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  • Ranty and some LANGUAGE

    I think I mentioned some time ago my sister's refusal to have anything removed from the house while Mom was still alive. One of the reasons for this was because she wanted us all to gather and select mementos, as (she said) we did after Dad's death. I don't remember doing that, but in all fairness that could be my memory ...

    Well, Mom died in early August. Because brother and sister had been rushing back and forth during her decline over the past several months, and because she was being cremated, it was decided to hold the memorial/funeral service this month. So brother and sister return for the service. Sis was going home today (Saturday) and brother & family tomorrow.

    At one point I said, "When are we going to pick out mementos?" Brother said early today (Saturday). So I get up, put Mom's clothing out (thinking maybe somebody might want wolf-themed sweatshirts and the like), and her jewelry boxes, and her wolf Christmas ornaments.

    They had said they'd be here by 10 a.m. By 10:30 I decided I was going to run out and do a few brief errands (like get some toilet paper ...) and notified brother via iPad message of this.

    When I got back (and I didn't rush), there's brother outside talking to a couple of real estate assessors/salespeople, and SIL and nephew standing in the cluttered living room (noplace to sit down).

    Me: "Sorry, had to run out and do some stuff. Where's sis?"

    SIL: "Oh, she had to leave for the airport earlier than she expected."

    Me:

    So. I could've disposed of 90% of this stuff over the five years I've been here. But Sis kept putting a spoke in the wheel, saying she "wasn't comfortable" getting rid of anything while Mom was alive. Oh, and there was also the bit about the Walton-esque gathering of the children to pick out mementos.

    And then the fucking bitch CAN'T MAKE ANY TIME TO PICK OUT ANY FUCKING MEMENTOS.

    AND this has now left the bulk of the removal on me ... brother & family live on the prairies and cannot be here to help, and she has zoomed off back to her West-coast home and she will certainly not be any help.

    I am so seriously fucking pissed off at her. I said nothing to SIL ... or brother ... because what's there to say, really? None of this can be undone. I can't turn the clock back and empty out the house and when she shows up, laugh and say "Fuck you. Sue me." (Believe me, if I could, I most definitely would.)

    The only bit of light in this is that SIL informed me that I need to focus on removing the stuff I want to keep before anything else. The people handling the estate will come in and sell/donate/recycle the remaining stuff. So it is not, thankfully, entirely on my shoulders.

    But I am still profoundly pissed off at her. Thanks for making my remaining time in this house so fucking unpleasant, bitch.
    Last edited by Pixelated; 10-14-2017, 11:28 PM.
    Customer service: More efficient than a Dementor's kiss
    ~ Mr Hero

  • #2
    Here's your song: Chery Wheeler - Estate Sale. I'm seeing Cheryl (again) on Nov 3rd in Moab. First time was over twenty years ago. Frizzy hair, pot belly, attitude => That's my girl! Since then I've said (repeatedly) "Cheryl writes both the most achingly beautiful and the most hilarious songs there are!"

    Her "Since You've Been Gone" and "Blessed" so wonderful.... and her stories!
    Last edited by dalesys; 10-15-2017, 04:25 PM.
    I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
    Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
    Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

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    • #3
      OMG ... I know garage sales aren't the same thing as estate sales ... but that reminded me SO much of my mother and her best friend and their "garage-saling" days!

      Thanks, that definitely did lighten things up a bit!
      Customer service: More efficient than a Dementor's kiss
      ~ Mr Hero

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      • #4
        Quoth dalesys View Post
        Here's your song: Chery Wheeler - Estate Sale. I'm seeing Cheryl (again) on Nov 3rd in Moab. First time was over twenty years ago. Frizzy hair, pot belly, attitude => That's my girl! Since then I've said (repeatedly) "Cheryl writes both the most achingly beautiful and the most hilarious songs there are!"

        Her "Since You've Been Gone" and "Blessed" so wonderful.... and her stories!
        Holy cheesebiscuits, what a beautiful voice!

        Man, I took so many estate sale and garage sale ads over the years...this one struck a nerve.
        When you start at zero, everything's progress.

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        • #5
          Holy hell . . . Is this woman a huge international star and I just missed her? And if not, WHY not?

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          • #6
            Quoth morgana View Post
            Holy hell . . . Is this woman a huge international star and I just missed her? And if not, WHY not?
            The people you listen to haven't:
            Aces – Suzy Bogguss :: Aces (#9 country)
            Nobody Love, Nobody Gets Hurt – Suzy Bogguss :: Moonlight and Roses
            The Life of Chris Gaines - Garth Brooks :: Right Now [merger of "If It Were Up to Me" and "Get Together"]
            Love Travels – Kathy Mattea :: Further and Further Away
            Freedom Knows My Name – Melanie :: Estate Sale
            Freedom Knows My Name – Melanie :: Arrow
            Bette of Roses – Bette Midler :: I Know This Town
            Show Up - Holly Near :: Gandhi/Buddha
            Ain't Gonna Cry – Juice Newton :: I'm Only Walkin' [I Know This Town]
            Helpless Heart – Maura O'Connell :: Summer Fly
            Lifelines / Lifelines Live – Peter, Paul, and Mary :: 75 Septembers
            Rage On - Dan Seals :: Addicted (#1 country) (youtube with Cheryl)

            extracted from Cheryl's website.

            Aargh! The temptation to listen all the way through each version of every song...
            Last edited by dalesys; 10-16-2017, 12:31 PM. Reason: Adding youtube links!
            I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
            Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
            Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

            Comment


            • #7
              Sorry for your losses - death in the family isn't ever easy.

              SImilar issue here - my brother died April 2016, leaving me living in the family house because mom was in managed care, she died this past January .. the way the food chain is in NY when someone dies intestate [without a will] is spouse, children, parent, sibling - so mom was my brothers heir. So here I am sitting in a house full of 45 years of *stuff* plus everything of both parents dating back variously to when they were born in 1923. ANd family heirlooms ...*sigh*

              SO on top of dealing with my brother's estate, I have Mom's estate, and the residue of Dad's estate [the way the will was written, mom had lifetime residence in the house, then when she finally passed we would pick out personal stuff and everthing else goes up for auction]

              I plan on picking and choosing what I want to keep, moving it to a storage locker then calling an auction house that deals in art glass and antiques [mom was a dealer] and telling them to sell anything not nailed down. I really don't want to deal with anything. All I am really doing is sorting through papers and photos, family documents and whatever and deciding what I personally want to keep. I did reconnect with a couple cousins, so they want scanned in photos and documents, and are letting me pick out a random heirloom each. To be fair, I am duplicating all the hard drives and sending them to the 4 cousins I haven't reconnected with [the children of my uncle Bill.] I will also probably pick out some small relatively innocuous heirlooms for them as well.

              Heh, maybe I should saddle Peter with the 'Dutch Masters with the Sticks up their Arses' [family portrait of 4 guys that vaguely resembles that painting used on the cigar box. Set of our Dutch ancestors who helped settle Nieuw Amsterdam.]
              EVE Online: 99% of the time you sit around waiting for something to happen, but that 1% of action is what hooks people like crack, you don't get interviewed by the BBC for a WoW raid.

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              • #8
                Quoth AccountingDrone View Post
                ... Set of our Dutch ancestors who helped settle Nieuw Amsterdam.]
                You might be my cousin... I'm a 11th great-grandson of Wolphert Gerretse Van Kouwenhoven by whom I'm related to to Teddy & FDR...
                I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
                Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
                Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

                Comment


                • #9
                  After reading this, I'm so glad for what my maternal grandmother did when she was alive. That is, she let us all know that she'd be moving into an apartment, and couldn't take many things with her. Everything else, she wanted to go to friends and family. A lot of her furniture and other things were very old. We're talking at least 100-plus years old in some cases. Most of the furniture went to family. I took a fair bit myself, since I'd just bought a house, and needed things. What was left...unfortunately got left behind, and was sold with the house

                  My dad's mom, on the other hand, didn't bother letting anyone have anything. Her house was still mostly furnished when she died in 2014. I remember hearing my aunt (dad's half-sister) drone on about how the "antiques were so expensive, and they'd bring a lot of money" at the estate sale. Problem was, that there were very items that were worth anything. There were a few things--like the china cabinet and drop-leaf table in the living room--that might have been worth something, but the rest simply wasn't. It was shit, and I'm being nice.

                  My aunt actually flipped out on the people handling the estate sale, since she felt that they were "lowballing" her. Sorry, but nobody is going to drop $500 on that ugly 1970s sofa downstairs
                  Aerodynamics are for people who can't build engines. --Enzo Ferrari

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                  • #10
                    Yeah I wish Mom had done that while she was still alive and compos mentis.

                    Sis didn't even seem to want anything directly related to her and my niece ... like the woven coverlet with niece's photo on it. I'm hoping it doesn't get bought by somebody with a "thing" for young girls, but .... There's also photos, and mugs with photos on them. I can't imagine any thrift shop customers wanting them, but I can't bring myself to just smash them.

                    I personally now plan to buy this book to avoid just such a scenario with my own "stuff" down the road.
                    Customer service: More efficient than a Dementor's kiss
                    ~ Mr Hero

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Quoth Pixelated View Post
                      Yeah I wish Mom had done that while she was still alive and compos mentis.

                      Sis didn't even seem to want anything directly related to her and my niece ... like the woven coverlet with niece's photo on it. I'm hoping it doesn't get bought by somebody with a "thing" for young girls, but .... There's also photos, and mugs with photos on them. I can't imagine any thrift shop customers wanting them, but I can't bring myself to just smash them.

                      I personally now plan to buy this book to avoid just such a scenario with my own "stuff" down the road.
                      Re: Stuff like mugs and dishes, you'd be surprised what people will buy! Drop off the dishware at a local thrift shop. Someone will take it. You should see some of the stuff at the ones I frequent - and it doesn't stay there long.
                      When you start at zero, everything's progress.

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