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  • #16
    Quoth Ree View Post
    As I already stated, of course there were questions asked that crossed the line of good taste, but I still maintain that a person who fills their face with metal or tattoos their body is welcoming attention, so it seems a little contradictory, in my opinion, to be so indignant when that happens.
    I disagree. People should mind their own business. Lots of things people do can draw attention, does not mean it is good form to go up to a perfect stranger and bug (Badger was the wrong word to use here) them about something that has nothing to do with you. Just because what you choose to do just happens to stand out, does not suddenly mean other people have a right to stick their noses in it.

    Do I get curious myself of why people do what they do sometimes? Absolutely. Do I bug them about it if I don't know them or how they personally feel? Hell no. I was raised to mind my own beeswax.
    Last edited by Velfarre2001; 10-07-2007, 02:29 AM.
    "It's times like these that make me wanna go straight."
    James from Pokémon.

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    • #17
      Quoth Velfarre2001 View Post
      I disagree. People should mind their own business. Lots of things people do can draw attention, does not mean it is good form to go up to a perfect stranger and badger them about something that has nothing to do with you.
      And that's basically what Ree's saying (I think. She reserves the right to contradict me). Asking nice, non-invasive questions (the kissing one's a good example of the invasive type) should actually be considered a good thing, as it means that the people are usually trying not to do the whole "What a freak, they're probably a drugged-out loser" stereotyping that I used to hear. But badgering is bad. We all agree. But asking one question, in a polite manner, is hardly badgering.

      Also, I know some people proud to talk about their "bodmods" and encourage questions, as it can get some people thinking, and helps move it to mainstream rather than the whole aformentioned "freak" thing. So if these people might have run across someone who's open about their stuff, and now has run across the OP, who has something different, they might have new questions about this different mod. How are they to blame for having previously been encouraged to ask questions?

      (Remember, all this is based on polite questioning, respecting personal boundaries)
      Ba'al: I'm a god. Gods are all-knowing.

      http://unrelatedcaptions.com/45147

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      • #18
        Quoth Broomjockey View Post
        questions, as it can get some people thinking, and helps move it to mainstream rather than the whole aformentioned "freak" thing. So if these people might have run across someone who's open about their stuff, and now has run across the OP, who has something different, they might have new questions about this different mod. How are they to blame for having previously been encouraged to ask questions?

        (Remember, all this is based on polite questioning, respecting personal boundaries)
        Because there will be people who hate answering questions as much as those who like it. I would not bug someone if I didn't know which type they were. The Topic Creator certainly would not appreciate it. Never good to assume just because one person in that situation is agreeable to something everyone is.

        Quoth Broomjockey View Post
        And that's basically what Ree's saying (I think. She reserves the right to contradict me). Asking nice, non-invasive questions (the kissing one's a good example of the invasive type) should actually be considered a good thing, as it means that the people are usually trying not to do the whole "What a freak, they're probably a drugged-out loser" stereotyping that I used to hear. But badgering is bad. We all agree. But asking one question, in a polite manner, is hardly badgering.

        I suppose badger is the wrong word..... bug is more in line with what I meant.
        Last edited by Velfarre2001; 10-07-2007, 03:26 AM.
        "It's times like these that make me wanna go straight."
        James from Pokémon.

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        • #19
          I know a lot of people are just curious, and I expected them to comment or ask questions whenever they saw my tragus, industrial, and tongue ring; especially the older crowd. What I think rerant is trying to say is that answering the same question over and over again gets really annoying and she was just expressing her frustration.

          Like asking me if the piercings hurt. I got so annoyed that I would say, extremely politely: "No, it actually tickled."

          And a lot of people added their two cents just to be smartasses. Like: "Why the hell would you stick a bar through your ear?" or "What the hell happened to you?" There's no need for that kind of rudeness. It wasn't enough of an annoyance to make me want to take the piercings out or cause a serious problem, though. I took them out because I just grew out of my piercing stage and wanted to look more "grown-up," I suppose. Although sometimes I miss them...
          "If you are planning not to tip, please let your server know before ordering so they can decide whether or not to wait on you" - from an advice column I read some time ago

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          • #20
            Another reason

            Another reason people may be asking is because you did it right in their eyes.

            You may admit it, or not. But many bod-mods are ugly, poorly placed or the wrong design for the face they were put on. Often because they are started by teenagers trying to shock adults or stand out from the crowd. Neither reasons being good ones that implies careful thought on what is installed.

            Talked to a woman in the Peace-Keepers. She had an interesting ceramic piece in her tongue, but I did not have time to ask about it as we both had to hurry, and she was telling me about Dominica where I will be going in two months.

            Once met a girl with about a dozen rings in each ear, everyone else I had met before it just looked silly and many had them poorly placed (uneven, bad gapping), on her they looked natural - like they always should be there.

            Nose-stubs are a big peeve with me. Bigger is not better. And the colour contrast against the skin matters. There is no hard and fast rules but small diamonds do tend to look good against darker skins, and gold is not the only material that can be used if you are light-skinned.

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            • #21
              Piercings don't bother me, and I usually don't even get surprised by them, but there was a kid at the grocery store with one of those snakebite things dressed in a suit and tie. THAT made me double-take more than the piercing would normally.
              "You know, there are times when it's a source of personal pride not to be human." - Hobbes

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              • #22
                I think it's also the way the question is asked. It's very hard to tell what type of tone is being used without the OP actually pointing it out.
                If I see a really unusual piercing, I might ask the person about it, but more along the lines of "how was that done? How long did it take to heal?"
                Having a couple of piercings in your face is so common these days that questions really do seem a little silly. Unless you have piercings like these (warning - EXTREME facial piercings - not for the squeamish):

                http://www.cob.tamucc.edu/waheed/Tea...nd%20tatoo.jpg

                Then you should expect a dozen or so questions...
                The report button - not just for decoration

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                • #23
                  I used to get extremely defensive when people used to ask me "Why do you wear so much eye makeup?" "Don't you get that less is more?" "Why can't you be natural?"

                  Now I just don't answer questions about my makeup anymore. I realize that by making smokey eyes, people are going to stare. And some people will wonder why. No, I am not insecure and I do not HAVE to wear it. Hell, when I go to work I don't wear it. But people are going to assume these things and people are going to ask questions.
                  You really need to see a neurologist. - Wagegoth

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                  • #24
                    I can fully empathise with people asking inappropriate questions, I'm 6'8 tall, and get constantly asked how tall I am. Depending on my mood, I'll either tell them or not, sometimes however some people will badger me as to how tall I am, in my last job I had one person ask me for five minutes solid about my height because I'd refused to tell him, the only reason he stopped was because I simply walked away and ignored him.

                    Stay Safe
                    A PSA, if I may, as well as another.

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                    • #25
                      Quoth crazylegs View Post
                      I can fully empathise with people asking inappropriate questions, I'm 6'8 tall, and get constantly asked how tall I am. Depending on my mood, I'll either tell them or not, sometimes however some people will badger me as to how tall I am,
                      Just tell them you're five-foot-two.

                      I would only ask a personal question about a piercing or something if I was considering doing something similar myself, then I would just say "Hey, I'm thinking of doing X, do you mind if I ask you a question about it?" Otherwise, beyond maybe "hey, that looks cool" I wouldn't comment. I know/have seen enough people with piercings that most things don't phase me.
                      I don't go in for ancient wisdom
                      I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
                      It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"

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                      • #26
                        Quoth Velfarre2001 View Post
                        I disagree. People should mind their own business.
                        I agree 100%.
                        And even if people feel the need to ask me about my piercings I'll usually answer them, but at work?
                        The LAST place anyone wants to be pestered about things is at their place of employment where they're most likely already tired, stressed out, or a combination of the two.
                        And that was really my point of the post: asking people certain questions while they're at work is just beyond annoying and beyond frustrating.

                        And to whoever it was who mentioned the tone customers use when asking me these questions, I can sum 90% of it up with one word: condescending.
                        Another reason why this bothers me, and admittedly something I probably should have tossed in the post, but yeah...

                        Oh, and yes, I'll need surgery to bring my ears back to their original state (since they're too widely spaced to go back on their own), should I ever choose to do so.
                        It's a life-long alteration I've committed to, much like that of the tattoos.
                        Last edited by Ree; 10-08-2007, 06:35 PM. Reason: Excessive quoting

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                        • #27
                          Quoth crazylegs View Post
                          I can fully empathise with people asking inappropriate questions, I'm 6'8 tall, and get constantly asked how tall I am.
                          I'm just the sort of person that would figure out my height in some obscure, obsolete, or just plain unusual measuring system and then answer that for everyone that asked. Then they not only can't say you ignored them or were rude, and they still have no idea how tall you are, even though you've actually told them.

                          Quoth alogram View Post
                          Don't you have to have plastic surgery if you ever get sick of them?
                          Quoth rerant View Post
                          Oh, and yes, I'll need surgery to bring my ears back to their original state (since they're too widely spaced to go back on their own), should I ever choose to do so.
                          There's a girl at my work that has friends who have the big ear spacing. According to her, the holes will eventually close up, although in some cases it will take a very, very long time. She has friends who've decided not to have them any longer. They're all of 22 years old.

                          I, personally, have never understood the whole ear spacing thing. I don't get it. Actually, at least 75% of the people I've run into that have them only have them because it's the current trend. One of the ones that I know didn't do it for the trendiness also has one full sleeve and most of his back inked (very nice work, by the way), and is saving up for the other sleeve and is currently working on his photography degree.

                          Oh, and a quick shout out to those of you who have belly rings. You might want to consider taking your belly piercings out before riding in a car. If you should be in an accident that causes a sudden stop, that bit of metal through your belly button can potentially kill you. (link to report on BBC.co.uk)

                          ^-.-^
                          Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

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                          • #28
                            As many above me have said, particularly Ree, I think so long as the questioning is polite, non-invasive, and stops if it becomes obvious the questionee does not want to be bothered, it's fine. It is, as with many things in life, about having manners and tact. Phrasing things with obvious curiosity/naivete and complimenting will get you much further than being condescending or rude.

                            I have three tattoos and eight piercings, including my tragus, and I'm planning to get a few more of each. I've also had many, many hair colors in my lifetime, including bright purple and neon pink. I've never minded questions about any of the above, so long as they're polite and not judgemental or insulting. I've also always had the presence of mind to let someone know if I find their line of questioning offensive, even if I simply state that it isn't their business. The fact that I'm polite and open usually embarrasses the people who are being obnoxious or stupid about it.

                            It is everyone's right to dress and accesorize themself as they please, but it is nothing more than realism to know that if you dress outside the norm, you may get extra attention. Whether this is fair, polite, or whatever else, it's the truth. I'm aware that my mods, hair colors, crazy make up and styling choices will get me odd looks, and often will get me questions, and I've just tried to find ways to answer succinctly, politely, and get the heck out.
                            "In the end I was the mean girl/or somebody's in between girl"~Neko Case

                            “You don't need many words if you already know what you're talking about.” ~William Stafford

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                            • #29
                              Quoth April View Post
                              If it is appropriate to ask nosy questions about someone's piercings or body modifications, is it also appropriate to say "Wow, Why would you get THAT hair cut?" Or "how does your boyfriend like you going around in THAT shirt?" or "Hey, when you got that boob job, did it hurt? what do they feel like?" (Hey, boob jobs are optional and therefore, according to some of the above, free to be commented upon)

                              People put themselves out there in alot of ways, piercings, haircuts, or colors, tatoos, clothing, but usually it's considered rude to comment on people's dress or hair cuts or breast enhancements
                              April, i say this with NO DISRESPECT at all however i think that the boob job example is a poor one to use this time around
                              the reason is i know a gal that was at my old college that had huntington disease and had to get female injections and had a boob job to help with her development
                              some women with breast cancer also get boob jobs after all their treatments as a way to repair some of the damage and their sense of worth and dignity
                              mods such a earing and other piercings and tattoos provide none of those and have no medical benefits what so ever

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                              • #30
                                Quoth habitofbeingright View Post
                                mods such a earing and other piercings and tattoos provide none of those and have no medical benefits what so ever
                                Also, a haircut or manner of dress don't have the same permanence that a tattoo or piercing does, nor the same impact on your life. People might want to know why/where you got a hairstyle or dress, but the legitimate questions from the mods are much broader. The snake-bite thing for instance, someone might want to know if it takes a while to get used to drinking from a cup with those things in, and if you have to worry about banging them on glasses. The multiple earrings bit, someone might want to know if/how you sleep with them in, especially if some are larger. Sorry rerant, April and Vel, but I'm always going to be of the opinion in any situation, it's better to ask the question and become informed, rather than remaining ignorant. But there's still a right and wrong way to ask, and the askee doesn't have to answer.
                                Ba'al: I'm a god. Gods are all-knowing.

                                http://unrelatedcaptions.com/45147

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