I've no idea how to deal with this...

[CyberLurch]

Okay, so since late July I’ve been working for a thrift store. I probably should not mention it by name; I’m sure everybody already knows why.

And I’ve a serial SC literally stalking me.

Allow me to explain. Shortly after I arrived in the Max Klinger’s home town in 2015, just after Lovely Lady and I had settled into the house we rented and set up our happy little home, we had an ‘incident’ with a neighbor down the street a ways. If anyone expresses interest in the details of that, I’ll make it a separate post in the appropriate forum, but the bottom line was she ended up being arrested on charges of trespass, public intoxication, criminal damaging, disorderly conduct, assault, and DUI. And a healthy dose of resisting arrest to cap it all off. Yes, it was quite a show that night.

Since then, Lovely Lady and I have been the target for all manner of harassment. Pranks, property damage, anonymous threats, malicious rumors, snide remarks, ‘silent’ phone calls at all hours, and outright theft. You get the picture.

And now she’s discovered where I work. It’s my fault. I got lazy and wore my uniform shirt as I was leaving for work one day.

Anyway, I’ve actually seen her in the store, smirking at me as I discover some little ‘surprise’ she’s left for me. And this doesn’t even cover the sudden batch of bullshit complaints that have mysteriously and suddenly cropped up regarding things I’ve allegedly done.

Et cetera et cetera....

I can’t actually prove anything, so there’s no getting a restraining order. And, my bosses are reluctant to actually ban her from the store. I’ve tried to explain this to them; it falls on deaf ears. I can’t say I blame them, it must sound like a paranoid delusion.

I think it’s going to be a case of quit before I get fired.

And they wonder why my attitude sucks.

[RootedPhoenix]

...maybe show them the records from the last set of events with her..?

I don't know if that's the best a way, but...it seems as if you'd have proof of her behaving this way before..

[Pixelated]

Wow ... does your store not have security cameras?? They could track the source of those little "surprises"...

Also, you said your neighbour was arrested and charged (and presumably convicted). Is there a paper trail of that? Was there anything in the local paper about it? Would the police explain the situation to your boss(es) if they called?

This is awful. There's got to be some way to shut her down.

Also, you might want to invest in security cameras around your house. I don't know how expensive they are, but you've got to consider the cost of ongoing stress to you and your SO ...

[CyberLurch]

If I put myself in my bosses' place, and look at the problem through their eyes, this is what I come to realize: Regardless of the source of the problem, the most effective way to deal with the problem is to get rid of the one thing around which the problem revolves - which would be ME, and no investigation or paperwork required. The solution doesn't have to be particularly 'fair' so long as it gets the desired results.

I think I am well and truly screwed here.

[Slave to the Phone]

Sadly, I tend to agree with you. You are well and truly screwed.

Start looking for another job yesterday! Save every penny you can because you really are on borrowed time unless you are so valuable that your boss would defend your continued employment.

I hope things change, but seriously, start looking post-haste.

[Kittish]

Phone company records can prove the harassing calls are originating with her. Your previous history with her should provide sufficient .. not sure probable cause is right here, but can't think of a better descriptor.. to enable police to subpoena those records. Your own phone company's records of incoming calls may be sufficient. Those you can get directly. Security cameras around your home would probably be an excellent idea. Further proof of her harassment. Thing is... you really would have to take all of this to the police and insist that they take action to get anywhere. Pretty much your only other option (that I can see) is to endure silently and hope she doesn't manage to follow you to your next job.

[Seanette]

May well be time to haul the bitch into court, if she costs you your job. Maybe a nice lawsuit over lost income, etc., might motivate her family to make her get help.

[EricKei]

Had to edit a post in here. Please keep the discussion on the friendly side of Fratching, folks.

[csquared]

A talk with the DA from the first incident might be beneficial. They might have some suggestions for you.

[wordgirl]

That truly sucks. I would definitely contact the victim advocate from the local police department and/or prosecutor that handled your case. They can often make a phone call that makes a difference in how much damage can be controlled.

Also, if your psychostalker is still on probation, a call to their probation officer might be useful.

Finally, it's important to remember that when you are getting a restraining order, your own testimony constitutes evidence. The more detailed, the better, obviously - dates, times, maybe photographs.

it's worth saying twice - this one really sucks!

[Mental_Mouse]

Concurring with wordgirl -- take full notes on all incidents, in and out of work, especially the stalker's appearances. Take these to the police and file a report. You do not need "sufficient evidence to convict" to file a police report! The report will alert the police to "something going on", and provide a prior history for any later incidents. Testimony from co-workers would also be a bonus; If you haven't already, you should tell any co-workers you can talk to about the situation, and ask them to keep an eye out for any future incidents.

[Shyla]

I'm very sorry this is happening to you. I'm afraid you probably do need a new job. It's not fair or right but it is reality. Some people are evil.

[Blue Ginger]

Besides documenting, getting cameras, going to the cops, every thing else suggested here, I recommend that you talk to your bosses and co workers and ask that they share no information about you to any customers. Explain that you have had issues with someone in your neighbourhood and that person is now showing up at the store.

You don't need to give details to your co-workers about exactly what happened, but they need to know not to let anyone know your schedule or give out any info about you. And make sure that your co-workers are on a low or no info diet about your life.

(I had a complete numpty of a co-worker give a nasty customer my last name. That person proceeded to harass my extended family trying to get to me. My number was silent, but no one else's was.)

Another option is to have a changing shift schedule. That will help make your movements unpredictable and hopefully limit the times crazy person can find you at work.

And last, it's a giant pain, but start looking for a new job as soon as possible.

[EricKei]

Regardless of the source of the problem, the most effective way to deal with the problem is to get rid of the one thing around which the problem revolves - which would be ME

...This would only solve the problem for them -- not you. Of course, I doubt they care that much about it. Even that assumes she'll ignore their store once you leave. Your stalker could very well not believe them, or fixate on a new target.

I agree with what others have said -- This is the stalker's fault, NOT yours -- but polish up that resume and GTFO that job as soon as you can, keeping CW's both at this job and the next on an "info diet."

You may also want to speak with the Labor Board. Even if they can't help with a restraining order, you may have a case for the bosses contributing to a hostile workplace environment simply due to their conscious and intentional failure to ban this woman. Surely the store security cameras can show that she's in there an awful lot, and how she behaves while she's there. Also, ask them what sort of Brief you would need to file with the Court (if applicable)/report to file with the cops about her, just so you can have something on record stating that you are concerned for your own well-being, and that you're not ignoring the problem, nor taking matters into your own hands.

[CyberLurch]

No, unfortunately, no security cameras at the store. They're too damned cheap to fix the lock on the front door that's been busted for (I'm told) a year. And no joke here - we're supposed to reuse GARBAGE BAGS. If it was just paper trash, fine. But the trash bags in the rest rooms, the break room, etc....? Ugh.

And management in this hole seems to be based on 'short circuit' theory - i.e., the path of least resistance. "Follow policy to the letter at all costs - until it inconveniences ME...."

I've spoken to the police and filed reports whenever there's been property damage or similar incidents. However, it seems that there's little to actually connect those incidents with this woman, and let's face it... this is fracking TOLEDO. Trust me when I say the police have more urgent matters to deal with than some sadistic neighbor and her bag of dirty tricks.

As for her appearances in the store - unless and until they actually catch her in the act, she's just another customer as far as my bosses are concerned.

I want to thank everyone who offered words of encouragement and provided advice. But yesterday I got written up, AGAIN, due to an anonymous 'complaint' and that puts me on the rapid path to the unemployment office. I'm pretty sure it's past the point of no return as far as this job is concerned.

Maybe it's for the best. Management's apathy borders on criminal.