I'm off duty (of a different kind)

[solar]

A bit of background: I am a high school teacher (Monday to Friday) and a part time scientific researcher (most afternoons and Sunday). I give myself Saturday off. However,in the school and wider community, my dual professions are widely known

As such, the parents of my students are effectively my 'customers'[/bg]

Like most teachers, I do not carry my markbook, nor do I have it memorised.

On Saturdays, I go shopping (like many people), and I am just 'average Joe Citizen', but frequently what happens is (and my responses are in parentheses):

- Questions how a parent's son or daughter is going (I suggest they call the school to make an appointment for a proper meeting in school hours or ask by email). I sometimes get complaints about this, which are squashed by my awesome boss.

- Asking questions about how their son or daughter could improve (response as per above).

- Or worse, telling me their pet gripe about the education system which I can do nothing about.

- As a scientist, my biggest pet peeve is people coming up to me with their pet theory, or worse - conspiracy theory, mostly wanting to debate - I do not debate science from mere opinion, facts, observations, results are all that matter and tll them so - they get so butt-hurt... one even complained to the university I am affiliated with, they literally laughed then hung up on them.

Saturday is my day, day when I let my mind rest and to bathe in comforting apathy.

[Pixi_kitty]

I have the exact same problem. One time, I moved into the community my school pulls from, and ended up across the street from one on my students (completely accidental). Not only did I have all the community greetings, I had families knocking on my door for homework help or asking why their child was in trouble. For that entire year, I never had a day off.

[Jester]

Just last night, a girl tried multiple times to convince me to do magic tricks for her and her boyfriend, on the theory that I love doing magic and I was off work.

I do love doing magic. I was off work. But I had worked long and hard yesterday, and at the bar I encountered this young lady and her boyfriend, I was still doing computer work for a project for work. I was run down, I was tired, and I just wanted to sit there, relax, and drink beer. A point it took me several times to hammer into her brain.

[NecessaryCatharsis]

How do people think this is ever ok? My friends, people I love and would do anything for, give me supper and a 40 just for writing out a shopping list and giving tips for their home improvement project, never mind doing anything. Why would people who barely qualify as acquaintances think you would be happy to perform work tasks for free on your time off?

Your customers/clients confuse and worry me.

[Sapphire Silk]

I've had similar problems teaching in the community college system (nursing).

I get parents/spouses/significant others calling to ask about grades. I always refer them to the student. One spouse got very upset that his wife failed my course. He called me and said, "What would Jesus do?"

Me: Give her the grade she earned: D. <click>

[Argabarga]

My Dad is semi-retired and recently took a position teaching at a branch campus of a State University, I didn't think about it much at the time, but, I was not surprised to learn they had a day-long seminar devoted to exactly what to do when students, or even worse, their spouses/parents/roommates accost you and take issue with your grading/curriculum.

Long story short, if it's the student, send them to student affairs who'll look into it, and if it's not the student, send them to student affairs, who'll tell them in no uncertain terms that as 18 year old adults, the student in question needs to fight their own fights if they want to.


For my part, my family seems utterly confused that I have no desire to drive anywhere on my days off and don't get excited about the prospect of travel.....

[skeptic53]

I recently moved to the community where I practice medicine. I bump into patients ALL the time. Alas, the old joke about telling them to "Please undress" is rarely relevant to the question they are asking. I usually say I don't have access to their chart and we are expected to document all advice, it'd best if they call the clinic to either talk to the doctor who is on call or make an appointment. Usually works but sometimes I have to break it off with "I'm sorry, I'm really not prepared to help you in the grocery store/hardware store/restaurant etc"

[AnaKhouri]

My husband is a biochemist, and he occasionally gets the people who want to argue science with him (when they have no actual knowledge of science, cardiac research or even how science works in general). He has developed a quick, diplomatic way to shut them down quickly, simply by actually taking about his own research in terms he would use with other scientists. Since most people have no idea how to interpret scientific terms, they deflate pretty fast.

Thank God he has no patients or students to contend with...but sometimes people see the 'Dr' in front of his name and assume he is a medical doctor. Their advice-seeking is also quickly shut down when he points out that his only 'patients' are mice, not people.

[RealUnimportant]

He has developed a quick, diplomatic way to shut them down quickly, simply by actually taking about his own research in terms he would use with other scientists.

I love the idea of being "bathed in apathy", comforting or otherwise. Maybe that's how some SCs got the way they are?

[Deserted]

For my part, my family seems utterly confused that I have no desire to drive anywhere on my days off and don't get excited about the prospect of travel.....

THIS. "Hey, Deserted, I'm heading out to [some place 50 miles away], wanna come?" No, thanks, I just want to stay at home and do NOTHING today. And I was just there last week anyway, picking someone up.

[crazylegs]

I recently had someone complain to me about some random crime while I was getting my hair cut.

I told them I wasn't interested to which they started to rant about how I should be interested regardless of whether I was on duty or not. They were shot down when I told them I haven't been in the police for over 3 years now...

[MoonCat]

Luckily this isn't something I run into a lot, though years ago one of my uncles could never understand why I couldn't help him talk to a particular reporter. I had to explain (several times) that it was a different dept. from mine, I didn't know the man at all (not even by sight), and he had no obligation to do anything I asked him to. Working for the same company doesn't mean I have access to every other employee at all times. I suggested uncle call the editorial dept. and ask for the guy he wanted to talk to, and by the way dropping my name would mean NOTHING.

[Racket_Man]

Thank goodness I do NOT encounter many of my delivery customers while not on duty. Technically I "could" tell them to FUCK OFF if they complain and bitch about my store/company as I am not being paid but then they you call either the store/franchise office/corp and make some vague complaint and somehow I would get into trouble (sorry my time IS my time I am not "on-call" 24/7/365 for anyone's "pleasure").

[mathnerd]

In the interest of full disclosure, I have actually had parent/teacher conferences in the walmart parking lot at 2am. Why? Because that was the only time the mother could meet with me and we had tried multiple times to arrange a more normal meeting. I worked in an inner city school and poverty was rampant. If a parent was interested enough to use up her lunch hour, then I could do that.

Other than that type of exception though, I was always irritated if I was approached by either my college students or the parents of my middle school students when I was out in public. It was more of an issue with the college students, since I lived near that campus and I lived rather far away from my middle school.

I'm also amused at medical discussions. I'm not a doctor or nurse, but I do have two boys with a serious bone disease and all three of my babies were preemies after very high risk pregnancies. I've been in and out of hospitals a LOT. I'll either go to the "smile and nod" mode or start talking in medical terminology. I've also been known to run of creeps in bars by talking advanced mathematics. It's kind of amusing.

[solar]

In the interest of full disclosure, I have actually had parent/teacher conferences in the walmart parking lot at 2am. Why? Because that was the only time the mother could meet with me and we had tried multiple times to arrange a more normal meeting.

Yes! This is something I have done as well - and that is another reason this kind of behaviour annoys me so much, am willing to go all out to help my students and parents, and I can't get a day off???

Bathing in apathy is nice - I always end up in a hardware store...