is about to happen*: Absolutely, what can I get for you?
M: I'd like a burger, fries and coke (or whatever he ordered)
Me: Certainly and for you? *to the woman*
W: I'd like a burger, fries coke, and can you make the coke
M *interrupting*: she's not going to do it
W *aside*: she will! *to me* 1/2 regular coke and 1/2 diet coke with 1/2 regular amount of ice
Me 'Thank the freaking deity!': Certainly anything else today?
M *incredulously*: That's it? Just sure and anything else? You are really going to make her that?
W: She probably gets that all the time, don't you. I bet lots of people order it like that!
Me: Nope, never, not even once, but .... sure, anything else?
After they left, I was laughing for a couple of hours about their reactions. If he only knew what kind of crap 'special requests' people made of me on an hourly basis he would have understand my complete and total indifference to that particular request.
No Clue
Still at McDonalds, and I'm about 16 years old. A large group of guys about my age has come in and ordered one at time until it's the last guys turn
Last Guy: I don't have any money but we can make a deal (he said it kind of half way between a statement and a question)
Me: I very much doubt it
LG: If you buy me a Big Mac I'll let you give me a blowjob
Me *looking over his shoulder to the people behind him* Can I help who's next please
(Let's face it, that 'deal' wasn't even worth a response)
All last guys friends are killing themselves laughing and as they go to be seated he's saying 'What? I thought that would work, I'm way better looking than her, I thought she'd be grateful'
Normally I'd call this guy the biggest asshole in the world but his sincerity and general cluelessness makes him a little bit of a sympathetic figure. So I'd just like to say this to him - It's a good thing you're pretty, because you obviously have nothing else to contribute to society.
At least this wasn't a literal sighting
Working the overnight shift at Tim Hortons, and my boss calls me about 3 hours after I get home to find out why there is a sign taped to the wall in the mens washroom :If you must masturbate in the bathroom please finish in the toilet or use some toilet paper. Thank You.
I simply explained that it turns out people don't know this, and while cleaning semen off the bathroom walls at work gets old, I draw the line at standing on the toilet to scrub it off the ceiling (seriously, how did you even accomplish that?) I thought it was time we had some instructions for our customers. She was not that sympethetic to my point of veiw.
You can do better
Overnight at Tim Hortons again, you come in at 2 in the morning, obviously upset, but calm and in control, with about 28 cents on you. So you can afford: a timbit. Great. Order your timbit and proceed to sit (quietly, without bothering anyone) at a table for an hour. Cool. When the bar crowd clears I've got a couple hours to get the place clean before people start packing in for their morning jolt, and still you sit. You asked me if it was ok to stay. You offered to help me clean. You apologized for bothering me, and explained your girlfreind kicked you out of the house and you weren't sure where to go. You seemed genuinely distressed. I bought you a coffee and a donut and you were sincerely grateful.
At 5 the girl in question came in, screamed at you for being such an asshole as to leave, screamed at me for giving you food and started throwing sugar jars around. I called the police, who came and dragged her way, still screaming, and all the while you apologized to me, to the police, to other customers, asked other customers if they were all right, and left your card and offered to pay for the broken sugars. I'll say it again – you can do better!
Cute Couple
I'm at McDonalds, working cash, during an extreme lull. A couple come in (M – man W - woman), I greet them, they tell me they need a minute, and start talking with each other about the menu. I'm not actively eavesdropping, but am sort of listening in while I piddle around behind the counter, and hear about 5 minutes of this
M – she's not going to do that
W – of course she will, they probably get asked this all the time
M – there is no way shes going to make that for you
W – why not, I'm going to ask
Then they speak up and tell me they are ready to order
Me *Completely dreading whatever hell that is about to happen*: Absolutely, what can I get for you?
M: I'd like a burger, fries and coke (or whatever he ordered)
Me: Certainly and for you? *to the woman*
W: I'd like a burger, fries coke, and can you make the coke
M *interrupting*: she's not going to do it
W *aside*: she will! *to me* 1/2 regular coke and 1/2 diet coke with 1/2 regular amount of ice
Me 'Thank the freaking deity!': Certainly anything else today?
M *incredulously*: That's it? Just sure and anything else? You are really going to make her that?
W: She probably gets that all the time, don't you. I bet lots of people order it like that!
Me: Nope, never, not even once, but .... sure, anything else?
After they left, I was laughing for a couple of hours about their reactions. If he only knew what kind of crap 'special requests' people made of me on an hourly basis he would have understand my complete and total indifference to that particular request.
No Clue
Still at McDonalds, and I'm about 16 years old. A large group of guys about my age has come in and ordered one at time until it's the last guys turn
Last Guy: I don't have any money but we can make a deal (he said it kind of half way between a statement and a question)
Me: I very much doubt it
LG: If you buy me a Big Mac I'll let you give me a blowjob
Me *looking over his shoulder to the people behind him* Can I help who's next please
(Let's face it, that 'deal' wasn't even worth a response)
All last guys friends are killing themselves laughing and as they go to be seated he's saying 'What? I thought that would work, I'm way better looking than her, I thought she'd be grateful'
Normally I'd call this guy the biggest asshole in the world but his sincerity and general cluelessness makes him a little bit of a sympathetic figure. So I'd just like to say this to him - It's a good thing you're pretty, because you obviously have nothing else to contribute to society.
At least this wasn't a literal sighting
Working the overnight shift at Tim Hortons, and my boss calls me about 3 hours after I get home to find out why there is a sign taped to the wall in the mens washroom :If you must masturbate in the bathroom please finish in the toilet or use some toilet paper. Thank You.
I simply explained that it turns out people don't know this, and while cleaning semen off the bathroom walls at work gets old, I draw the line at standing on the toilet to scrub it off the ceiling (seriously, how did you even accomplish that?) I thought it was time we had some instructions for our customers. She was not that sympethetic to my point of veiw.
You can do better
Overnight at Tim Hortons again, you come in at 2 in the morning, obviously upset, but calm and in control, with about 28 cents on you. So you can afford: a timbit. Great. Order your timbit and proceed to sit (quietly, without bothering anyone) at a table for an hour. Cool. When the bar crowd clears I've got a couple hours to get the place clean before people start packing in for their morning jolt, and still you sit. You asked me if it was ok to stay. You offered to help me clean. You apologized for bothering me, and explained your girlfreind kicked you out of the house and you weren't sure where to go. You seemed genuinely distressed. I bought you a coffee and a donut and you were sincerely grateful.
At 5 the girl in question came in, screamed at you for being such an asshole as to leave, screamed at me for giving you food and started throwing sugar jars around. I called the police, who came and dragged her way, still screaming, and all the while you apologized to me, to the police, to other customers, asked other customers if they were all right, and left your card and offered to pay for the broken sugars. I'll say it again – you can do better!
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