To the A-Holes in Deerfield Park Bldg 1:

[Pezzle]

Stop stealing Apartment 9's paper. There's a reason why I write in big black letters outlined in silver "PROPERTY OF BUILDING 1 APARTMENT 9 IF YOU ARE NOT THE AFOREMENTIONED SUBSCRIBER, DO NOT TAKE THIS PAPER!!" and apparently you either can't read or don't know what the term "aforementioned" means. I'm guessing both.

Apartment 9 has called and complained about my "horrible delivery service" twice, which, even though my manager knows I am delivering it to him as I have snapped cell phone video proof of this delivery, still gets me god damn logged complaint and therefore removes me from any chance of getting my damn 25 bonus dollar gas subsidy this week. I use a gallon and a half every time I do this bloody route it's so far away.

And you, people who request your paper on the porch for no other reason than you are lazy: Go f yourselves. Don't complain when my toss is off by a few centimeters to the right of your door instead of directly on your mat, and complain it wasn't actually on your porch. You're screwing my complaint record up too.

OH MY GAWD MAH PAPER IS SITTING AGAINST THE FIRST STEP OF MY STOOP INSTEAD OF MY DOORMAT, DAMN LAZY ASS PAPER GIRL, SHE SHOULD STOP IN THE MIDDLE OF TRAFFIC ON THIS ROAD SO SHE CAN GET OUT OF HER CAR AND ADJUST MY PAPER TO PERFECT PRESENTATION !111ELEVENTY

PS: This job is 10x better than retail ever was, so dont think I'm seeing red, just annoyed at 4.25 per gallon failure because some people are too lazy to walk an extra step (literally) for their bloody brick of a saturday paper.

Ok I feel better.

[bainsidhe]

My sister stopped subscribing to the paper because it kept getting stolen. It became too much of a hassle to keep calling and asking them to credit for the missing paper. Now she just buys it in the store. Interestingly enough, she also lives in apt 9 Does this apt have a mainbox or something you can secure it in? Perhaps hanging it from the doorknob? Even small changes can make for an additional deterrent.

I'm not sure what you mean by "on the porch" vs. "on the mat". If the paper landed off the porch (in the grass, bushes, mud, etc), then I understand customers' frustration with delivery. If it's really just a case of people being upset because it isn't two inches in front of their door, then they're idiots.

On my old route, we had a customer upset because the paper kept hitting their house when thrown and left telltale newsink marks. Thing is, the local paper is light and we weren't hitting the house. A different paper carrier for a differnt newspaper habitually launched the paper and was responsible for the markings/damage. We didn't stop hearing complaints until we bagged each of their papers. Can't be us leaving the marks if there's nothing to leave a mark with.

[Pezzle]

Alright, consider a customer's stoop. And then consider their doormat/welcome mat. There's usually a lot of room in front of their doormat and to the side of it, on a fairly sized concrete or wood porch. Just becuase the paper is not perfectly placed right in front of the doormat and is laying to the side of it (never in the grass or the mud!) doesn't mean it's not on the porch.

And no there's no mainbox or anything like that, I hit all the stoops on the apartment from my car. That's a scary place at 3 AM -shudder- but all the mail boxes are the communal locking type, and hanging it on the doorknob hasn't helped. I've done everything short of going inside and putting it on their indoor mat, and the doors are kept locked from the outside. Annoys the shit out of me but the particular complex scares me a bit.

So, I never leave a paper unbagged. NJ can have some seriously silly unpredictable rain, and the red bags we have make the paper easy to spot (which is why I do not understand "zomg I can't find the paper !11eleventy" when I put it there.