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  • Breaking health news

    Here is the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting medical studies.

    The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than do the British or Americans.

    The French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

    The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

    The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

    The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

    CONCLUSION

    Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

    ---------------------------------

    In other news, scientist have found evidence which invalidates virtually all studies which found "this causes cancer in mice".

    Two groups of mice, one labeled "control group" and one labeled "experimental group", were given identical treatment, including being handled daily by people in white lab coats. The experimental group showed a statistically significant increase in the development of cancer.

    The experiment was repeated, this time with the handlers wearing T-shirts and jeans. There was no difference in cancer rates between the two populations.

    Conclusion: exposure to white lab coats, combined with being labeled "experimental group" causes cancer in mice.
    Any fool can piss on the floor. It takes a talented SC to shit on the ceiling.
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