questions people ask me

[wolfie]

"Can you make me a virgin Shirley Temple?"

Precisely the point. She apparently thought that a Shirley Temple had alcohol in it. Specifically, she though grenadine was alcoholic. To be fair, they DO make alcoholic grenadine, but it is very much the exception, not the rule.

I've heard that some bartenders (especially at places that don't go through grenadine very fast) will put neutral grain spirits into a freshly-opened bottle as a preservative, otherwise it'll go bad before they finish the bottle.

What would take the cake would be "Can you make me a virgin Rusty Nail?" (or other mixed drink where ALL the ingredients are one type of booze or another).

A sadly common one: "I have a coupon, but I left it at the hotel. Can I still use it?"

Only if, before you order your drink, you go back to the hotel and get it.

[Jay 2K Winger]

What would take the cake would be "Can you make me a virgin Rusty Nail?" (or other mixed drink where ALL the ingredients are one type of booze or another).

I could see Jester coming up with something snarky to say in response to that.

Something like, "One water, coming up."

[Kittish]

Thank you for calling <nationally know red roof> pizza place <blah blah>

Do you guys sell pizza????


Unfortuneately this "question" has been asked MORE times than I care to count.

No, we sell vintage car parts. We only call ourselves a pizza place to confuse and confound people. Did it work? Great! Have a wonderful day, now. Buh-bye!

What would take the cake would be "Can you make me a virgin Rusty Nail?" (or other mixed drink where ALL the ingredients are one type of booze or another).

Or a virgin Long Island Iced Tea. "Here you go, one glass of unsweetened iced tea."

[registerrodeo]

The stamps were all custom made..per the large print sign on the counter where the guy was standing (yeah, I know, they don't read), but this guy didn't ask for a kit or anything about how they are made..just asked if we had his address

[Ironclad Alibi]

No, we sell vintage car parts. We only call ourselves a pizza place to confuse and confound people. Did it work? Great! Have a wonderful day, now. Buh-bye!

That's like the Johnny Cupcakes store that only sells t-shirts.

[Mike Taylor]

One of the common questions companywide at The Big Yellow Price Tag is "Where's your electronics department?" or some variation thereof. Except for appliances, the WHOLE DAMN STORE is electronics of some form.

The variation we got when I was at the Fantastically Awesome Old toy store was usually delivered over the phone, "Is this the toy department?"

One time I answered, "No ma'am, we only sell luggage."

[Mike Taylor]

"Where y'alls nintendo tapes at?"

Not making this up. Srsly.

Could be worse I had a customer back in the day that insisted on calling them Kuh-ten-doze, despite looking right at the box and seeing the right spelling.

[MadMike]

When I was working at a home improvements store -- i.e. Lowe's or Home Depot -- someone asked me where we keep the dog food.

I told her we didn't carry dog food, and she told me, "You used to carry it!"

Rather than argue, I just told her, "Well, I've only been here a couple of months. That must have been before my time here."

One time I had a girl ask me if she could have a page of stickers... She meant stamps.

My son actually did that awhile back. He asked my wife if she had any "stickers", and she gave him a confused look. She asked him what kind of stickers, and he told her he needed to mail out some bills. "Oh, you mean stamps!"

"Where y'alls nintendo tapes at?"

For some reason, it always bugged me when people referred to game cartridges as "tapes." There's no tape in those things!

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Old Guy: What's the difference between a desktop computer and a laptop?

Me: BSOD

*after I had composed myself*

A desktop computer has a tower unit that the monitor, mouse, and other peripherals plug into, and the tower sits on the floor or on a desktop. Whereas a laptop sits on your lap. Like a burlesque girl amirite? *wink*

Just kidding on that last part.

[siskaren]

The variation we got when I was at the Fantastically Awesome Old toy store was usually delivered over the phone, "Is this the toy department?"

One time I answered, "No ma'am, we only sell luggage."

Here's your sign.

When I was working at a home improvements store -- i.e. Lowe's or Home Depot -- someone asked me where we keep the dog food.

I told her we didn't carry dog food, and she told me, "You used to carry it!"

Rather than argue, I just told her, "Well, I've only been here a couple of months. That must have been before my time here."

Maybe she was thinking of Menards. Even though they are a home improvement store, they also have a small selection of grocery items.

[mhkohne]

For some reason, it always bugged me when people referred to game cartridges as "tapes." There's no tape in those things!

It's actually a common error for people of a certain age range. They came to associate the word tape with storage, so new forms of storage were 'tapes'. My wife's grandparents called CD's 'round tapes'

[wolfie]

For some reason, it always bugged me when people referred to game cartridges as "tapes." There's no tape in those things!

It's actually a common error for people of a certain age range. They came to associate the word tape with storage, so new forms of storage were 'tapes'. My wife's grandparents called CD's 'round tapes'

For some of the early systems, the cartridge was roughly the same size as an 8-track cartridge, which DID contain tape. As for "round tapes", those would be reel-to-reel. Now get off my lawn, you young whippersnappers!

[An Haddock]

For some of the early systems, the cartridge was roughly the same size as an 8-track cartridge, which DID contain tape. As for "round tapes", those would be reel-to-reel. Now get off my lawn, you young whippersnappers!

I still refer to CD's as albums, which may or may not be the proper term for them.

[HawaiianShirts]

when asked if they wanted their shrimp raw or cooked "What's the difference?", having them reply "Neither"

Somebody's not listening to the question. I've had a few of those myself.

"Would you like your free informational video sent to you on a VHS tape or a DVD?"
"What's the difference?"

"Do you want to stick with the 17-inch monitor that comes with this PC package, or would you rather upgrade to a 19- or 21-inch?"
"What's the difference?"

"Any questions today, sir, or anything I can help you find."
"Yes."
"Great. What can I help with?"
"Nothing. I'm just browsing."

"Will that be for pick-up or delivery?"
"Yes."
"Which one?"
"Oh! Delivery. We'll be there to get it in half an hour."

[Ghel]

We get some.... interesting questions here at the bank, too.

"Are my checks ready?"
*looks* "I don't see any checks. When did you order them?"
"No, my canceled checks!"
"Oh, you mean your statement. Here it is."

"What's the difference between a secured loan and an unsecured loan?"

"How much do I have to pay to open a checking account?"
Variation: "How much will it cost me to open a checking account?"

"Why did I get this below balance fee? I have over $100 in my account!"
"Yes, you do now. But on such-and-such day, your balance was under $100."

"Why did I get this overdraft notice? I got paid on the first!"
"Yes, but the checks which overdrew your account cleared on the 31st."

"Do you sell postage stamps?"
(What makes this one worse is the post office is less than a block away.)