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  • CPR training story

    So I had to go and refresh my CPR training (grr....) today and thankfully my trainer was the type who could carry on a conversation and throw in plenty of snark, take thats and whatnot in the process. Turns out this one is a paramedic (or will be in a few weeks when he moves back home, he was a paramedic back home, then moved to Sydney and is now going to move back). During the time, he shared a bunch of stories with us. One such story had quite an amusing twist in the tale.

    See, there was this somewhat little old lady (LOL) who apparently had a crush on Trainer (he's quite cute) and the lady would frequently call Triple-0 (usually complaining of chest pains) in an effort to get him to come over. Dispatch would send random paramedics out and wouldn't tell her if he was coming over or not. If he came over, she'd start pulling out the other major health issues to get him to touch her, otherwise she'd be fine when she came over.

    This goes on for about a year or so, then one day dispatch gets a call from someone else stating that their friend is unconscious and could they please send someone? They start getting details and it turns out to be LOL. So Trainer and his partner head over and sure enough, she's unconscious on the floor. They go through all the basic life support steps (Danger, Response etc.) and then when they go to check for breathing...LOL proceeds to lick trainer's face.

    Needless to say, this elicited a great deal of laughter from the class
    The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

    Now queen of USSR-Land...

  • #2
    I was a training aid for Rob's EMT1 class at Portsmouth [VA] Naval Hospital. All went quite well until it was water rescue time. Everybody jumped into the pool, and I was assigned victim to a couple guys. So here I am floating face down, they need to turn me right side up and tow me out gently as I theoretically dove in and might have a broken neck. So one guy gently took my body, the other gently took my head, and they proceeded to try and turn both halves the opposite directions. The trainer decided I was dead =)

    I will say, if you ever get the chance to be a victim in a mass triage, go for it - it can be a blast. I have been promised I get to be hauled down into a cave and then used to train people to extract me =) I can't wait! [it helps that I am absolutely not claustrophobic and willing to be bumped and schlepped around while strapped into a carrier. Many people can't give up control and let it happen.] <and I will say I am looking forward to the next time we do a cave tour and the guide turns out the light - I have a hand crank flashlight on a lanyard with a tritium light source cable tied to it ... so none of this absolute dark and what happens if your battery goes out>
    EVE Online: 99% of the time you sit around waiting for something to happen, but that 1% of action is what hooks people like crack, you don't get interviewed by the BBC for a WoW raid.

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    • #3
      In the Army, we USED* to do IV catheter training. I was actually pretty good at insertion into the vain (WHAT MAKES THE GREEN GRASS GROW? 10 years later, the reply to that question is still drilled into my head ). Somehow, a soldier managed to kink the catheter while INSIDE the persons arm. Macho soldier refused to admit he was in pain. Luckily, after 5 min, the trainer noticed, came over and had the soldier pull out the needle. 4 kinks in the plastic bits (Macho: no, these are tears of joy, that did not hurt in the least ).

      On another day, we got trained on nasopharyngeal airway device (Not me, but I good idea of the training). I volunteered to be the patient, because YOLO and I never experienced one before. My Chaplain was the one who put it in, but there is a catch, a general class rule that the instructors follow "Do onto others as ye would have done unto yourself". I might have forgotten to mention said rule. Chaplains lead the way, Sir! I might have had too much fun that day.

      Then one time, someone took "train as you fight" too far and applied full pressure to the major artery in my leg (Dam strait, I am going to kick you). Yes, that is correct procedure, but it hurts like hell. Only do it to people bleeding out.

      *(This was a few years ago. Now, they have decided to stop doing IV training in favor of focusing on bleeding control. They must have been conflicted, it both made sense and saved money. )
      I might be crazy, but I'm not Insane.

      What? You don't play with flamethrowers on the weekends? You are strange.

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      • #4
        Oh and I forgot to add as well, apparently if you call 911 in Aussieland, you will get emergency services...>.>
        The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

        Now queen of USSR-Land...

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        • #5
          I got to be a Dramatic Victim in a 'what to do if there's an actual bomb attack' drill at one of my past workplaces! It was awesome, I had fake blood all over me and got to run up the path to one of our secure buildings, screaming my head off, then gasp out my message at the front desk. The guy behind me was the Really Dramatic Victim, though - he'd been made up with prosthetics etc to look like his arm had been blown off, and he had a squeeze bulb that he could use to squirt out fake blood from a 'severed artery'. We were all wearing big t-shirts with "VICTIM" on them in huge letters back and front, so it was kinda-obviously a drill, but man we got some good looks from the bunch of smokers standing around outside.

          We'd been told to improvise, so when I was taken into a side room, parked in a chair, and left alone as all the security guards and First Aid people attended to Really Dramatic Victim Guy, I waited a few minutes and then 'passed out' with a dramatic THUD as I fell out of my chair. Plus, the front desk guards weren't supposed to ever leave any paperwork where someone reaching over the counter could get to it, but they had all their shift notes and so forth right there... so Really Dramatic Victim Guy made sure to get it with a good squirt out of his fake blood bulb. My supervisor was one of the 'non-ambulatory victims' at the 'attack site' - more fake blood and sticking-out lamb shanks to simulate open fractures, moaning in 'terrible pain' - and the overworked first aid guy trying to do victim triage eventually told her to put a sock in it.

          It was a recurring thing, I got to participate in a few more 'victims on scene' drills, but that was the absolute best one. (The one where I was faking the symptoms of cranial bleeding was pretty good, too - I got more and more 'confused and rambling', and ended up getting the paramedic assessing me to promise to look for my cat!)

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          • #6
            My last CPR class was done via Red Cross and wasn't nearly as fun as this one. I do recall though that they showed the vinnie jones CPR ad to us and I then piped up with the suggestion to use "another one bites the dust." As an alternate song to help you keep track of time. The trainer cautioned me against singing it out loud though
            The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

            Now queen of USSR-Land...

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            • #7
              I do a Mock Code Simulation for the capstone students in my nursing program. It's everyone's favorite Simulation of the program. I explain how the defibrillator works, how to use it safely and not shock anyone with it., and how to use the drugs in the crash cart.

              Then I run them through a simplified V tach V fib scenario.

              The biggest thing is that most people when they do CPR on a real person either do it too slowly, or don't do compressions deeply enough. I teach them to use "Stayin' Alive" to keep the right tempo
              They say that God only gives us what we can handle. Apparently, God thinks I'm a bad ass.

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              • #8
                Kinda funny mentioning being the victim in a rescue scenario. I'm the guy they punished crews with back when I was involved in emergency services. A Stokes relay is a lot easier when the strappee actually fits in the litter, lol. 6'4" and a decently fit 350 lbs does not make for a happy extraction team. I wish I was that fit now, lol. I might be 50# lighter, but the mass migrated from arm n leg muscles to the spare tire I'm working on losing.

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                • #9
                  Quoth BearLeeBadenaugh View Post
                  ... 6'4" and a decently fit 350 lbs...
                  Can't we take him apart here and put him back together in the ER?
                  I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
                  Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
                  Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

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                  • #10
                    I've got another story from a training class, except this one's my asthma certification. (Basically spending $90 to tell me what I already know since this stuff's covered in first aid, but I digress)

                    Basically the trainer did some classes for local AFL clubs. He would also check on their equipment, making sure it was entirely functional and all those fun things (so making sure their Ventolin was up to date, their spacer was working, their first aid kit had everything etc.). When he went to check on their equipment, he found their spacer was opaque white. Now spacers are meant to be clear. So he asked if they'd painted their spacer. Nope.

                    Turned out that quite a number of the club members were asthmatic and they'd share the spacer (big no-no). None of them bothered to wash it after use, so over time, the powder from their inhalers would basically build up in the spacer. The opaque white "paint" so to speak was basically 5-10 years worth of ventolin residue that had covered the entire spacer.

                    Needless to say, he promptly discarded said spacer, gave them new ones and reminded them that they NEEDED THEIR OWN DAMN SPACER.
                    The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

                    Now queen of USSR-Land...

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                    • #11
                      Ewwwwww

                      There are few things that I can think of that are more disgusting then that. (Two girls, one cup level of disgusting).
                      I might be crazy, but I'm not Insane.

                      What? You don't play with flamethrowers on the weekends? You are strange.

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                      • #12
                        Quoth Gilhelmi View Post
                        Ewwwwww

                        There are few things that I can think of that are more disgusting then that. (Two girls, one cup level of disgusting).
                        Yeah....

                        My school keeps all those fun things in zip lock pouches where they can be accessed for easy use by us and the school. Every kid with asthma needs to have:

                        -inhaler (preventer or reliever...most kids under 12 do not have a symptom controller, or if they do, they'll take it at home)
                        -spacer (the only exception to this is if the kid is on bricanyl, which is done in the twist-top thing that looks like a whistle)
                        -authorisation for us to administer said medication.
                        -an asthma plan (which needs to be updated every 6 months)

                        So far none of the spacers are gross

                        I'm actually quite happy as we have fewer allergies than last year. Most of the issues are dietary and the ones that aren't mostly relate to nuts in some shape or form (which were good with anyway).
                        The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

                        Now queen of USSR-Land...

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                        • #13
                          Quoth fireheart View Post
                          Now spacers are meant to be clear.
                          Well most of them are. Vortex spacers aren't.

                          The opaque white "paint" so to speak was basically 5-10 years worth of ventolin residue that had covered the entire spacer.
                          EEEWWWW!!

                          I prevented a similar thing from happening tonight. I had received prescriptions for a nebulizer/compressor, pediatric face mask, and some low dose (0.021%) albuterol (salbutamol, for those of you on that side of the water) to a patient. This patient was on straight fee-for-service Medicaid, rather than the usual HMO, so this makes for interesting billing sometimes. The albuterol and the mask were approved for payment, but the nebulizer/compressor didn't go through.

                          (The nebulizer, technically, is the cup where you put the medicine; but everyone but me refers to the compressor as the nebulizer. I believe that this is like referring to your computer as a "hard drive", i.e. inaccurate. The compressor usually has the nebulizer and tubing included in the box.)

                          I called the patient's mother and told her about this, and she said to send the medicine anyway, because she knew someone who could lend her the machine.

                          I told her I was going to send her a cup and tubing (i.e. the nebulizer itself) anyway, because even if the borrowed machine came with one, I wouldn't recommend using it after someone else already had. She agreed with this assessment.

                          (Fortunately the nebulizer/tubing did go through when billed separately from the compressor. The latter still doesn't. I work elsewhere on Fridays, so the boss is going to take care of this himself.)

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                          • #14
                            Quoth Shalom View Post
                            Well most of them are. Vortex spacers aren't.
                            None of the kids I work with have those. Most of them have a blue or purple cylinder thing, although one has one that looks like 2 cones stuck together at the base. (the "old school spacers")
                            The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

                            Now queen of USSR-Land...

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